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Original poster

Am I oversensitive, or was this a shitty thing to do?

70 replies

rainydays2021 · 20/06/2021 10:58

Long-time lurker (sistine chapel, penis beaker, Korean lady). Have nc for this thread.

I just need some outside perspective on something that happened on Friday to know whether I'm being a drama llama, or if my DH's actions were insensitive at best.

On Friday, the weather was awful here, lots of heavy rain on and off throughout the day. We don't have a car, so I walk the DC to school (DH has done pick up twice since September). The only umbrella we have is a huge golf one that takes up the whole pavement, so before heading out I checked with Alexa if it was going to rain. Response was that it would be cloudy until 7pm, so I thought I'd chance it.

As I'm leaving, DH says "Take the umbrella" but I tell him it should be okay.

Well, the heavens opened as I was waiting for DC in the playground. They had their umbrellas and wellies, so we started the walk back home. To say I got drenched is an understatement - my waterproof jacket got soaked to the inside!

Arrived back home, standing in the kitchen taking off DC's things, literally dripping wet. DH comes in and instructs DS (17) to "Quick get a towel for the floor". The fucking floor. Like, seriously, not me. The floor.

He made a huge fuss of the floor, making sure it was dry, ignoring me.

Afterwards, I explained his reaction had hurt me. That I didn't need him to feel sorry for me, but to prioritise the floor being dry was incomprehensible to me.

His response was that he'd advised me to take an umbrella and I'd ignored his advice, that I am an adult and therefore should bear the consequences...

So, do I need to give my head a wobble and move on, or was this a really shitty response from DH???

OP posts:
MaybeCrazy2 · 20/06/2021 11:43

I think it depends. If he was concerned the floor was wet because if left, it can stain or ruin it then it’s fine. If he was going on about the floor to drive home a point to you and being a dick about it, then you have a point and he doesn’t need to rub salt in the wound because you made an innocent mistake.

Tulipsandviolets · 20/06/2021 11:48

Think you're being a drip OP Grin

UserAtRandom · 20/06/2021 11:53

My first response when people arrive home dripping wet is always to protect the floor as well. Getting soaked will ruin it and be costly to replace. A human can take off their own clothes and dry themselves off and be none the worse.

thedancingbear · 20/06/2021 11:59

@Jellyred

Hmmm… sounds like he was being a bit PA and it wouldn’t have bothered me quite as much.

However, looking at the detail you’ve put, how is your relationship and Labour split in general? is there a wider issue of which this is a small instance?

If not I think this is a non-issue.

I tend to agree. However much we'd like to think otherwise, his behaviour here has been entirely reasonable.

As such, we will need to string him up for something else. What other dirt are you able to provide? Come on, there must be something!

CharlieSocial · 20/06/2021 12:00

What type of bloody floors have you got OP? Just answer the question

WaterBottle123 · 20/06/2021 12:04

He just sounds a bit boring to be honest. Worrying about a floor?

LindaEllen · 20/06/2021 12:06

Sorry but if my DP - who I love very much - came home dripping wet, I'd also want to put a towel down. All he'd need to do would be take his clothes off. Not like he'd need help. Plus, he did tell you to take an umbrella, which would have prevented the problem in the first place. You are really overreacting about this isolated situation, unless of course there's a lot you've not told us.

Jellyred · 20/06/2021 12:20

So basically it’s not about the rain, floor or towel.

There’s a bigger issue that this represents.

Yes you are being unreasonable in this instance, but from what you've said it’s not the core issue.

Maybe do a bit of navel gazing then come back? I suspect you have a wider situation that’s problematic.

NeverDropYourMoonCup · 20/06/2021 12:22

I've permanently fucked up my right hip from sliding on a patch of water on a hard floor - one foot stayed stuck on the floor where it was dry, the other slid until I was in a lunge position with my quads on my back leg absolutely flat on the floor and something in my hip made a hideous snapping noise before I slowly keeled over sideways, having to use a stick for two years afterwards. Still have pain all the time and more at night, despite physio.

When DP came in drenched to the skin, I made sure he stayed at the front door until I'd got a towel for the floor and then he had to take all his clothes off and dry off on another before he fucked his hip up the way mine has been (or I did the same again) - he does the same whenever I've been caught out as well.

A bit of comfort is nice - but being soaking wet and dripping all over the floor is a risk to others and yourself.

TooTiredForToday · 20/06/2021 12:29

Well on one hand, the floor can't dry itself, you can. So I can see he'd set about drying the floor while you sorted yourself, however my DH is thoughtful and kind and probably would have fetched me a towel at the same time and out the kettle on to make me a warm drink or something. He wouldn't have used it as a 'told you so' moment and that is where your husband is being a bit of an arse.

If you're always ignoring him about stuff like this, and making a mess generally, and being a bit useless I can see he might be a bit fed up with yet another hapless incident.

It's difficult to say without the context.

DuckbilledSplatterPuff · 20/06/2021 12:31

He's not usually worried at all about the floors, housework, or anything else. In that moment, it actually felt like "I will show you that the floor means more to me than you

In normal circumstances, I'd just get on with sorting out the damp, but given what you've said above, no I don't think you are over reacting. He's really hurt your feelings and you should tell him that.

It sounds like he was having a pompous bout of "I told you so" and really hammering it home.

CrushedPistachios · 20/06/2021 12:33

I feel like you’re over reacting and you’re looking to put blame on him for other stuff that may be going on, or just for feeling silly that he told you to take a brolly but you knew better and evidently didn’t like that you were proven wrong.

Don’t get hung up on this. This sounds like it could become quite a circular action/reaction of passive aggression and pettiness between the two of you if it’s not nipped in the bud.

maddiemookins16mum · 20/06/2021 12:40

What did you want him to do exactly?

YeokensYegg · 20/06/2021 12:43

You mentioned him not doing anything. Is that the real problem OP?

What does he do?

AgentJohnson · 20/06/2021 13:00

Wait what? We have laminate flooring and yes I would be more worried about my floor than an adult who refused to take an umbrella on a cloudy day.

reader12 · 20/06/2021 13:12

I think his reaction sounds a bit off and mean. But agree you’re a grown up and should get a normal umbrella you can carry around, or a really good waterproof coat.

Bluntness100 · 20/06/2021 13:16

Yeah I’m not sure about this Either, you were wet. Most grown ups can deal with that without partner involvement or sympathy. I’d also have been annoyed if the floor was soaking to be honest.

BradPittsLeftTit · 20/06/2021 13:17

Sounds like you've already moved on but I actually did the same to my DH Friday

He came back from walking the dog and was out when a cloudburst hit. I covered all the floors in towels for his return and had the dogs drying coat also by the kitchen door ready to dry him.

I didn't pay my DH much attention other than to sympathise with him being out in such shitty weather but I was defo focused on the floor and the dog 😂

My logic was DH was beyond drying and just needed to strip off and put everything in the dryer whereas the floor and the dog needed more of a helping hand

Hope he wasn't offended 😬!

ChinaMug · 20/06/2021 13:20

In that moment, it actually felt like "I will show you that the floor means more to me than you".

I don't think he was making a point that the floor was more important than you but I can understand his irritation that the situation arose. It would have been easier to just take am umbrella.

He was making a point abut you not taking one; you were making a point by not taking one in the first place. No one does a school run walk without am umbrella if there is a chance of rain and, if they do, they just deal with it.

My floors would stain/be ruined if they got wet like that and werent dried immediately so, yes, I'd prioritise the floor in that scenario.

It was an entirely predictable and avoidable situation.

LoopTheLoops · 20/06/2021 13:22

I’m with your husband on this one as well, I’m afraid I would have had very little sympathy, I mean it’s just rain? I get soaked all the time because I have a pram so don’t usually take an umbrella, too much of a pain trying to hold the umbrella and push a pram so I just use my hood?

Tal45 · 20/06/2021 13:24

I would just have said 'could you get ME a towel too ds please'. DH was being a bit of an arse because you got wet when he said to you to take an umbrella but unless he's always patronising/scoring points against you it's probably not a big deal.

ChinaMug · 20/06/2021 13:24

I'd use my own common sense and listen to another human before I obeyed Alexa. So maybe he was irritated that you'd ignored him and listened to a machine instead 🤷🏻‍♀️

"My husband gave me some well meaning advice. I ignored him and followed the advice of Alexa instead. Alexa was wrong and it created an easily avoided inconvenience. He was irritated."

Sounds pretty reasonable to me.

GreyhoundG1rl · 20/06/2021 13:24

Just bring a bloody umbrella next time 🙄
You're an adult, why did you need him fussing around you because you got wet?

Tal45 · 20/06/2021 13:25

Oh and maybe the simple solution is to get a reasonable sized umbrella?

user1493494961 · 20/06/2021 13:30

Drama llama, are you a bit bored today OP?