Should I contact him again?

[Cheeseandtomato15]

Brief history. Been in touch with an old flame for a while. He’s recently become single. We met up about a month ago but haven’t since. It’s me who usually initiates texts but he always replies very quickly. I’ve suggested meeting up again and he says he’d like to but noting had been arranged. Have talked on the phone and we both said we still felt a connection all this time (20 years). He said I’d always been in his thoughts.
Not heard from him for 2 weeks now and not sure what to do. Should I contact him and suggest meeting again or just let him go?

Let him go. He’s only recently single and is messing you about.

Let him go. He is not interested.

Don’t contact him, if he wanted to see you again he would have said. Let this one go.

Meant to add he really was the love of my life. I thought I might feel differently when I saw him after so long, but all the feelings were still there. I don’t really want to give up if there might be a chance to give things a go..Also don’t want to hound him!

Leave it up to him to contact you, you've done your bit.

You could send him one message to see about getting a date to meet in the diary and see how he responds. My guess is that he isn’t interested otherwise he would have contacted you in the last fortnight and arranged to meet.

I’d normally say he’s not interested too but it’s strange how he always replies to messages so quickly. And why say he still felt the connection?

One last message and then leave it.

People can say anything

If someone likes you they will show it, clearly and in ways where you don't have to ask questions about it. Let him chase you

@Cheeseandtomato15

I’d normally say he’s not interested too but it’s strange how he always replies to messages so quickly. And why say he still felt the connection?

People can say anything. The fact is he is recently out of a relationship. He probably is still getting over this right now and is not looking for anything. Just step away and let him come to you if he wants to. Dont read into anything. Look at the action in front of you not words.

How did you reconnect?
What's his life like?

Nah he is a time waster. At best he will annoy you to death with his communication style. It's the most frustrating thing to date someone who never takes the initiative. I cant do it even though I'm pretty good at taking charge. Friendships, relationships ect... should feel like everyone is making equal effort.

Don’t contact him. If he’s interested he’ll contact you

If he had been interested he would have made sure to see you in the last month. He's not interested.

Why did you finish?

This happened to me before. He was the love of my life, he popped back up and got my hopes up. Then he vanished shortly afterwards. Broke my heart again, I was devastated for a long time after that.

I think if he was really interested he would've contacted you again by now. I would leave it and just assume he's moved on.

@sunnyzweibrucken very similar! So sorry your heart was broken again 😢
We’ve been in touch sporadically for years by email - just trivial stuff and happy birthday messages really. But started communicating more frequently then moved to text a few months ago.

Some men or people will say what they think you want to hear but actions speak louder than words. Why was it you split the first time? If it was anything to do with his personality then people don't change.

OP when someone comes out of a relationship, they feel down about themselves. If the other person ended it, they send to have low self esteem and feel very hurt. In order to feel better about themselves, they get into another relationship - this is called a rebound. They want attention, they want to feel better about themselves and they don't care much how they do that.

Do you now see what's going on here? He's not chasing you, you are chasing him. He's enjoying the attention, it's feeding his ego. It's you doing all the running here, what message is he giving you?

What will you regret more, texting again and not getting anywhere, or trying once more and getting a definitive answer?

Well, you’ve got nothing to lose. At least then you will know either way and can stop thinking about it all the time.

Personally I hate being in limbo so I’d rather pursue things to the death!

It doesn’t look great tho, I am sorry to say. Must be hard - sending you best wishes….

Sorry but he's just not into you. If he was you would know about it. I'd move on and not torture yourself, however hard.

It sucks, I know!

Are you sure he is actually single?

Just leave it

Yes take charge of the situation, contact him and invite him to something (a dinner, coffee, whatever). His response will tell you everything. If you leave it, you will keep the door open for this flirtationship to go on for ages and you would never completely move on. As they say, hope is a dangerous thing.