He's being ridiculous isn't he?

[Lostmyself86]

Just a post to show my husband he's being ridiculous. Here is the story.

My eldest child attends a club outside of school, between sessions I have back and forth messages with the club leader about my child, the messages are based around this. I've actually only met the leader twice and spoke to the leader once via zoom call, all to help my child. In the most recent messages, the leader has told me that he doesn't live too far from where I live when I gave my address for something to be posted to my child regarding this club my child attends, it was said in a passing conversation in text and the next messages after that almost a week later the message read 'it's always nice to hear from you'..my husband thinks he fancies me and is peeved. Tell him it's ridiculous as I don't know him and have barely even met the man..thanks

Thanks @Shoxfordian

When you say it's usually him messaging first do you mean things like "(virtual club) starts at 8 tonight"? Can you give examples? Hard to understand what he's needed to message you about from his side.

And when you say 70 messages, is that a few conversations that had 20 back and forth messages each, so only say three or four chats? Or lots of different occasions?

Yes, so, one chat has around 30 back and forth messages but not all from the same day and then it's different ones here and there. My child is struggling a little more than some of the others with the most recent work and there is work they do outside of the club so the leader is helping support outside of club times via phone, messages etc. The messages are a mix of reminders about the club, him messaging first asking me how things are going with the extra activity and reassuring that help is always on hand from him in anyway that may be useful, sometimes the messages are about how my child got on during one of the sessions and how my child did well, during the couple of times we could meet in person there was an email after in the evening to say it was a great session overall and was nice to meet up. That's the general context though, which for me seems like someone just being a caring friendly person who may be helping the other 15 parents in the same way for all I know.

It is flirty.

Sounds like the guy is really committed to this club and ensuring everything is good to me. If you’d not messaged a while then I think he’s just saying - it’s fine, message for anything - this fits with the rest of the background you’ve given.
I find it amazing that so many folk think it’s so inappropriate and basically agree with your hubby. I also think that you could handle it without his input - it’s messages about your child which he can clearly see. If there is one sentence possibly inappropriate in his head in 70 messages then still is what the issue, and why can’t he imagine you can manage yourself - you will interact with males in so many places - to have to be constantly aware of everything said in passing would be draining. Thankful I’m single as I couldn’t remember or abide by all things perfect as a wife. 😀

I think it probably is flirty, it's certainly not someone maintaining professional distance and I do think it's an odd thing to put in a text, although I might say it face to face. Where he's doing it just to you or does it to everyone is another thing.

None of it matters though.

Jealousy is not an attractive quality.
You’re discussing your DS, he’s being polite and friendly. If he hasn’t come on to you after 70 messages I think you’re fine and it’s just his personality

Thanks everyone

Ok with that follow up comment I'd say it's NBD

Thanks. Hopefully he will listen now lol