How do you cope when your husband works away?

[Richtea2]

Hi,

I would like to know how you cope when your husband works away from home.

My husband applied for a new job the only catch is him being away from home staying in different hotels.
I just wonder in your experiences how it's affected your marriage.

I am just don't know how I will feel because this is a new thing for me but happy for him. I know he been out of work getting fed up.

It will be different from him working daily and just coming home in the evening. How do you handle sleeping alone at night?

Works well for us, keeps our marriage fresh. I work and have 3 kids, it’s just about getting into a routine.

My husband used to get contracts abroad, India, US, Switzerland and others. We missed each other but we managed. It didn't affect our marriage though. We face timed every day. It was OK (glad he's retired now though, and has more time here, especially for the children).

There were times it was hard, but he phoned several times a day and tried as hard as photo juggle for important events.
We went with him as often as possible.
I had fairly structured routines and we had some help.

Day to day was fine. We got on with things. We made time to talk at weekends and holidays.
The hard times were when someone was really unwell - an 11 year old with appendicitis needing surgery in the middle of the night and trying to sort out care and transport for the other children so I could stay at hospital.
I think having contingency plans takes much of the stress out of the ‘what ifs’.

Making sure finances are both equal and accessible is important.
Not allowing daddy to always be the one who buys or gives treats is also important - as is not buying into the ‘wait until daddy gets home’ school of discipline.

I think making sure you have adult company through work or friends is vital.

I didnt like it i like 2 nights a week going away but not we dont see him for 3 months away. I just feel a bit like im doing it all and he gets lots of full nights sleep

Mine worked away mon-fri for 5 years.
Looking back, it doesn't seem that long.
I loved it, the children were v young, 2 and the other born when he was working away, so they knew no different.
On the odd time he was home on a school morning it was bedlam, our routine seemed to go out the window.

I love it. Absence makes the heart grow fonder. It does us good to have a break..

I used to work away 10 weeks a year, spread out. DP loved it as he could indulge his full laddishness.

DP is away a few nights a year and it's great. Bed starfish. Eat food he doesn't like for dinner. Watch crappy films I love.

Tips?
Don't watch scary horror movies.
I have a spider catcher.
Indulge yourself.
Quick daily call after work is nice.
Sleep in the middle of the bed..

I would hate it.

It used to be the other way round for us and I would be away a couple of nights a week then bloody COVID hit! I bloody miss it.

Now DH is working away in the week and I miss him being here. Ironic really as I never had a problem going away.

It didn’t work out well for us tbh and it’s not something either of us would consider doing again.

Thank you all for telling me your experiences and giving me great advice.

Wow, the majority sound so positive, which makes me feel quite bad. It's been happening for over 17 years. When pregnant he said he would stop but hasn't, Monday to Thursday. He absolutely loves his job and wouldn't want to change. I had no help, parents etc, so couldn't even nip out with friends in the week. I do enjoy the time to myself but I would have liked choice sometimes. We have totally different parent techniques which doesnt help when he's home. We spend a lot of time arguing about that when he's home, which makes me wonder if it's worth it!