Please help, boyfriend cheated

[CirqueDeMorgue]

Just found out tonight and I feel suicidal, no friends are awake

So sorry to hear that op . Were you together long?

3 years so not forever

That’s still a long time. Sorry you are feeling so bad, do you actually feel suicidal? MN has some good links to mental health resources if you need to talk to someone.

I'm exhausted but in total shock, my heart is going like mad and my stomach hurts . I really don't know what to do with myself

Thank you for replying

Oh love. I’m so sorry. You just need to get through each hour as it comes. The pain will eventually lessen and you will feel happy again

I'm so sorry that he has done this - you will be in shock, it's a terrible thing to go through. Keep talking to us, this too shall pass

It is a shit thing to happen, not surprised you’re in shock. I take it you discovered it rather than him fessing up?

Samaritans number is here if you want to talk to someone in person:-

www.samaritans.org/how-we-can-help/if-youre-having-difficult-time/

Have you had any sleep? Do you think you'd be able to distract yourself with TV or something?

It's awful finding out something like this, I've been there too, sending you a big hug x

Thank you ❤

Have you had any sleep now? So sorry this has happened. Cup of tea with sugar in it, try and sleep if you’re not already, some kind of lighthearted thing on the TV. Once you’ve rested and it’s later on reach out to people. Also eat something when you wake up even if it’s just a slice of toast - you probably won’t feel like it but it’ll help you feel stronger.

I haven't slept, I just can't do anything at all. I know worse things happen but it just feels dark at the moment. I really appreciate you taking time to respond.

Have you spoken to any friends or family yet? Get some real life support and be very kind to yourself. Please tell me he’s your ex as well

He's definitely my ex, I'm just trying to stop worrying I'll miss him because he's not who I thought he was. I have spoken to people irl finally.

Oh OP i’m so sorry. How heartbreaking.

Is there any children involved? If not I’d cut
your losses. Of course you’ll be heartbroken, but your worth so much more than someone who will treat you this way.

How are you this morning?

I'm so, so sorry. I remember the hurt of it, it is so powerful it is almost physical. You will get through it I promise.

We have no children together. I'm just so worried, my mental health is not great as it is he's my main companion. It wasn't real though. Orlando, you're right, it physically hurts, I feel like a fucking idiot too.

No man is worth hurting yourself op, I've been there in the despair and heartbreak, I had a baby at the time, best thing is to throw yourself into work going out meeting people and craving a life for yourself outside of this relationship in time you'll heal without realising and meet someone else.

Sending hugs. Glad you've made contact with irl people.
Do you have coping strategies for your mental health? Eg exercise or see a friend or breathing or spending time in nature. Whatever worked for you before do it now and keep doing it to support yourself while you process this. Be kind to yourself. You aren't an idiot, he is x

So sorry op.

I would start writing to him (not to send it to him!) but getting your hurt and frustration and anger out on paper can really help to process how you feel. Say all the things you want to say to him on paper. It really helped me.

Hello OP, we are really sorry to hear you are feeling this way.

We hope you don't mind, but when these threads are flagged up to us we usually add a link to our Mental Health resources. You can also go to the Samaritans website or email them on [email protected].

Support from other Mumsnetters is great and we really hope you will be able to take some comfort from your fellow posters, but as other MNers will tell you, it's really a good idea to seek RL help and support as well.

We also like to remind everyone that, although we're awed daily by the astonishing support our members give each other through life's trickier twists and turns, we'd always caution anyone never to give more of themselves to another poster, emotionally or financially, than they can afford to spare.

Sorry you're feeling so low OP 🌸

Was this a one off or was there emotional involvement?

You aren’t an idiot OP. He is.

I’ve been where you are. I promise, it gets better. 💐

I'm so sorry, I've been where you are, that shock is just the worst feeling, I can still remember it now. BUT as impossible as it seems right now, and probably as useless as it feels right now, it does ease. I know that doesn't help you now and I actually hated hearing it at the time, but it really does. Try and just take it an hour at a time, keep talking and don't push yourself to be OK, let it happen naturally, accept it will be a bumpy road that unfortunately you have to travel, but know that it ends. Sending you a huge hug, I'm so so sorry x