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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Sex everytime you see your weekend lover ?

28 replies

champagnetasting · 13/07/2021 20:10

My partner and I see each other each weekend. This suits us both as we are divorced parents in our forties with kids . We are busy, tired and often stressed with work, especially at the moment .
We fancy each other something rotten and get on like a house on fire . Our weekends are stress free and so relaxing.
We will meet this Friday and not see each other for two weeks as we are going away with our respective children , individually . We will then meet for a week on our own which we cannot wait for.
We spoke earlier and he said he just couldn't wait for us to lie in each other's arms on Friday night and just relax. He said that in case I was going to say anything... he didn't mean sex ( I wouldn't have said anything!) but I have to wonder why he wouldn't want to be sexually intimate especially as we won't see each other for a fortnight! Am I being massively ridiculous and overthinking his comments ? We are together a year and are really really happy ! Maybe I need some sense knocked into me Mumsnetters?!!

OP posts:
SilverRoe · 13/07/2021 20:12

Sounds like he meant he was looking forward to spending time with you not just looking forward to sex.

Nuuktown · 13/07/2021 20:14

Eh?
You’re really overthinking

Original poster
champagnetasting · 13/07/2021 20:14

Thanks for that reply. I think you're probably right ... bloody menopause hormones !!!

OP posts:
Inim · 13/07/2021 20:17

I think he was just worried that what he said might have came across that he was only after sex? Not that he doesn’t want sex.

CrouchEndTiger12 · 13/07/2021 20:17

He probably wanted to convey that he wanted to see you and spend time with you not just sleep with you.

Onthemaintrunkline · 13/07/2021 20:25

He sounds a very sensitive thoughtful bloke.

Maydaybankholiday · 13/07/2021 20:37

I'd reply and say I can't wait for that and also riding you like sea biscuit Wink

Kittykat93 · 13/07/2021 20:39

Christ poor bloke, if he'd have said he couldn't wait to shag you rotten you'd be moaning on here he only wants to see you for sex!

YeokensYegg · 13/07/2021 20:45

You're way over thinking a passing comment.
Why?

JustAnotherOldMan · 13/07/2021 21:22

Pretty sure that’s code for sex !

WimpoleHat · 13/07/2021 21:24

I think he meant that he’s really looking forward to spending time with you, as well as having sex. (Not that he doesn’t want to shag you!)

mayblossominapril · 13/07/2021 21:30

He’s trying to say he doesn’t just want you for the sex

Original poster
champagnetasting · 13/07/2021 22:19

Thanks everyone ! He is an absolute darling . I think I'm so used to an abusive man. I don't know my head from my ass!

OP posts:
me4real · 13/07/2021 22:23

He said that in case I was going to say anything... he didn't mean sex ( I wouldn't have said anything!) but I have to wonder why he wouldn't want to be sexually intimate especially as we won't see each other for a fortnight!

Maybe he doesn't feel up to it (which is fine, no one's always in the mood, got the energy etc.)

But more likely, judging by the 'before you say anything' bit, he didn't want you to feel pressured if you happened to not be in the mood on the day, or for you to think he's only ever seeing you just for sex or anything.

Original poster
champagnetasting · 13/07/2021 22:23

@Onthemaintrunkline

He sounds a very sensitive thoughtful bloke.
He really is ! I'm not used to this !
OP posts:
Knackeredmommy · 13/07/2021 22:23

Sounds like he was reassuring you he doesn't just want to have sex with you, he's looking forward to the intimacy. How lovely Smile

Pinknoise · 13/07/2021 22:24

Well do you usually have sex when you see him on the weekend?

Original poster
champagnetasting · 13/07/2021 22:26

Yes we have sex twice a day/ night on each day we are together . As an average .

OP posts:
Original poster
champagnetasting · 13/07/2021 22:27

He is a sensitive soul who is going through a hard time in fairness

OP posts:
OMGISeeTheWayYouShine · 13/07/2021 22:29

He sounds marvellous. I'd marry him, if I were you. Enjoy.

me4real · 13/07/2021 22:31

Aww. If he does happen to not be very in the mood, try not to be openly annoyed or anything of course, or take it personally inwardly. Soon or later one of you is going to not be up to it I expect, cos you're only human. Smile

me4real · 13/07/2021 22:32

a sensitive soul who is going through a hard time in fairness

@champagnetasting What do you mean by this?

Original poster
champagnetasting · 13/07/2021 22:33

@OMGISeeTheWayYouShine

He sounds marvellous. I'd marry him, if I were you. Enjoy.
Oh gosh ! The thoughts of marrying again !! Jesus I can't see it ! I have my children with me in a lovely harmonious aggressive free , hassle free and calm environment and we all love it ! Maybe when my children are educated and flee the nest but no man will rock that boat, as lovely as he is ! They love him and I'm mad about his but our lives with our children are for all intents and purposes separate and that'll do for now, but thanks 😊
OP posts:
Original poster
champagnetasting · 13/07/2021 22:34

@me4real

a sensitive soul who is going through a hard time in fairness

@champagnetasting What do you mean by this?

He is going a really hard time at work and is very anxious . Think low level bullying .
OP posts:
me4real · 13/07/2021 22:37

Ok. Just keep an eye out for any red flags and don't be afraid to bin if you see them.

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