unusual phone location

[mallorcanundoin]

I have noticed that a few weeks ago DH's phone logged a significant location on a street I'd never heard of for four hours starting in the early hours of one day. Only one visit.
He always turns his phone off at night.
I think I have now identified where this location is on google maps.
If you were me, would you go to this location and have a look-see?

What are you looking for? Why is it worthy of looking? Presumably you are already suspicious about something else?

You can take a look at the address on Google Streetview to see what’s there.

Sounds like you already are suspicious of him? If there is no other reasons to be suspicious of him I wouldn’t bother. Those apps get it wrong often. But you do you.

What does Google maps show? Just a big standard house? What did DH say he was doing/going at that time?
Do you have reason to be suspicious? Although you must have, or you'd have just asked him.
Go and have a good look.

Where was he supposed to be during those early hours? The location thingy does get it wrong sometimes.

Turning his phone off at night is not suspicious if he's asleep in bed next to you, but more suspicious if he's working 'overtime' or out 'with friends'.

What do you expect to see if you go to the location? It's probably just houses, it won't give you any further information about whether he's been there or not. Unless you go there when he's away from home, you might see his car there perhaps.

I'd be more concerned about why you feel the need to track his phone and check on his whereabouts. Has something happened before to make you suspicious? Is your gut telling you to track him or do you have trust issues?

Once you've looked at why you're doing this you can then decide on a plan.

If you were me, would you go to this location and have a look-see?

I would t have been checking his location on his phone in the first place. So no, I wouldn't.

You must have had reason to do so, which would indicate you are trying to find something out. That said I would just use a 3D map to look.

It's a residential area, mainly OAP territory, backing onto a field.

Already suspicious because some weird things have been happening to me over the past couple of years. Weird as in, weird coincidental events, DH sometimes like an alien has taken him over and sometimes completely normal, etc.

Where did you think he was, whilst his phone was showing the other location?

Well I'm assuming you have your reasons for checking his location. You're certain he was actually out of the house at that time? You say "early hours" - was he on a night shift? Out with friends?

I know I'd do a drive-by if he said he was in one place but his phone said differently, but I'm not sure what I'd expect to find if it was just a residential area.

Already suspicious because some weird things have been happening to me over the past couple of years. Weird as in, weird coincidental events, DH sometimes like an alien has taken him over and sometimes completely normal, etc.

What do you mean? What was he like when you first met him (how long ago?) and what's he like now?

He always turns his phone off before bed and this was just another ordinary night. I am usually a deep sleeper so I wouldn't necessarily know if he has got up early or the time he gets up sometimes. He will sometimes walk the dog early if I'm asleep, but not that early, and not for 4 hours.

@Winnona

Where did you think he was, whilst his phone was showing the other location?

I would have thought he was in bed, asleep, with the phone off as usual.

But I can't say for sure because it was weeks ago and I am usually asleep at those times in the morning for 99% of the time anyway.

So you're thinking he got up and went there while you were asleep? How can you tell how many hours? I get an email every month saying where I've been (pitiful, this last year!) but it doesn't say how long I was there.

Already suspicious because some weird things have been happening to me over the past couple of years. Weird as in, weird coincidental events, DH sometimes like an alien has taken him over and sometimes completely normal, etc.

What sort of weird things? What do you mean as though an alien has taken him over?

Haven't you asked him before now, if things have been 'iffy' for a couple of years, what on earth is going on?

I can never understand why, when someone behaves out of character, people just leave it. There could be all manner of things wrong and in a relationship, it helps enormously if communication is open.

My location tracking has the street my friend lives on in Philadelphia listed in “recent locations”. I haven’t visited since December 2019. So it could be a glitch.

If this is a part of a long-standing pattern of odd behaviour from him, is it really worth wasting time and energy trying to super sleuth from random detail? I’d think it was time for some proper discussions about what’s going on in your relationship and whether there’s something you need to know about.

@HollowTalk

So you're thinking he got up and went there while you were asleep? How can you tell how many hours? I get an email every month saying where I've been (pitiful, this last year!) but it doesn't say how long I was there.

It's possible he got up and went there without me knowing, simply because I'm a deep sleeper. I'm not convinced he would have actually gone to this place at those times though. Significant locations tells you how long you were at a particular location.

@ComtesseDeSpair

My location tracking has the street my friend lives on in Philadelphia listed in “recent locations”. I haven’t visited since December 2019. So it could be a glitch.

If this is a part of a long-standing pattern of odd behaviour from him, is it really worth wasting time and energy trying to super sleuth from random detail? I’d think it was time for some proper discussions about what’s going on in your relationship and whether there’s something you need to know about.

We have had proper discussions - several now. Each time he is 100% adamant he is not having an affair. Each time he is unable to explain the weird events. I have not mentioned this most recent one to him as I thought it is about time I try to 'super sleuth' as you say, as I might actually get some answers.

You don't need to explain yourself and why you don't trust him OP.

In my experience women are rarely paranoid for no good reason. It is more often the case that a gut feeling something is off only makes sense when, months or years later, it all adds up after the husband's affair/secret addiction comes out.

Oh and people who cheat/have other hidden behaviours are pathological liars so there's no point asking him!

So you're stalking him? He's told you he's not having an affair. If you don't trust that then why continue with the relationship?

Are you certain it's not a glitch? I was looking at old photos on my phone yesterday. I have an aerial photo of Kuala Lumpur lit up at night, whilst coming into land but bizarrely my phone thinks it was taken at Birmingham Airport (7000 miles away). So location services do sometimes glitch.

So you think your DH gets into bed at night, waits until you go to sleep, then heads out for 4 hours with his mistress before returning home and slipping back into bed before you wake?

That's crazy even by MN standards!

Is waiting around for months or years for his secret affair to come out and vindicate your suspicions a better option than ending the relationship now because you don’t trust him? You don’t need to have evidence of an affair to end a shit relationship where presumably neither of you are happy anymore. There are no prizes for staying and catching him out eventually.

@5475878237NC

You don't need to explain yourself and why you don't trust him OP.

In my experience women are rarely paranoid for no good reason. It is more often the case that a gut feeling something is off only makes sense when, months or years later, it all adds up after the husband's affair/secret addiction comes out.

Thank you, that means a lot x

The thought had crossed my mind about an addiction of some sort, just because a lot of it seems to fit the pattern much better than an affair would.

But he doesn't use recreational drugs, never has.

There have been a handful of questionable events which relate to early morning. I know that local drug dealers arrange meets early morning as I've seen them occasionally hanging about when I walk the dog.

Each time he is 100% adamant he is not having an affair. Each time he is unable to explain the weird events

What type of thing?

There's a few options here. Either you're putting two and two together and making six - sharing examples here might help to check that, if it's a concern.

Or he has been behaving oddly for a few years, denying an affair but not actually offering any alternatives... and you now think that's progressed to him sneaking out while you're asleep to visit someone else for an extended period in the early hours of the morning. In that case, visiting probably isn't worth it. You'd be unlikely to get much information from it, and you already know that something is going on if this is the case... you seem to just be putting up with it.