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Original poster

Is your gut always right?

42 replies

IsItTooEarlyForAGin · 01/07/2021 17:17

So I've been with my partner for 10 years, we have a 6 yo DD together and we have a brilliant relationship.
Lately though my gut is telling me he's up to something, I have zero proof and no reason not to trust him so I'm not sure where this feelings come from. I spoke to my sister who said your gut is always right and to listen to it but I've no proof of anything.
I sound crazy and I promise I'm not but I can't shake this feeling I've got.
Has anyone's gut feeling ever been wrong?

OP posts:
billy1966 · 01/07/2021 17:37

Never.

Sometimes I have heard my gut and dismissed it but I have always gone back to the original feeling and acknowledged that my gut was right, about a person or a situation.

Don't ignore it.

Investigate it to see what is going on because most likely something is, but it may not be exactly what you think.

Flowers
Original poster
IsItTooEarlyForAGin · 01/07/2021 17:44

Thanks for replying.
I feel bad for even thinking it, how would I investigate it? I could check his phone but don't feel like I should as I've literally nothing to go on except a feeling

OP posts:
Blabla81 · 01/07/2021 17:44

My gut has never been wrong.

NorthernDramaLlama · 01/07/2021 17:47

If your gut is telling you something is wrong, then something is generally wrong. It might not be what you think it is, but there is always a reason.

Geanna2 · 01/07/2021 17:47

All of the occasions I've ignored my gut I regretted it? Your subconscious mind is picking up signals and trying to tell you something. The starting point will be having some idea of what you actually suspect he may be up to. What is it that's suddenly made you feel this way! Has his behaviour changed?

Windmillwhirl · 01/07/2021 17:51

What has caused the feeling?Take time to see if there is a connection to a comment, a look, a behaviour?

I don't know if mine has always been right to be honest, butvtge gut feeling always came after noting something, however small.

Thinkingmustbe · 01/07/2021 17:53

@Geanna2

All of the occasions I've ignored my gut I regretted it? Your subconscious mind is picking up signals and trying to tell you something. The starting point will be having some idea of what you actually suspect he may be up to. What is it that's suddenly made you feel this way! Has his behaviour changed?
Same here about regretting it. I was going to say exactly the same thing about subconscious too. OP, people will say it's wrong to snoop, but if this is the first time you've felt this in your relationship, I would advise you to have a look on his phone, if just to put your mind at rest. You won't be able to do this with a quick glance though.
suggestionsplease1 · 01/07/2021 18:00

I think it depends on what's normal for the person. I'm sure you get people who are more prone to suspicion and jealousy and frequently cite having gut feelings.... that are actually wrong but I doubt they'd be writing here about that.

I imagine you could also have gut feelings that something is up, but not be sure about what direction the 'something's up' is actually taking, and attribute it wrongly.

I think I've only had one occasion in my life where I had a real gut feeling about something and it turned out broadly right.

Original poster
IsItTooEarlyForAGin · 01/07/2021 18:03

@Thinkingmustbe I've never had this feeling in my relationship before. We both know the codes to each other's phones although none of us look at each other's phones.
My gut feeling is someone else, no idea why but I've had this feeling for a few weeks now. I can't pinpoint anything exact that's triggered it, his behaviour hasn't really changed, he goes for a drink with a friend after work more often but it's not a really regular thing, maybe a few times a month. I've never met this friend although he's getting married later this year and I've been invited to the wedding.
Part of me thinks I'm being daft and overthinking but another part of me is telling me somethings amiss

OP posts:
Thinkingmustbe · 01/07/2021 18:09

We also knew the codes to each other's phones since.. forever.

I do now know retrospectively of one distinct occasion where he was actually messaging another woman whilst sitting right next to me.

Something changes, it's hard to identify what. Just something about them, the way they behave, it might be something as small as a look (which was what sparked my gut feeling - both his sister and him looked at me in a distinctive way when OW name was mentioned, sounds crazy I know).

Yes, you'll question whether you're being daft, going paranoid, and you might be, but I really, really regret not checking his phone sooner. Good luck.

AlternativePerspective · 01/07/2021 18:10

No of course it isn’t always right.

You say you have absolutely nothing to go on other than a feeling he’s seeing someone else.

A gut feeling can come from someone else’s situation for instance. E.g. if you have a friend or relative who has recently been cheated on you might be subconsciously applying that thinking to your own relationship because you’ve been thinking about their situation.

And no, I don’t agree re snooping. If your gut feeling is wrong, and he’s given you absolutely no reason to doubt him, then you are calling his behaviour into question for no valid reason. If my partner started snooping on me because he thought it was his right based on a feeling with no basis I would end the relationship.

Be careful posting here though. It won’t be long before posters on here have convinced you you are absolutely right and to ltb.

Original poster
IsItTooEarlyForAGin · 01/07/2021 18:14

@AlternativePerspective this is why I don't want to look at his phone, I've nothing to go on and if the shoe was on the other foot I wouldn't be impressed.
I've no friends that have been cheated on recently they're all in long term relationships

OP posts:
Wherearemymarbles · 01/07/2021 18:30

I actually wonder when someone has a gut feeling for no obvious reason its because they can pick up the others person’s pheromones on their partner.

You can’t physically smell them but your body knows about them, cant place them and so triggers a response.

All guess work of course….

ladymuck111 · 01/07/2021 18:35

My gut feeling has always been right. Something has triggered your senses even if you are not aware of what it actually is right now.

musicfeedsmysoul · 01/07/2021 18:40

@Wherearemymarbles

I actually wonder when someone has a gut feeling for no obvious reason its because they can pick up the others person’s pheromones on their partner.

You can’t physically smell them but your body knows about them, cant place them and so triggers a response.

All guess work of course….

Absolutely i believe this as well it's like energy and you can sense something
Sarahlou63 · 01/07/2021 18:44

Probably something to do with serotonin - 90% of it is produced in the gut, which is why it's known as the second brain.

Prokupatuscrakedatus · 01/07/2021 18:45

Perhaps you all only remember the cases when you were right and do not remember the cases when your gut feeling was wrong?

Or as a MNetter once said - follow your gut, embrace your prejudices.

wizzywig · 01/07/2021 18:47

Yes, I have thought my husband was interested in someone. He wasn't

optimistic40 · 01/07/2021 18:49

I would've thought that this gut feeling would've been caused by something. I trust my feelings but there has always been some kind of basis for it...

Is he acting slightly differently? Difference to his sex drive, or his energy when talking to you? More / less affectionate?

If I had this feeling I would wait and watch whilst trying not to behave differently. Or you could ask him directly if anything has changed as you have a strange feeling?

musicfeedsmysoul · 01/07/2021 18:51

[quote IsItTooEarlyForAGin]@AlternativePerspective this is why I don't want to look at his phone, I've nothing to go on and if the shoe was on the other foot I wouldn't be impressed.
I've no friends that have been cheated on recently they're all in long term relationships[/quote]
I wouldn't go through his phone just yet just keep eyes open whilst taking care of you over thinking is horrible so I would say go get pampered have a girls evening have a good laugh then have a nice date night see what vibes you get

OnlyMsLonely · 01/07/2021 18:55

Could there be another reason for the 'gut' feeling? Like maybe hormones (are you near peri menopausal age)?

Febo24 · 01/07/2021 19:01

A agree with a few PP. I think on here makes you look at everything differently. Some people think they have a gut feeling but it's more about trust issues.

I don't think you need to act on it right away. Sit on it for a bit, if you get the feeling again or see some behaviour that's off then make the call about what to do accordingly.

freetorunwild · 01/07/2021 19:05

I had a gut feeling my partner was cheating on me, then I started to notice things and I finally caught them in the act. Ended up being a bigger situation than I had originally thought as well.

Sorehandsandfeet · 01/07/2021 19:05

anxiety makes my gut less reliable

Sakurami · 01/07/2021 19:21

Yep, had the gut feeling before and was right. I do tend to trust people though

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