Insane sexual chemistry - does it mean anything ?

[Rowan10]

Ok well I hope I don’t sound like an idiot but I feel I’m going a bit crazy. Not really sure what I want, but I was wondering if anyone else had experienced similar and had any advice.

Quick background, fast approaching 50, horribly acrimonious divorce 5 years ago. Ex left me with substantial mental scars. And some very cruel words (about how nice it was to have sex with someone who hadn’t had kids -the OW / no one would ever want to see me naked because of all my hideous stretch marks etc etc etc). To say I’m under confident would be an understatement. Couldn’t do and will never be interested /confident enough for OLD. Only had a couple of dates over the years with really nice men, very cute too, but I couldn’t bring myself to take things any further. Froze with one in the bedroom which I found really difficult. Luckily both have turned into really good mates. But pretty much accepted sex was over for me.

So basically I have become very content with being single, knackered in a stressful job, and looking after the kids and never expected that to change.

Until I met a man at work a few months back….
Oh my god, immediately the sexual chemistry was insane. It was literally 2 days before we slept together. Genuinely the sex is the most intense and wonderful thing I’ve ever experienced. I’m no longer ashamed of my body which is the most amazing thing for me. He’s 60 but has so much energy !!!

Now if that’s all it ever is that’s totally cool. I’m not even sure I have time for it to be anything else.

But I guess I’m confused. All my other relationships built into a nice sex life when I started to care about them, which I’ve always needed to properly enjoy sex. I like this man a lot but I wouldn’t say I cared for him yet. But I literally can’t get enough of him. I thought your libido was supposed to go when you’re peri menopausal but mine has been ignited !!!

It’s confusing the hell out of me, whether it’s just about the sex (which is ok if that’s all it is) or if it’s so intense to start with that means anything, even if it’s just more likely to fade out quickly. I suppose in lots of ways it doesn’t even matter….

We’ve not really discussed anything - too busy having fun 😂. But I don’t want to confuse sex with feelings, because I accept I’m a bit / very rusty at all this. The intensity has just shocked me so much I’m trying to make sense of it. I cannot stop thinking about him….

SecretOfChange - he’s divorced after a long marriage, as of 5 years ago. A little playing away on both sides from what I gather but very amicable. I think normally this would put me off because of my own experience of the ex cheating. But somehow it just doesn’t here.

In a bizarre way, despite the fact the sexual part is nicely out of control, the rest of me has never felt so in control ? Any feelings I have are firmly in my lady parts so it doesn’t feel as though I’m risking anything else. Maybe there’s an element of being older and wiser and not cynical exactly. Just no attempt to put a deeper meaning to it yet. I feel completely at home and it’s truly liberating !!

I had plenty of experience before getting married, but I think I’ve always adapted to what men wanted from me sexually. This time it’s about what I want. It’s an amazing feeling and god is he happy to indulge me 😂.

Thank you so much everyone and for the encouragement. I think I’ve just been so stunned by the strength of my lust that I’m permanently walking around like a horny 14 year old boy and it has confused the hell out of me !!

All sounds sensible, getting as much enjoyment out of this as you can, enjoy it for what it is, don't see it for, or worry too much about, what it isn't.

Sounds fab - enjoy 😀