I just left my husband

[GrooveArmada]

I just left. Something has just broken in me. I am sat down in a packed up car in a car park about 5 miles away. I'm 34 weeks pregnant.

Long term poster, but too embarrassed to post under my usual username. What a shambles my life has become.

What should I do now? Has anyone done this before?

No real practical advice but I just wanted to say from the bottom of my heart- GOOD FOR YOU!
I can imagine you are scared and worried right now but it will get better, I promise.
From the description of your husband it sounds like you were parenting him.

When your son arrives there maybe tough times, sleepless nights etc, however it is far far harder when you are dealing with all of that with a supposedly other grown human being who feigns ignorance of anything to do with their own child. Which I can totally see happening if you stayed!
It is to say the least frustrating.
You are clearly an intelligent woman who has made an intelligent choice based on 10 years experience.
Create the best life ever for you and your child, you got this.

@GrooveArmada I hope you're ok this morning. Our not so DH's sound so similar. It's exhausting and diminshining living with them. However hard it is right now, I truely believe it will be worth it x

Take a few days at your friends but then go back to the house. He should find somewhere else not you, as you are pregnant.

Hi op, I hope you managed to get some sleep .

Weak husbands can be completely exhausting! Do not underestimate the impact this can have on you. How are you this morning?

Hugs x

In a 3-bed house you can rent out two rooms. Could be just an income, could also mean some help and support for you in the house.
Best of luck with this all.

You sound like you've made a lot of sacrifices to get to where you are.
I wouldn't sacrifice the time you have with your baby by putting them in nursery etc early To go back to work.
If you need to use up your savings or borrow from family, do that even if it's just for a year.

He sounds like my DP.

You are best to split now before the baby's born. It's so much more complicated later.

Can he pay the mortgage alone if you move out? Get a lodger?

Can you afford a one bed private let?

Go on entitled to and work out what you could get- you need to find out nursery and rent costs first.

But if you own a house you may only get help for 6 months+.

A childminder/nanny will probably be better than nursery for an under one. Or work out if you can take the full 52 weeks leave- remember your entitlement to benefits may increase to compensate for this loss in income.

Or you may have to get into debt to get you through.

Morning All.

I slept at my friend's house, she put everything together for me, including lovely fresh bedding, bless her. It's quiet there, but I struggled to sleep and couldn't dose off for more than 40 mins of light sleep at a time.

Husband knew I have an antenatal appointment at the hospital this morning and that there's a very difficult car park here, which I normally avoid. It's a bit difficult for me to reverse in my car now with a bump this size which is an added difficulty. One would think he'd at least offer to take me there, but nope. He sent one more WhatsApp this morning "If you don't want me to take you to the hospital at least let me know what they say later".

I am livid. Why the assumption I don't want to without even asking? Convenient prick. So pleased I didn't reply yesterday or today and I'm not planning to do so.

I have two close friends who live nearby, one with a young baby. Really he could have guessed quite easily where I am, but he didn't ask, drive round, offer to take me in today, nothing. Like I said, I'm wfh, he showed no care in the world about anything. I don't expect anyone to be sorting out my life but this level of not giving a shit at 34 weeks pregnant is beyond my comprehension.

Oh, and I drove myself AND parked up, currently at my antenatal, rather pleased with myself!

Getting to the point of really not giving a shit about him and focusing solely on the welfare of my son and I, I will not be bending over backwards to accommodate him, whatever arrangements we discuss.

Thank you to everyone who understood where I'm coming from too, it's exactly as you say, he's just such a wet flannel that it has worn me out completely...one might not marry a monster, but it doesn't mean that a Mr Nice Guy is a good partner or husband. I've been paying the price for this for far too long and there's not much left of me anymore. I've turned into a ball of nerves. This isn't acceptable anymore.

If he is bad with money, then he'll likely be worse with it on his own. So it may mean it's cheaper to sell the house. Also you may be able to "port" the mortgage to a cheaper place. Or you could take over the house and get in a lodger (or two).

A lodger with a newborn or young baby isn't reallua viable option to me.

I will look into porting. I don't really care what he'll do with money, as long as he pays what he needs to for as long as he needs to.

Tbh you left him and he presumes your angry which you are. I wouldn't expect him to fetch you when he doesn't know where you are and go to a scan when you aren't on good terms?

He could at least offer if he had any care. The issue is, he never cares.

Hope youre ok @GrooveArmada

❤️

Hope you're ok?