Everything calm been calm for a while. He's left but coming back but don't know when or how long for. Rang a place for help cos think maybe better leave before gets bad again but they said I don't need to leave now. They said I should call police if I was worried but that would stir him up and he's calm at moment. Really think he'd kill me if they got involved again.
I'm so frightened. Was really frightening when police been out before. Can't deal with it especially on my own. Got nothing to report anyway cos no recent physical violence. Still control and psychological abuse but no proof. So confused cos if she doesn't think I need to leave and no more risk, what would police do anyway except it would make him angry. Feel like sitting duck just waiting for him to attack me again but maybe I'm being stupid and just need to stop thinking of the past. Maybe he won't do anything again. Almost want him to just cos so hard mentally waiting not knowing. Maybe need reminder not just me imagining or making it up. Feel so panicky being here but now she's made me feel like a time waster. Do I need to stop worrying. Don't need to leave? He's in control whilst I'm here but doesn't matter if he's not attacking me?