Love or Money

[changesoul]

If you have to choose between love & money what will you choose & Why? U cannot have both.

I don't need love in my life but I do need to put food on the table. So money all the way.

Anyway who says money can't buy you happiness has never lived without any!

@Kendodd

Was this meant to be a choice between a riich partner you didn't love or a poor partner you did love? I read it being a life where you loved nobody and nobody loved you but you were rich or a live filled with love but not much money.

I would much rather have a love filled life.

Rich partner u don't love makes 100k joint income Rich has house

Poor partner u love makes 30k joint income
Poor don't have house

Why is the assumption that the money has to be from a man? I had assumed the choice was a loving partner or a shit load of money! As I've got to mid 50s without a loving partner I'll take the money thanks

100k isn't the kind of rich I'm thinking! I'm thinking millionaire type rich where I'd never have to work again type rich.

Not a chance I would pick a richer partner that I don't love. Over a poorer partner that I do love.

I would be with the one I love and work at improving our income together. But that person would need to share my aim of us making more money. I wouldn't be working to improve my own earning potential while they didn't out an effort in. If they didn't want to do that, they wouldn't be someone I would be compatible with. So would choose neither person.

As I said before though. If it was just a lump sum that gives me financial independence, then yes I would give up love.

Love definitely and absolutely. Nothing more important. It makes you feel like you are the right person in the right time. It just makes everything alright.

@JustGotToKeepOnKeepingOn

100k isn't the kind of rich I'm thinking! I'm thinking millionaire type rich where I'd never have to work again type rich.

Yeah to be fair so was I. I don't think someone else's 80k wage is worth giving up someone I truly loved.

Also given that, that person could dump you and leave you with nothing anyway.

Why is the assumption that the money has to be from a man?

I didn't make that assumption, but it seems I was the only one who didn't.

@Kendodd

Why is the assumption that the money has to be from a man?

I didn't make that assumption, but it seems I was the only one who didn't.

I don't think that's true.

Op asked if people would choose love or money. People asked to clarify, Was it just money or did the money come attached to a partner.

Usually when there's a choice between love and money. A partner is a main point of this. MNs poster are overwhelming female. A good portion of those women will be in relationships with men. So, if they are being asked what they would do choose. They will think of it in the context of their own life. So makes sense, the ones who are talking about men are thinking that way.

I didn't actually specify a gender. I asked to clarify if this was partner dependent. I am the higher earner, in my relationship. So no assumption money only comes along with a man.

Here's a different take on the love or money question: you've done well for yourself, you've got your own house and pension pot. You meet the man of your dreams, but he's got no house and about a third of the savings you do. He's going to dump you if you don't marry him. What do you do?

You don't marry him @deeplyambivalent. DH didn't have third of my savings when we met but we did want to marry each other. We had a pre-nup and I'd have been concerned if he'd had an issue with that.

@Buggritbuggrit

How much money are we talking? Bezos levels or just pleasantly well to do? 😂

Also, do we both have to be poor, or can I still have my current level of income?

And why can’t we have both?

So many questions. I think I’m ruining the game.

I am at the stage where I have to make choice.

I like a guy who earn 35k and he does not have his own house he lives on rent. I got another prospect who earn 80-90k has his own house and family in U.K.

The guy with 35k work as customer service & guy 85k works in IT architecture.

I like the guy of 35k in talk & looks. 85k guy is decent too but I don't see connection.

I'm so confused my family thinks I should say yes to 85k guy. I'm 35 I earn around 25k but this days job are not certain in my department ppl got redundant so I'm scared too..

What u guys think I like 35k guy more and we have connection. Hope tis clarify things

@changesoul I’ve seen both of your threads about this and I’m sorry, but this is rather distasteful. You are not a commodity for sale to the highest bidder and these men are actual people with feelings. You are a grown woman with the capacity to support yourself, so do so. If you want to be with someone, be with him. If you don’t, then don’t.

My mother always said ‘when you get older it’s easier to be miserable in comfort’ — always seemed really depressing but now I’m
Late 50s I know what she was trying to say —

Where does your husband figure in all this? Is he one of these men?

I know loads of rich people that are really stingy and don’t enjoy their money. Having a similar attitude to money is as important as how much you both have.

£85k isn't rich and £35k is far from poor. The fact you're comparing them based on their incomes, jobs etc suggest you don't deserve either of them.

I thought you loved the guy with less money and you earned less than 20k each.

You did not love the guy who earns better.

Why on earth would you pick the higher earning one? When his positive points on both threads are his wage. That's it.

That wage is his. Its nothing to do with you. He could dump you after a couple of years.

So you could pick him, with no connection for his money. Miss out on someone you have a connection with. Then get dumped anyway. The relationship is far less likely to work out if there's no connection.

If you want more money, to the point that you are thinking of getting in relationships with men based only on their money. You should be concentrating on increasing your own earning potential.

I think OP is married to the higher earner.

You are making this sound like some of arranged marriage op. It sounds pretty simple to me. There is no connection with the £85k chap therefore you let him go. There is a connection with the £35k chap but you don't think he's good enough therefore you should let him go too if you can't compromise.

I think you need a careful look at your own prospects though. If at 35 you are earning £25k you aren't exactly catch of the day (and sorry for putting that crudely) so perhaps you need to have a think about negotiable and non negotiable compromises and what will make you happy.

Ultimately if you can't decide between two blokes and the one for you isn't blindingly obvious I'd call it a day with both.

Thank you everyone one. It is arrange marriage in our culture that's how it is. For girl her carrier is not very important in my culture and I'm ok with that. I don't mind that at all.

My mom his live like that his mom, all my cousins my age & more etc... I'm not married to any one yet .. for those who are asking or thinking that.

Love

No matter how much money you have. You can never buy true love and happiness as it's hard to come by!! Learnt that lesson....

I hope things work out for you, OP. It sounds difficult. A divorce lawyer once told me that the single most important factor for success in a marriage is kindness. I hope whoever you end up with is kind.

@changesoul

Thank you everyone one. It is arrange marriage in our culture that's how it is. For girl her carrier is not very important in my culture and I'm ok with that. I don't mind that at all.

My mom his live like that his mom, all my cousins my age & more etc... I'm not married to any one yet .. for those who are asking or thinking that.

You have a whole thread about your husband being terrible in bed?

If this is an arranged marriage, you're not choosing between love and money. You're choosing between someone you like and someone you don't really like, and you're being pressured on that decision.

How strict is the arranged marriage? Are these your only options? What happens if neither of them are who you want to be with?

What happens if you want your career to matter?