I'm not ready to have sex on date 3,what do I do?

[shopoholiicc]

I have had 2 dates no with someone and we had a good time but I'm starting to feel the pressure to sleep with her.
Date 2 was on Thursday and we went for drinks and she kept talking about booking into a hotel.
Then saying we are on date 3 next time ..you know what that means.

I've never been the type who can just sleep with someone (no judgement for those who can)
I've only been speaking to her 3 weeks.
I'm seeing her again next Sunday.
She just keeps talking about how good the sex will be and how she cant wait till I'm in her bed

Am I being unreasonable here to tell her I'm not ready?
And I want to wait?
She's making me nervous now.

Do not be pressured by her. Go at your pace and tell her.

Just tell her you're not ready yet,if she's into you for you not just sex she'll wait.

Ewww, just dump and block.

That would really put me off. She's trying to pressure you into doing something. I'm guessing you haven't reciprocated the sex talk when she's brought it up? It might be different if both of you were clearly on board and wanting it to happen but if you've not been enthusiastic and she's still going on about it then it's pretty gross.

I would say plain and simple that you're not ready yet and her repose would probably determine the future of the relationship.

Don't ignore this, it could be a sign of controlling and manipulating behaviour to come.

I wouldn't be having a third date with someone who is pressuring me into sex and making me feel nervous.

It's best to be honest and tell her that isn't your way and you'd prefer to take things slower. If she isn't happy to wait then best to let her go and find someone who'll be more your cup of tea. I would find that off putting too.

@Mumteedum

It's best to be honest and tell her that isn't your way and you'd prefer to take things slower. If she isn't happy to wait then best to let her go and find someone who'll be more your cup of tea. I would find that off putting too.

This.

throw this fish back in the river

Jeez she sounds way too pushy for my liking.

Ugh. Sexual predator alert. Dump and run.

There’s no law stating you have to have sex on the third date. Just say no Thankyou.

Don't go on the third date. Putting pressure on for sex is never acceptable.

I agree with others - it’s one thing if you’re flirting back and continuing the sexual talk; but if she’s continually pushing when you’re nervous and uncomfortable that’s a very bad sign.

Nothing wrong with having sex early, but both people have to be on board; and there’s nothing wrong with wanting to wait for a better emotional connection. Sounds like you may be incompatible unfortunately.

She sounds creepy tbh. Why is she even talking about sex in the first two dates? Bit full on.

You don't sound compatable op. If you do see her again then tell her straight that you dont sleep with people that soon into dating. That you don't know her well enough yet.

If she tries to pressure you further, ditch.

That being said, you might be wise to manage her expectations via message before hand. You know, so she doesn't have to wax ect xD

Creepy. Why would you go on a third date with someone who doesn’t respect your boundaries?

She may also be feeling the pressure and think this is what is expected of her.

Have a conversation. Her response will tell you what you need to know.

She sounds really off putting. I wouldn't like that at all and it would put me off continuing the relationship tbh.

If the rest of the date was good and you like her, I'd try honesty.

Hi Mandy, looking forward to seeing you on Thursday but I want to be honest with you - I'm not ready to have sex and the constant conversation about when it will happen is making me feel uncomfortable. If you're still happy to meet knowing that, I'd be really happy to see you

Or something like that

Just tell her! I don't see an issue here. Just say you don't jump into bed that quickly and you understand if she is not oK with that but you don't want to be put under pressure.

There would be no third date for me. Ugh.

I would not be going on that date. There is nothing wrong with sexual chat and anticipation if you're both on the same page but this is horrible.

You say no.

Call me old-fashioned but as my mother used to say “if she’s worth it, she’ll wait” still good advice, I think.

I'd end it now if she's not taking the hint that you're not ready if you're not reciprocating her messages!

@Gazelda

I wouldn't be having a third date with someone who is pressuring me into sex and making me feel nervous.

This, don’t bother with another date.

@FridayNightByCandlelight

She may also be feeling the pressure and think this is what is expected of her.

Have a conversation. Her response will tell you what you need to know.

Bollocks.

It's not acceptable for anybody, male or female, to demand sex on a certain date (especially not after what could easily have been after less than 6 hours of meeting them). It's revolting, entitled and doesn't bode well for consent.

wouldn't be surprised if this is a reverse but the ewwwwww dump and block applies in either case