Hi all,
NC for this obviously,
I’ve known my friend for about 10 years and we’re quite close, although we live a few hours apart. She is kind and sweet but she has issues stemming from her childhood with bullying, lack of parental support, etc, and she can be extremely negative and egocentric. She always talks about herself and her problems and rarely asks about mine, as I’ve also had a child with special needs recently and gone through hell with an abusing ex, although I try to be supportive as she doesn’t have many friends bar me.
She found a man, moved in and had two children in a very short space of time (born in the same year but not twins). She often shares intimate details of their relationship issues, which are several, but at the same time she agreed to marry him and is planning a winter 2023 wedding.
Their issues include him being addicted to cannabis and growing this in their shared home. He smokes every day. He drives the car with the children whilst high (she says not noticeably). He risks his job as they do random drug testing. He doesn’t contribute to bringing up their children and spends most of his free time smoking weed. She tells me various details on other relationship issues which seem more “normal”.
As I said, all whilst this is going on, one minute she is complaining about drug use and him being an absent dad, next minute she’s planning the wedding cake and dress. It’s driving me mad. I’ve tried to hint at the various problems including the risk to her children/social services, to no avail really. What can I do to make her listen? Or should
I even bother?