So the background is I have 4 children Dd22 who lives with her partner and 14 month old dd , ds19 who moved into his dads last year , dd13 who lives with me and my ds11 who also lives with me. My partner of 3 years we live together and he has a dd21 own place and a ds13 who comes a few nights a week.
So thank you if you are still with me after that , myself and partner had booked a city break after the year everyone has had been trying to work through and also ds13 and my partner needing big operations in the last 12 months it had been quite stressful so my eldest dd 22 volunteers to have ds13 and ds 11 at her place for the weekend as she sometimes does and I have my dgd for her sometimes to give her a break. My ds 19 agrees to dog sit for us so off we go have a lovely weekend, we come back Sunday around lunchtime to find dd13 at home upstairs with 2 off her friends looking very sheepish she asks if she can stay at one of the girls houses , I say yes as I know where they live 12 miles away next street to my oldest daughter and the girls mum is picking them up. I ask ds13 why she was home as I was expecting her to be with my oldest she said she had stayed in our house with her friends as my son was here and he said it was ok then bolted quickly .I called my oldest daughter then who said she believed dd13 was sleeping at the friends house not our house so now alarm bells are ringing. I then go into the yard where there are roll up cigarette end stubbed out . Noone I know smokes roll up and the yard was clean when I left .i ring my eldest son who said yes she stayed but couldnt tell me how many people stayed .By now i know something is amiss but decide i will wait until the next day when dd13 gets back from her friends only the next day i find a bottle of baileys that my daughter had bought for my birthday had been opened and some drank , i messaged my son to ask him about it he said yes sorry he tried some as he had forgot what it was like , but I dont believe him something is off so I look on the iPad upstairs and find a very new convo between ds19 and dd13 him asking If it's her he will cover for her which is followed by a ten minute video call , busted ! I message my dd13 and tell her I want her home immediately I then call my son and he totally lacked any respect his exact word were 'you are a mum of four not m15' I told him at 19 I regarded him as an adult but he had blatantly lied about the alcohol and I was struggling to believe he had actually stayed at the house and he should be more onside with me about his 13 year old sister drinking . I also found the key I had left him in the exact same place that I dont believe he has been there to use so the situation now is my eldest dd wont pick up my calls since I began to piece my youngest daughters location of the weekend together I am annoyed as I left my youngest 2 in her care and I fully believe my daughter has stayed home alone all weekend having a free for all with her mates , my son and I have had a massive argument as according to him I should just let her do as she wishes no rules , no boundaries no repercussions as she will do it anyway so that did not go well after 4 hours of her not coming back and not responding I said that I was going to report her missing as by that time I had no idea where she was and it was getting dark . His response was why would you do that ? You do you ! It turns out she was hiding at my eldest dd and told me she will come home today when I've calmed down.
Mumsnetters where do I go from here I'm going between angry because of what's happenned and also what could of happenned and I'm oblivious in another city thinking everyone is safe. Disappointed because I expected better from all 3 of them and upset just by how now Dd22 wont pick the phone up, Ds thinks it's ok to speak to me like shit and I feel this is the start of a rocky road with my youngest daughter, how would you handle this ?? If you made it this far thank you.