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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Am I being completely crazy?

42 replies

WhereTheFuck · 01/07/2021 22:26

My H left me and our toddler DD at the beginning of May for the woman I found out he had been having an affair with since before Christmas. I went through a phase of intense grief and shock, just wanting him back etc, but have come out the other side and feel calmer now. One of the delightful things I found out from H when he left was that he had gradually been losing desire for me since our wedding 5 years ago. So that was nice..left me feeling very shaken and pretty shit about myself.

One of the reasons I am feeling better is because I have met a guy on Tinder. We started talking at the end of May and met up yesterday for the first time. I should add at this point that we met in a hotel because I really wanted to have sex with him.. it wasn't the case that he wanted sex and I 'succumbed'.

Now my body is not terrible, but I'm almost 42, have stretch marks, wobbly bits and in particular my stomach is horrible after having DD by emergency C section 2 years ago. This new guy has always been so complimentary, telling me how beautiful I am etc but I was nervous to meet him in real life in case he was put off by my body.

FAR FROM IT. He was so complimentary, seemed genuinely delighted at the sight of my body and was very turned on. We had the most amazing sex and he just paid so much attention to me and to every part of my body. It was genuinely a new experience for me. We are meeting again on Monday.
I have childcare for DD (a lovely nanny whom she adores- we are not in UK so it's affordable) but am meeting new guy during the day, not leaving DD overnight or anything. No plans for new guy to meet DD of course. New guy and I are both teachers and we have both just broken up for the holidays, so I'm basically planning a summer of fun... I'm just posting because I want to know if this is a crazy thing to be doing? I mean, it seems to be really positive to me, but am I deluding myself somehow?

OP posts:
WhereTheFuck · 01/07/2021 22:32

In fact, thinking about it, H never used the word 'beautiful' to describe me.

OP posts:
Blahblahblah40 · 01/07/2021 22:35

Fill your boots I say…

Sorryimsilly333 · 01/07/2021 22:39

Enjoy 😁

Rainydayss · 01/07/2021 22:41

Enjoy it. I was in a similar situation, it made me realise how much I missed out on with my ex DH.
You very much deserve to have a man who thinks you're wonderful

Craftycorvid · 01/07/2021 22:41

Heavens, no, of course it’s not crazy! Have fun and shag him to a standstill. It may be the start of something long-term or a memorable and highly enjoyable fling. Either way, crack on!

Recessed · 01/07/2021 22:42

Enjoy it for what it is! Just be careful not to get too emotionally involved as I imagine you're still quite vulnerable.

WantingToWonder · 01/07/2021 22:42

Enjoy your summer holidays. Be safe, do not introduce your daughter and fill your boots.

Lucky you.

User1357 · 01/07/2021 22:44

Absolutely go for it! Have fun.

WhereTheFuck · 01/07/2021 22:46

Oh God really? I was expecting everyone to come on and say I was being crazy and ridiculous/selfish/not considering DD etc..

OP posts:
Onthedunes · 01/07/2021 22:49

Have a good summer.

x

LadyLolaRuben · 01/07/2021 22:51

What lovely story. Enjoy, be safe and try to not get emotionally invested. If its fun what a great summer and two fingers to your ex. If it turns into something more that's fantastic. Dont introduce him to your daughter for a long long time

bigbaggyeyes · 01/07/2021 22:52

Abso fuckin' lutley go for it!

scoobydoo1971 · 01/07/2021 22:53

Have lots of fun, but just a minor check-up of him maybe required if he only wants day time meet ups...he may not be single. Proceed with caution is you are not feeling 100% ok with what happened in the past.

WhereTheFuck · 01/07/2021 22:59

Ah no, @scoobydoo1971, it's not that he only wants daytime meet ups, it's me. I don't really like leaving DD in the evenings very often. I'll probably meet him for the odd evening but it's much easier during the day because my nanny is working anyway (full time contract so I have to pay her over the summer holidays even though I am not working).

OP posts:
WhereTheFuck · 01/07/2021 23:00

Sorry, posted too soon. He is definitely single. We talk on the phone at all times of the day and night, he has video chatted me from his home at various times. No worries there.

OP posts:
feliciabirthgiver · 01/07/2021 23:03

Permission from Mumsnet granted!

parkerpop · 01/07/2021 23:03

Not crazy at all! Sounds like just what you need!

Yellowhighheels · 01/07/2021 23:05

Waheyyy! Have fun

RainbowMumzy · 01/07/2021 23:06

Go for it. Get yours!

championthewonderhorse70 · 01/07/2021 23:43

Having a banging summer Halo

WhereTheFuck · 01/07/2021 23:44

Loving all these supportive replies, thanks so much!

OP posts:
MorriseysGladioli · 01/07/2021 23:49

Have the most delicious summer. Smile

RAOK · 01/07/2021 23:53

Go for it!

AGirlCalledJohnny · 01/07/2021 23:59

@Blahblahblah40

Fill your boots I say…
👆🏻👆🏻👆🏻
SengaMac · 02/07/2021 00:06

I'm glad things turned out so well. Smile