I think I might be in love with my friend. I only started to feel like this last weekend. I don’t know what to do. I feel like a teenager but it’s more complicated.
My male friend is an ex. We broke up 18 months ago but remained in touch. We broke up as we both were really busy and live 45 mins drive away. Distance and life got in the way, and we didn’t prioritise each other or get to know each other that well. We both met other partners after but those relationships ended at Christmas, around the same time.
We ended up bubbling together as most of our friends had bubbles. We ended up spending more quality time together and got to know each other much better than before, better conversations and more shared interests. We only went out for 6 months previously and I don’t think we got to know each other properly. We started to spend nights at each other’s and shared a bed but no sex occurred, just cuddles. We both were on dating sites, but covid dating is hard.
Month later he had a life event and had to take time off work and still is off. He got depression and anxiety and is now on meds and counselling. I supported him heavily through the first few months. He told few friends. He got insomnia and stopped staying over. But we meet up a few times a week and text lots daily. We have gone more places now than when we went out. We can be flirty and most people assume we are a couple.
He has 3 friends and a family member who he told and meets up with him for suppprt weekly. One of these friends is an ex fling. He is always honest when he sees her and says he has no interest in her, it was a one night stand between friends. but I became jealous last week for the first time, as she had arranged childcare to go to his on the Friday night. He says they went into the hot tub and had food. She was gone by 8pm. It’s the sharing to hot tub that made me jealous. No idea why, as we do it all the time with no issues.
Became to realise I think I am in love with him. So I have pulled back. He has texted to ask what’s the matter, said was busy. I did meet up this week with him and he was starting to feel better. Back to himself, nearly. He said he missed seeing me.
We always used to joke about my fussy standards in dating, but not recently, in fact last time I brought up a date, he said let’s change the subject, was not mentioned again. He brought it up this week in a sheepish way asking who I am dating. Said no one, giving it a break, why. No reply, just a shrug. I asked him who he is dating and he said no one, not in the right frame of mind. But may have eyes on someone. Just needs to wait to see if they are still single, doesn’t want to make a move till he has recovered . When pushed didn’t say who. I did joke it was his other friend and he said no.
So what do I do? I don’t want to ignore him as he needs support , but I can’t tell him as his head is not in the right place. I need to stop feeling jealous of his friend too. I have no say if they get together or not.
Basically since last weekend, I get an excited feeling when I see or text him. His hug this week felt amazing. Do I wait or fade out or bury my feelings. Is him asking who I am dating a sign he is interested? Why have my feelings changed, as I didn’t feel this way last month and was happy being friends
Why did I have to fall for my good friend!