I'll use work as an example but this happens in other situations too...
Been in my current workplace a good few years. Not management. Lovely colleagues, we all get on, the odd night out etc. But I am increasingly aware that I don't get past the surface work relationships and other people do. I hear afterwards that xy and z got together so the kids could play, or I was helping x move house, or we went round for dinner with z cos our dhs have met and seem to get on well. I am never involved or aware of these things till later! A few colleagues mentioned that they used to meet an ex colleague regularly for drinks...we all worked together but I didn't know they were meeting after she left!
Work is an example but even in other areas...eg a group of friends I have had for years since the kids were younger, we meet quite regularly...then I'll become aware that between meet ups they'll have done other things, like oh x mentioned something in her garden so I took her round some cuttings.
I don't feel excluded as such, but I'm at a loss as to how they seem to be able to take it to the next level so to speak, and i can't!
I'll be part of a conversation and someone will say something like oh How's your dad after his operation? I'll join in, but am inwardly thinking what op? How do I not know this?
I feel I don't have the same support network as a result, they all have good relationships with neighbours and colleagues, always have someone's dog to walk or plants to water while someone is on holiday and people who do that for them.
I feel it must be some conversational skill I'm lacking? Or vibe I'm giving off?
I feel well liked enough but just don't seem to make these connections?
Any advice would be really appreciated!