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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Sex everytime you see your weekend lover ?

28 replies

champagnetasting · 13/07/2021 20:10

My partner and I see each other each weekend. This suits us both as we are divorced parents in our forties with kids . We are busy, tired and often stressed with work, especially at the moment .
We fancy each other something rotten and get on like a house on fire . Our weekends are stress free and so relaxing.
We will meet this Friday and not see each other for two weeks as we are going away with our respective children , individually . We will then meet for a week on our own which we cannot wait for.
We spoke earlier and he said he just couldn't wait for us to lie in each other's arms on Friday night and just relax. He said that in case I was going to say anything... he didn't mean sex ( I wouldn't have said anything!) but I have to wonder why he wouldn't want to be sexually intimate especially as we won't see each other for a fortnight! Am I being massively ridiculous and overthinking his comments ? We are together a year and are really really happy ! Maybe I need some sense knocked into me Mumsnetters?!!

OP posts:
champagnetasting · 13/07/2021 22:38

@me4real

Ok. Just keep an eye out for any red flags and don't be afraid to bin if you see them.
Why do you say that ? Out of interest? Thanks
OP posts:
ramarama · 13/07/2021 22:50

Ha. I'm also in a v similar relationship. Blissfully lovely (because it's just on weekends)

I'm sure he just meant to say he wasn't JUST looking forward to sex, but also that he's keen to just relax. Prob concerned about coming across badly in a text

me4real · 13/07/2021 22:58

Why do you say that ? Out of interest? Thanks

In case he has some personality traits which are causing these problems he's having with other people, or how he responds to stress.

If it becomes clear he's hard work, don't be afraid to end it (at least if it carries on for a long period of time, or arises again in other times/situations, rather than being a one-off due too an unlucky work situation.)

I mean, if he has a period of mental ill health and gets treatment and improves, that's one thing. But if it all becomes a bit hard going, don't stick with him out of feeling sorry for him. Women have lost decades that way.

I have a mental health disability so I'm not saying people with mental health issues aren't ok to be in a relationship with. It depends how he deals with it, whether the level of intensity of it persists, and how your life becomes.

But these are just things to monitor at this stage. x

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