I'm not ready to have sex on date 3,what do I do?

[shopoholiicc]

I have had 2 dates no with someone and we had a good time but I'm starting to feel the pressure to sleep with her.
Date 2 was on Thursday and we went for drinks and she kept talking about booking into a hotel.
Then saying we are on date 3 next time ..you know what that means.

I've never been the type who can just sleep with someone (no judgement for those who can)
I've only been speaking to her 3 weeks.
I'm seeing her again next Sunday.
She just keeps talking about how good the sex will be and how she cant wait till I'm in her bed

Am I being unreasonable here to tell her I'm not ready?
And I want to wait?
She's making me nervous now.

Deviant, sex pest she is.

Of course no one would pressure for sex but I've known women who were uncertain themselves make a big deal about it in advance because they feel it was expected. If the OP hasn't told her that she doesn't feel ready for sex on date 3, how would she know?

Massive red flag

Just tell heer " I'm not ready to take the relationship into sex yet. so please don't pressure me".

If she won't accept that with good grace, then it was never going to work out anyway.

@FridayNightByCandlelight

Of course no one would pressure for sex but I've known women who were uncertain themselves make a big deal about it in advance because they feel it was expected. If the OP hasn't told her that she doesn't feel ready for sex on date 3, how would she know?

Bullshit. If this post was about a man there's no way you'd respond like that. She should have taken the hint when op hasn't openly discussed sex even though it's being brought up regularly. No normal person suggests booking hotels on date 3 if it hasn't been discussed properly or the mood hasn't take the date in that direction.

I wouldn't be having a third date. She sounds pushing, demanding and slightly creepy.

You should never do something you're not comfortable with. If you like her, say you're not ready yet. Mind you, she doesn't sound very perceptive if she can't see you're not reciprocating. Think that would put me off in itself.

Then saying we are on date 3 next time ..you know what that means.

Urgh, that actually sounds quite sinister! That would put me off even if I did want to shag them. I'd sit dates 3 onwards out, personally.

I really don't understand why there seems to have developed a 'rule' about the third date? That's ridiculous, arbitrary, and the least sexy and romantic thing ever.

It's crazy that you now appear to feel bad, or at least hesitant, that you don't want to have sex with this person who is a virtual stranger still. Their pressuring would put me off enough to not have the 3rd date and to move on.

But if you don't want to walk away yet, be honest and ask them to stop with the sex talk, it's way too soon for you. If they don't respect that then you know they aren't worth spending any more time with.

I didnt shag my two most recent partners til about three months in, and if I was a lesbian or bi that wouldn't be any different.

Don't like her attitude one bit.

@Sunny4876

Just tell her you're not ready yet,if she's into you for you not just sex she'll wait.

That.

Yuck.

I'm the same as you, I like to feel a connection with someone before I have sex with them.

Dump and move on.

Block and next !!!! Uuurrggghh

Then don’t. I would find it off putting that she just assumes that you will, just because it’s the third date. Be honest with her, if she really likes you she will understand how you feel, and if she doesn’t, then you’re better off without her.

It sounds as though you're mismatched.

Have sex when you want to, when you're ready, when it feels right to you. If anybody in the world ever makes you feel like this is not the exact right thing to do, get away from them. They are, at best, being horribly insensitive about the most sensitive thing.

Just say " l don't agree to this third date crap, so if this is a problem for you then you need to find someone else" Simple.

Oh no no no

You shouldn’t be pressured like this. She’s not a keeper.

Release her back into the sea, there are plenty more to catch.

She sounds dreadful. Who puts their date under this kind of pressure and expectation?

She hasn't considered whether or not you actually want to have sex - I'd dump her on that basis.

I wouldn’t write her off just yet, but her reaction to when you tell her you are not feeling ready just yet will tell you everything you need to know. If she’s worth keeping she’ll be understanding and kind, if she’s stroppy about it then you’re better off without her.