Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Phone upside down all the time

42 replies

RLEOM · 02/08/2021 11:53

What is your stance on your partner always having his phone facing down so you can't see the screen? Are there genuine reasons for this other than having something to hide?

A ex of a friend of mine always used to keep his phone upside down all the time. When my friend went to look down his phone (she never had done before - he didn't believe she would do it for that reason), he burst into tears saying he didn't want her to look at it as he had a medical condition he'd been looking up. She didn't look down it in the end as she believed him but why would he panic and burst into tears? Surely he'd not been looking up this medical condition throughout the entire 2 years of their relationship?

Another friend's partner keeps his phone upside down all the time to protect the screen, apparently. But surely the screen is more likely to get damaged if it's touching a surface? I'm aware of screen protectors but his behaviour just doesn't make sense.

I get so annoyed that people fall for these excuses. Am I in the wrong? Are there genuine reasons why someone would never want to have their screen on display?

Please enlighten me. I'd love to hear genuine reasons as to why someone would keep their screen hidden.

OP posts:
ApolloandDaphne · 02/08/2021 11:55

Like face down? I keep mine face down all the time. I don't really have a reason for it, I just do. It has a rubberised cover so the screen is not in contact with any hard surface.

Hopingforabagofbuttons · 02/08/2021 12:07

If someone is up to no good surely they would just turn notifications off rather than do that. Much easier

PortMerrionCentre · 02/08/2021 12:10

Why are you interested in what is on someone else’s screen? I couldn’t even tell you which way up DH puts his phone.
This isn’t even your partner’s phone you’re talking about so I don’t understand why you are annoyed

SleepingStandingUp · 02/08/2021 12:15

Its easier to ignore messages etc if it's upside down and less tempting to go on and mess about on it
And i mean innocent messages and messing about

Bakingmad001 · 02/08/2021 12:15

It can be really innocent, they like their privacy and don’t want anyone to see notifications popping up.

ComtesseDeSpair · 02/08/2021 12:17

I keep mine face down so that I’m not distracted by the screen if messages or notifications come through.

If I was receiving messages I didn’t want anyone to know about them I’d just turn off the message notification and message preview functions so that they don’t appear on the Home Screen, rather than try to hide them by keeping the screen out of sight.

Cocomade · 02/08/2021 12:24

I always put mine face down, no reason for it all tbh just a habit.

TheFoundations · 02/08/2021 12:26

I do it if I'm out in company. It's uncomfortable to keep the phone in my pocket, but I don't want the person/people I'm with to have to watch me glancing at my phone if it lights up.

Chemenger · 02/08/2021 12:29

I keep mine face down when I’m with other people so I’m not distracted by it. It seems the polite thing to do.

Rollercoaster1920 · 02/08/2021 12:38

I used to when it had a screen and sensor thing sensor that switched the screen off if it thought it was in a pocket. If I wanted to see the screen I'd leave it face up, if I wanted to not be disturbed and save battery I'd put it face down.

Phones in pockets are uncomfortable so on table face down so notifications aren't appearing makes sense.

Original poster
RLEOM · 02/08/2021 12:40

OK, I'm glad to hear people do this without having anything to hide. I've never seen anyone do it before; my friends, nor family, nor acquaintances have ever had their phones screen down, so the concept is alien to me. I've only ever had exes who were cheating who would be secretive with their phone, so for me it's a red flag.

Thanks for giving me some outside input.

OP posts:
LyingWitchInTheWardrobe · 02/08/2021 12:43

Mine has a flip cover that's always on. It's because I don't want to be disturbed/distracted by lights. I pay no attention to my husband's phone nor he to mine.

Why would anybody want to be keeping an eye on what's going on with their partner's phone? The calls/messages aren't for you so, why?

Obviously if cheating is suspected then there are problems in the relationship that have led you to that. It's the beginning of the end too. Once trust is gone, there's nothing there worth having.

I'm not really talking about that type of snooping - it's the general, without a cause or reason nosiness that I find controlling. I wouldn't put up with it either.

NCBlossom · 02/08/2021 12:45

Yes often it’s a sign of hiding something.

My Ex always put his phone face down. Always secretive. Trusted. Him completely.

Turned out he was messaging women every day.

TheFoundations · 02/08/2021 12:47

I had an ex who didn't used to do it start to do it, whilst we were together. That was a red flag - the change. And defensiveness when asked. But lots of people do it for innocent reasons.

Zealois · 02/08/2021 12:53

My partner and I both put our phones upside when not in use. If I'm with friends we also all seem to do it - seems impolite to have notifications lighting up when having a conversation.

At home I do it so I don't get distracted by notifications if I'm reading/working/watching tv.

Anonymouslyposting · 02/08/2021 12:55

I always keep mine face down… mostly I don’t like the light flashing up and being interrupted by texts and notifications, I hate that people always have an eye on their phones these days, I just think it’s polite to have it face down to concentrate on who yo are with.

But also - I don’t want people reading me messages. That isn’t because I’m having an affair (I’ve never cheated) it’s just sometimes I say things to one person I wouldn’t say to another, or someone says something to me they wouldn’t want shared and it’s polite to maintain their privacy.

TwoLeftSocksWithHoles · 02/08/2021 13:22

I think a phone I had a long time ago went into 'silent mode' if it was face down.

LavendulaAngustifolia · 02/08/2021 13:26

Mine is set to 'do not disturb' when it's turned face down.

bluemoon1992 · 02/08/2021 14:09

I know loads of people who are cheating who keep their phone up side down so when messages come through they can't be seen by their partner

saraclara · 02/08/2021 14:32

I keep mine face down, and it's perfectly usual among my family and friends. It signals that I'm 'present' and not half looking at/listening out for my phone.

allyouneedisconnection · 02/08/2021 14:37

@saraclara

I keep mine face down, and it's perfectly usual among my family and friends. It signals that I'm 'present' and not half looking at/listening out for my phone.
I do the same for this exact reason. I would feel rude to be glancing at my phone whenever it lit up.
MissCruellaDeVil · 02/08/2021 15:12

I put mine face down just because I have a nice phone cover and like to look at it, the screen is protected as the front part is raised so I think why not? Nothing to hide on my phone though, and DH knows the pin code so if he ever wanted to look through it, he could. Wouldn't find much though lol

deydododatdodontdeydo · 02/08/2021 15:55

Like face down? I keep mine face down all the time. I don't really have a reason for it, I just do. It has a rubberised cover so the screen is not in contact with any hard surface.

Same here. Also, it has bumps on the back so wobbles if face up.

MilduraS · 02/08/2021 15:59

I keep mine face down to stop me picking it up everytime there's a pop-up notification. If I had something to hide I'd just turn off the message preview option for when it's on a locked screen.

gannett · 02/08/2021 16:08

Stop paying so much attention to other people's phones.

I couldn't tell you whether DP puts his face down or face up and we've been together 10 years. Nor could I tell you what any of my friends do. Nor would I read anything into it if I noticed it because there are a million obvious, innocent reasons why people would choose to do it.

Swipe left for the next trending thread