New to OLD

[GinTonicIce]

Hello, I’ve been chatting to a few lovely men via a OLD app. 2 asked me out for a drink quite quickly - within 24 hours. But the one I really like still hasn’t asked me. How long of pen palling do you do before writing it off? We’ve swapped numbers (my suggestion) and he has instigated all whatsapp convos so I think he’s interested.

I know I could ask him but in my last relationships I’ve been the boss/mother & that resulted in resentment. I’m looking for someone who will take the initiative this time.

No wonder you are doing so well if you are prepared to 'sex chat' with people you have never met. I would say good luck but clearly you don't need it.

@crimsonlake op explained earlier

Oh lord, I’ve been misunderstood. It’s certainly not what I want or accept. I meant I didn’t understand why men or women want a faux friend and spend all this time messaging back and forth with no upside. If they were getting their rocks off I could understand it.

@GinTonicIce yes I used to try and meet very quickly ! It’s a much better use of time. I’d only go for a drink though as once had the worse 3 course meal and couldn’t escape

Deffo keep first dates to an hour.

@crimsonlake

No wonder you are doing so well if you are prepared to 'sex chat' with people you have never met. I would say good luck but clearly you don't need it.

I never said that and nor do I do it.

[quote Garbagepailgal]@GinTonicIce yes I used to try and meet very quickly ! It’s a much better use of time. I’d only go for a drink though as once had the worse 3 course meal and couldn’t escape[/quote]
He wanted 3 courses! Really nice man but he was so quiet. I felt like I was interviewing him just to keep conversation going.

100% right… keep it quick!

@Blueskytoday06

Deffo keep first dates to an hour.

I’ve learnt my lesson! Never again.

@GinTonicIce

Date done! I ended up being so late because my appt over ran.

Oh god he’s really lovely & we laughed a lot. Said he wants to do it again but not sure if he was just being polite. Time will tell.

Ah how lovely! Well done OP

Quick update for future readers… we’re on our 7th date and he’s fantastic.

Looking back I realised I was creating a drama where there was none. The problem of previously dating a narc & being used to love bombing & drama. This is calm seas. Phew.

Excellent.