‘D’ H being so inconsiderate

[RainyDay2020]

I am fuming with my H right now and need to vent.

I had major surgery a couple of weeks ago which I’m still recovering from. I can’t lay flat in bed so have been sleeping propped up on the sofa as it’s the only way I get a little bit of sleep at night.

This evening H announced he wanted a gaming session with his brother, I said fair enough but asked 3 basic things:

• Not too late as I’m exhausted and achy and need to go to sleep at a reasonable time

• not be too loud and maybe turn off the controller noise and vibration so as not to wake the kids

• don’t be aggressive and sweary as he knows it makes me anxious

It’s now 11pm and he’s “only just getting going” lots of noise and swearing and huffing and puffing and bouncing up and down on the sofa.

I just asked him to call it a day or at least quiet down so I can attempt sleep and he was shitty with me. I’m so pissed off and upset.

Big backstory as I am supposed to be resting for at least 6 weeks post surgery and his promises (In front of family and announced on fuckin Facebook) to “look after me” lasted less than a week.

He won’t listen to reason so actions speak louder than words, can you access the fuse box?

He announced it on Facebook? So would I then!

If he’s posting on Facebook about how he’s going to look after you, I’d be commenting on his post about his noisy annoying antics when you’re trying to sleep. He clearly doesn’t care what you think of him, but if everyone else thinks he’s a selfish twat maybe he’ll shut the hell up?!

On a practical note, could he move the Xbox or whatever into another room? Or help you get propped up in bed instead?

I’m VERY tempted to put some twatty cryptic (obvious) post on Facebook about how “isn’t it funny how some people make a song and dance about caring for others when in fact they don’t give a shit in real life”. Which will prompt loads of “r u ok hun” responses from his family who think the sun shines out his arse.

Our bed has a low slatted headboard so I just can’t seem to get comfy and need my feet on the floor rather than horizontal if you get what I mean.

I’m now too angry to sleep anyway!

Fuse box was a good ideas but I can’t secretly get to the fuse box as I’m not mobile enough to reach up in the cupboard!

When he’s out tomorrow I might have to disconnect a wire slightly somehow to stop the console working (evil plan laugh).

Yes he's an arsehole. Is he normally like this?

Sorry for multiple posts, keep pressing buttons too soon as I’m in a rage!

He won’t move the console to another room as the stupidly big (only) tv is in the lounge.
Don’t get me started on a mid 40’s bloke behaving like a stroppy teenager with his games console. Honestly my actual teenager actual teenager has acted more grown up lately.

What an absolute shit he is! This is not looking after you. This is actively sabotaging your recover.

I’d be in the room making a huge fuss until the friends left. Do they know the situation?

@Sakurami he can be like this but is definitely worse lately. It’s like he’s regressed to being 12 years old.
It got worse since we moved to be nearer his family - a whole other long boring story!

Sorry - I see you said his brother and have twigged now that maybe it’s an online game 🤦🏻‍♀️

He said he would turn it off “in a minute” he’s got literally 3 minutes left before I start talking loudly so his mates and brother can hear.

Just thinking of how I can word my Oscar winning speech and say it quick so all can hear it …”.Pleeease can you turn it off now honey darling sweet as I’m desperate for sleep and really in pain..”

@GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing sorry should have explained it’s an online game. His brother and friends are in a ‘clan’ or ‘gang’ with him or whatever it’s called so they are all running round in the game playing soldiers or some bloody thing.

I’d simply lose my shit and tell him that he had lied to you about the games night, organizing it was stupid and selfish in the first place and he and his brother can fuck off to brother’s if they wish to continue. You are recovering from surgery, whether he’s looking after you or just virtue-signaling is up to him. You need the couch for sleeping and you need it now.

Just go in and explain to his brother that you're in pain and need to sleep. He'll be embarrassed and leave. Job done.

I'd be tempted to wiggle a screwdriver in the console when 'D'H is not looking...

I should have added get well soon OP to my post

Excellent idea about disconnecting something from the stupid console.

In terms of the future, can you see yourself staying in a marriage where your DH is more concerned about piddling about on his online game rather than looking after you and listening to you?

We’ve had words. I tried to stay calm and not swear even though I wanted to otherwise I’d be branded unreasonable.

Game is now off (small victory) but I’ll probably get the huffing and silent treatment tomorrow. Also I know there’s zero chance of him getting up with the kids in the morning.

@RainyDay2020

I’m VERY tempted to put some twatty cryptic (obvious) post on Facebook about how “isn’t it funny how some people make a song and dance about caring for others when in fact they don’t give a shit in real life”. Which will prompt loads of “r u ok hun” responses from his family who think the sun shines out his arse.

I'd be very tempted to dump the idiot not waste time on social media

I always think it's situations like this that show peoples true colours

He only cares about himself

You deserve better

Get rid

Sorry but that behaviour is pathetic. How old is he, 14? Can you see yourself with him long term? What does he add to the household?

So he was in the room with you doing this?!

Straight after my surgery he was very attentive and made a big fuss of looking after me but the novelty wore off very very quickly and now I’m expected to just get on with it.
The last week or so I feel like I’ve seen his true colours and I don’t like it one little bit.
There are lots of things over the last year or two that have made me feel like this won’t work any more but it’s a very scary thought after 20 years.

SpindleWhorl Yes I was upstairs for a while sitting in a chair up there but came down about 10:30 and asked him to turn it off so I could go to sleep (on sofa). He got stroppy and continued to play for almost another hour while I’ve been sat the other end of the sofa within for him to
Turn game off and F off so I can sleep.

There is nothing more deeply unattractive than a grown ass man getting mad over a video game

AntenatalNellie Thank you

omgthepain the posting on social media thing … I wouldn’t really do it but was tempted in response to him posting on FB how and WhatApp family group how he was going to look after me and how much he missed me when I was in hospital etc.

@sexysocks95

There is nothing more deeply unattractive than a grown ass man getting mad over a video game

Yep - exactly. Grown men acting like stroppy 12 year olds over a stupid game.