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Original poster

Weekly porn but not impinging on our relationship.

34 replies

ginncordial · 01/07/2021 00:28

My partner watches porn... probably once per week . So do I . We both know this of each other . Doesn't bother him or me . No ED or PE and doesn't affect my intimacy with him nor him
With me
Long distance relationship . See one another once per week . Sex incredible . Would you be bothered ? Any issues ahead with m your experience ??

OP posts:
QueenBee52 · 01/07/2021 00:48

Doesn't bother him or me

so why Post 🤔

Im confused 😏

Shellady · 01/07/2021 01:33

Who can say . Read all the porn posts here and pray he doesn’t become like many men who want it more and more I guess
If not then , whatever
It’s your choice if your happy to do that

Shellady · 01/07/2021 01:36

And yes I’m confused too , why are you posting ?

chickenyhead · 01/07/2021 01:40

I don't agree with the porn industry on any level. But I am not you. If the exploitation of women is cool with you, go for it.

Shellady · 01/07/2021 01:52

@chickenyhead

I don't agree with the porn industry on any level. But I am not you. If the exploitation of women is cool with you, go for it.
Yea this
NiceGerbil · 01/07/2021 02:03

What's your question?

He's an individual. So are you. How are we supposed to predict anything?

If you're happy then what's the problem?

Allthingspeaches · 01/07/2021 02:18

How do you know it's once a week if it's a long distance relationship?

NiceGerbil · 01/07/2021 02:22

???

You can always trust men when they tell you their porn usage!

I mean. Obviously Grin

NiceGerbil · 01/07/2021 02:23

If you both like porn and you only see each other once a week then why porn only once s week?

Seems peculiar.

888central · 01/07/2021 02:42

This reply has been deleted

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Shellady · 01/07/2021 02:53

And assuming you both have obviously discussed how you garantee that every one of the women you watch ( I say women because it’s almost universally women who are used in these ways ) are consenting and of age then I’m not sure what else you want people here to say or offer you
It only takes five minutes to read around and see that for many women who thought their partners porn use was casual and harmless it wasn’t the case
You’ll have men swear blind it doesn’t affect them ….. until it does . Also not many people are aware of how their media consumption affects their perceptions , especially when it comes to consuming hardcore mysogyny when sexual organs are blurring objective thinking ( or the desire to even think objectively )
We can’t predict your relationship future . You say you’ve decided your happy with the situation then there’s really nothing we can offer you

me4real · 01/07/2021 02:56

It seems like your post is a bit tongue in cheek/a wind up maybe, as we see so many posts on here where porn has effected a couple's relationship, and there are always one or two people who pipe up that there's nothing wrong with it etc.

I kind of disagree with porn, mainly because I'm trying to rethink sexuality. So I stopped being 'rough' (with myself, not in a hurry to get a partner right now.) I try to cherish myself, I won't do BDSM again, and porn would be part of that change- rethinking sexuality to be something less objectifying, less performative, more equal, whole and accepting.

I think porn use might effect people's attitude to sex.

But then again, fantasies are kind-of porn anyway. But at least with fantasies I know no-one's being physically exploited in the real world.

Shellady · 01/07/2021 03:42

But then again, fantasies are kind-of porn anyway. But at least with fantasies I know no-one's being physically exploited in the real world.

Yes absolutely yet to hear of a unadaged fantasy having their lives forever scarred or an underage fantasy woman having her lice ruined or suiciding because her images were used without her consent
Agree this sounds like a wind up

Original poster
ginncordial · 01/07/2021 07:47

Thanks for your responses . Absolutely not a wind up. I guess I was wondering if those who watch porn now and again Have found it to escalate amd or cause damage to their own relationship in the long term?

OP posts:
Febo24 · 01/07/2021 07:54

Have a watch of Generation Porn on All4. There is a couple on there talking about their porn use, quite frankly being a bit cool/smug. However whilst talking to the camera, it takes a bit of a nosedive as she realises how he thinks of the porn, which is different to her.

I guess my point is, if you're actually properly talking about it honestly with each other and are comfortable with what the other is watching, how it's being used etc then it's up to you.

But have a watch of that programme, the porn star at the end who has a torn cervix might give you pause for thought.

Deathgrip · 01/07/2021 08:01

I find it unlikely that your partner who is long distance only watches porn once a week if you see each other once a week - it’s accessible 24/7, why would he limit it to that?

Aside from the obvious ethical issues around porn, porn consumption does impact attitudes towards sex. Perhaps you genuinely do have a man who can separate porn and sex and moderates his consumption. Perhaps you don’t, and there’s really no way for you to know this. Having been in a relationship with someone whose porn addiction and the impact on his behaviour only becoming clear over time, I would be wary.

Bagelsandbrie · 01/07/2021 08:07

If it works for you, you crack on. Grin

Shellady · 01/07/2021 09:58

@ginncordial

Thanks for your responses . Absolutely not a wind up. I guess I was wondering if those who watch porn now and again Have found it to escalate amd or cause damage to their own relationship in the long term?
Yes plenty have Do a search on ‘porn ‘ here . Read the stories of the women here and you’ll realise most of them had no idea entering those relationships that the men would end up using porn to the extent they did or the implications to how they treat them and women in general.
Febo24 · 01/07/2021 11:34

⬆️ that's me. Ruined my marriage.

Original poster
ginncordial · 01/07/2021 11:47

If I could Ask And not be rude , why did it ruin your marriage ?

OP posts:
Mermaid9264 · 01/07/2021 15:08

Me and my partner are in a long distance relationship. We watch porn together and send it to each other. We ask each other what we like specifically about it, if this is something new we would want to try. Watching porn is an intimate thing people usually do alone and i actually like that i get to be involved in his private thoughts and see what gets him going, same as him for me. I feel it improves our sex life as it gives us more ideas in the bedroom, we try lots of new things, amazing sex life.

Crikeyalmighty · 01/07/2021 15:33

@ginncordial In response to your question to Febo- my response would be similar— I don’t like being lied to that it’s ‘occasional’ — when it’s been virtually every day behind my back ( router stats tell me this) and I don’t feel comfortable with someone who likes to spend his time looking at this stuff as much as this— particularly so called ‘amateur stuff’ —especially when they like to seem very much a new man/feminist. It may not bother others- but certainly bothered me

Mermaid9264 · 01/07/2021 16:15

Women who feature in porn usually do this on their own accord as jobs and get paid to do this out of choice? Surely being a feminist would mean that women are very much capable of making their own choices without being judged by other women as "degrading themselves?"

chickenyhead · 01/07/2021 17:33

@Mermaid9264

Women who feature in porn usually do this on their own accord as jobs and get paid to do this out of choice? Surely being a feminist would mean that women are very much capable of making their own choices without being judged by other women as "degrading themselves?"
They aren't degrading themselves, they are being exploited.
me4real · 01/07/2021 18:05

I have quite a bit of experience of porn giving men ideas of stuff they want to do in bed in a bad way.

@ginncordial He probably is using it more often than he claims.

Erectile issues aren't the only/main problem with porn. You say you have a great sex life now, but after the honeymoon period or if you are having an off week, what if one time you just didn't want sex, or wanted relaxed 'normal' sex rather than exotic manoevres or whatever?

Some men get that they like certain things due to porn and want women to do them, or they want a woman to act like a porn star or whatever.

Sex used to be a fairly gentle and in theory loving thing, and I think porn has made that less likely.

Sex has always had/risked having an element of 'putting on a show' and porn has made that worse.

What if one day you didn't feel like giving oral for instance? Could you say that to him? Or even if you decided you didn't want to do that (or any other particular act as an example) again? It should all be about what you feel comfortable doing and genuinely find pleasure in yourself, rather than what you feel you should be doing to please him or be 'good at sex,' or worry you might lose him if you don't do the things.

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