How long have you been single?

[WillowGrand]

As in no relationship (dating doesn’t count!), and have you given up?

I’ve been single 6 years, have no desperate need for a man in my life fully but I feel sad at the moment that I don’t think I’ll have anyone to go on fun dates/weekends away/ care about me.

3 kids 11 and under, no meaningful input from ex and barely any consistent childcare that I don’t use for work (and I don’t want to take more time from kids). So feeling like I may as well accept this for the next 10 years.

Generally I’m fine, it’s not a huge gap in my life, but think as a close male friend (I like a dickhead slept with), is now dating and having fun I just feel a bit jealous and sad, not because of him really, just because men have it so much fucking easier in general to make time for themselves. Wholly unfair of me but there you go!

So if you’re long term single are you still holding out any hope?

2 years. I have so many plans for the future that don’t make room for anybody else so I don’t feel like anything is “missing”. Also I really like my alone time to recharge and I don’t miss the ups and downs and the turmoil that sometimes comes with dating. I feel much more “myself” and so much happier and more stable alone.

The only time I feel like I’m missing out is when it would be nice to have a travel companion, but I’ve travelled with friends and my sister in the past and it has been great.

I think that might be what I am missing, not another person but some time.

In reality if I had time now I’d be at the gym/riding/travelling alone/live music/reading.

Maybe I’m jealous of the time not the man!

All my life, 35 years.

I would like to be (try/to know what it’s like) to be in a relationship.

But i am asexual, so chances are slim.
I try not to think about it.
I am sad about it and sometimes i get really jealous about ”normal people”.

3 years. Can't see it changing tbh. Am not bothered but also sad at the same time if that makes any sense.

Makes total sense because logically I really don’t want anyone in my life. But sad that I don’t.

Fucking hormones.

15 years is the longest for me. This time around it’s been 6 yrs so far.

I’ve given up as I’m 50 and have medical issues. I’m trying to accept it but I have bad days where I miss having companionship

Coming up for ten years since my OH passed away. I just accepted being alone until a few months ago when someone started acting really weird with me and my friend suggested that he was trying to flirt with me but he was the same each time I had reason to see him and then the penny eventually dropped he was flirting but I didn't respond, just didn't know how. Since then it has made wonder if ever I might meet someone. I'm not sure what I want though, I do know that I don't want marriage or living with someone or even if I want to fall in love.

5 years, 4 kids 10 and under, absent father so not able to date as don’t have any family support either and I’m with them every day. (No dating or intimacy at all in that time and I’m “only” 32, feel like my life is over in some ways)

Five years. I miss having someone to do things with spontaneously. DD doesn't want to go on holiday with me this year (fair enough, she is now 18) and I don't feel there's anyone else I can spend lots of intense time with other than one friend who can't afford a holiday. Also I have some medical issues, not that massively impact on me at the mo, but I would like to have someone who I knew would take me for appointments when I need it. I'd be open to meeting someone, but not online, and I never really go anywhere anymore so that's not going to be easy!

5 years... I've tried OLD... but I have no luck, just always attract the wrong ones, or they see me as good enough to sleep with and nothing else.
While my life is busy, I really miss that closeness to another person. Someone who can give me a hug when the moods a bit low... you know the stuff.

I am beginning to believe I'm just not destined to be in a relationship. And as awful as this sounds I'm considering getting the kids to 18 and then just disappearing

@pinkpixie83 I know the feeling of being good enough for a shag but not good enough for a relationship, I’ve been told I have too many kids and am too busy so haven’t a hope by more than one person

Don’t disappear though, unless you mean on a plane, which I will be doing!

About 4 years.

I'm much happier since I left my exh - nothing worse than being married to someone you don't like! but after a few years of casual dating and not finding a real connection I'm yearning for someone special in my life to love.

I don't have any children, so that doesn't help (I get the grass isn't always greener) and although I love time on my own I'm really sad I don't have anyone to watch the Euros final with (all my friends are having low-key evenings with their families at home) and after a week of several pieces of bad news I'm feeling utterly alone.

I know I'll bounce back but it is sad I haven't met a lovely guy.

15 years.

Met someone who was perfect but was too broken when we first met.

I saw him yesterday in fact. He is still very happy with the lovely lady he met after me.

I am thrilled for them. Of course I am. But I kick myself too.

I can’t see me meeting anyone else. Wrong side of 50, pig in knickers and too many responsibilities with my folks.

But it is nice to dream that it’ll happen one day. 🙂

Single doesn't mean there's something missing, or that you have or do not have hope for a relationship. I'll have a relationship if one comes along. It'd be nice. But it's nice not doing, too.

I view it in the same vein as going to the cinema. I've not been for ages (even before lockdown)

• Been to the cinema lately?
• No
• Have you given up hope of going to the cinema?
• Er...

@pinkpixie83 @WillowGrand it’s not that you’re “good enough to shag but not much else” this is the result of easily available porn that teaches men that women are all easy, “up for it” nymphomaniacs who are dying for a single chance on their pathetic cocks.

The art of romance seems long-gone these days!

11 years. I gave up on men in my 40s because I kept attracting selfish and abusive men, even as friends. To be honest, since going through menopause and losing my rose-tinted hormone goggles, I don't think I like men very much.

14 years. I did have one relationship before covid and it was fun but i always knew it was not going to last. I'm 51 now, I have given up, or accepted it.

I actually feel annoyed with myself that I tried in my 40s to meet somebody. I spent a fortune on babysitters. If only I'd saved that money. I could have kitchen extension now.

It's been 8 blissful years for me. I don't intend to ever have a committed relationship again. Non-exclusive FWB all the way! I get plenty of sex with various people and none of the boredom or irritation of having to see too much of someone.

I did dabble with dating about 5 years ago. Quickly realised it was really really not worth the hassle for me.

I actually feel annoyed with myself that I tried in my 40s to meet somebody. I spent a fortune on babysitters. If only I'd saved that money. I could have kitchen extension now.

Sorry but . I do feel of have a better kitchen if there were two wages coming into the house.

I'm not actually sure I want sex (I'm just over 50). I just want someone to do stuff with. I had relationships with women in my 20s, then it was mostly men since then, but I'm thinking going back to women might be better.

8 years since my husband died. I know that I will never find anyone like him again and have no desire to to date or be with an also ran.

20 years! It makes me really sad, I have a lot to offer. I wouldn't say I've given up as such, but I have lost the confidence to actively look. After lots of knock backs over a long time I've decided there must be something wrong with me.

Until about 9 months ago I'd been single for 13 years. Frankly I am happy living on my own. I have some very good friends & an active social life & I didn't feel that I needed sex, a man or anything else. Cut a long story short, I met this man & rediscovered sex. #BornAgainVirgin

Although am happy living on my own, I think that I'd like to have a man on the scene as well

13 years.
I’m fine as I am, content, and lots of friends, family, and a job. If I met someone lovely, I’d go for it, but I’m not looking. If it stays like this forever, I’m happy with that. 1st husband was a cheater, 2nd was abusive. Quite frankly, I’m glad to be alive and well!
Mind you, I miss a nice cuddle sometimes.

32 years. I've only had one 3 year relationship in my early 20s. I'm 57.

I can swing either way. That one 3 year thing was with a woman. I dated men for a bit, but would never do that again. As a gender they are just too messed up - I don't know if males are conditioned to be how they are or what happened to them, but I have no interest in a romantic relationship with one (the risk outweighs any reward).

It would be very needle in a haystack to find a good man (because I know they exist, but they are few and far between).

If I do date again, it would only be with women (just like the above poster!).

Meanwhile, I enjoy my life. There are so many needs and opportunities to help and to be of service to others.

15 years here too.

I'm a lone parent without supportso dating has been off the table. Now dc is a teenager and I'm late 30's but I'm in no hurry.

I do miss sex, but have a disability now that will complicate matters slightly so suspect meeting someone will be difficult if/when the time comes.