NCed. I don't know where to begin. I have been married 25 years. It's been up and down. Have two DC, 20 and 17. Have had immense stress in the past few years: death, illness, job loss, DH working away, mental illness: you name it, we have had it. Covid hasn't helped any.
In the last few years, it has been getting steadily worse. Sex life is almost zero. DH has put on lots of weight, is grumpy and tired all the time. I work far fewer hours in a much lower paying profession, so I do most of the housework and in the past, childcare. I don't mind doing it, but lately in lockdown have been feeling like a skivvy and completely unappreciated. Of course he feels the same because he does a very stressful job. Have got a cleaner recently to solve this.
At one point a few years ago I recognised we were sinking. We began to try to fix it, but at the time DD fell seriously ill and we have to focus on her. She has a chronic illness which is now better, but always there. During this time she was my sole focus. We had only just emerged from that when covid hit.
Today it all came to a head. He blew up, called me horrible names, said that I have made zero contribution to the marriage, called me lazy and a golddigger, frigid, and god knows what else. I don't think we are coming back from this. I feel like I have made sacrifices for years and he does not give a damn. I know I can't make him give a damn.
I know on MN the usual conclusion is that he is having an affair. I am certain he is not. He works from home now and is home all day except for an occ walk. He leaves his phone around and I have the password. He is not secretive. I think the catalyst for this is that DS will be leaving next year to go to uni. So perhaps he feels there is no point sticking around for the children.
I feel shattered. I can't believe I have devoted 25 years to someone who clearly hates and despises me, and thinks all my contributions are zero. I have my own family money and a house left to me by my mother, btw.