Moved to another country to be with my boyfriend...

[Unknown12341]

Hi there! To cut a long story short. I'm 27 and i began talking to my boyfriend online around 2 years ago. We met up about 5 times before moving in together 6 months ago. I moved 400 miles away, and it was a lot. I'm extremely close with my family and it was difficult leaving them, but i believed it was the best choice. I even managed to get a job a week ago, and after my first week I'm extremely enjoying it.

the issue is, my boyfriend is really sarcastic, which at the beginning was funny, and made me laugh. but recently it's got out of control. if we're around other people, he'll deliberately bring up embarrassing stories e.g. drunk stories or silly things i've said. Which i know sounds stupid, but he knows how much it hurts me sometimes. If we're at home he'll constantly make jokes about me, which for the most part i can laugh at. I really dont take things too seriously. but the fact that i'm actually hurting from things he've said, is new to me. if that makes sense. because i'm not usually like that.

even silly things. as i started work this week, i was working 5 days straight. I'm currently off for two days and i mentioned that i wanted to have a little drink just to relax, but this is an issue because he doesn't drink, so i'm 'not allowed'

i'm sorry if it seems like rambling. It's just so difficult moving 400 miles away from home and not knowing anyone besides my partner. I just don't know what to do. I'm so happy with my new job, haven't felt this comfortable in a new work environment before, but i'm so unhappy at 'home', i just don't' know what to do.

Thank you for any advice. I know it's a bit unorganised but i'm just upset

Thanks :)

Thank you for any advice
I see that you have two positive options.
1 move back home as you have good relationships there
2 move out, keep your job and make a new life for yourself.
I hope you wont do a 3rd option which would be to stay andvhopeche changes because I'm telling you now, he wont. It will get worse. You do not need to be a clairvoyant to see that.

Go home. You’ll only be embarrassed for a little while, I promise you. You have not failed. Good luck.

Sorry to say this but why did you move 400 miles to be with him when you’d only met him five times? That’s just mind-boggling. If you were my daughter I would have seriously counselled against this.
You need to leave as he sounds very nasty.

It's time to move 400 miles again

Knowing someone online is very different from living with them 24/7. This kind of relationship rarely works out. Go back home.

Leave, get out and don’t look back ...as soon as you can! This will get worse for sure

Move back.

Everyone makes mistakes. Go home, learn from it, forgive yourself … and get on with your life

Leave him. Either go home or find a flat share and block him. Either way this can be an adventure you look back on in 20 years. But if you stay and try to fix it (you can’t, he’s an arsehole) you can ruin your life.

My old nan used to say fools rush in where angels fear to tread and I think this applies here. You met 5 times where he will have been on his best behaviour. Then you moved 400 miles to live with a stranger and now you see him in all his glory.

We all muck up OP. Come home and put it down to life's rich tapestry.

I did similar a few years ago and fortunately the risk worked for me but it sounds like it hasn't worked for you. Get yourself out of there and don't look back, he isn't a nice person!

Run.

the fact that i'm actually hurting from things he've said, is new to me. if that makes sense. because i'm not usually like that
It makes total sense. So far you've been with decent people who've treated you normally. This time, as it was long-distance, you weren't able to work out that this guy was a nasty shit. But you've worked it out pretty quickly now. Go before he messes with your head any further and you lose this good sense of judgement.

Would you have stayed in this country/job if you'd never met him?

We met up about 5 times before moving in together 6 months ago.

It was too soon.

Takes a couple of years of steady/regular meetings to know someone - discovered this myself and thankfully hadn't moved in or moved for him.

Move back home.