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Original poster

First date walk

38 replies

firstdatenerves · 11/06/2021 16:01

I am going on a first date with a guy I've been chatting to for a while and we've decided to do a walking date.

I was planning on going very casual - think jeans, tshirt of some sort, trainers.

I'm plus-size and short. I usually wear jeggings, currently folded up at the bottom, sort of a cropped look.

Do you think this is too casual? Are jeggings ok?

I want to be comfortable - for obvious reasons but also because I don't want to sweat my arse off on the date!

Any advice?!

OP posts:

LoopTheLoops · 11/06/2021 16:26

It’s just a walk, that’s very causal so I wouldn’t dress up

Peach01 · 11/06/2021 16:43

Casual is good, you want to wear what's sort of "normal" for the activity you're doing. Jeggings are nice anyway, wear a nice t-shirt
Good luck!

JustAnotherOldMan · 11/06/2021 17:03

No fashion advice here, but make sure your comfortable, you don’t want to be thinking about your pinching shoes etc when talking

MayorGundersonsDogRufus · 11/06/2021 17:07

Sounds perfect. You can still make an effort to look nice in jeans and a t-shirt. No point in making yourself uncomfortable as that's all you'll think about and all he'll notice. Hope it goes well!

Umberellatheweatha · 11/06/2021 17:31

I think jeggings roled up at the bottom might make you look shorter than you are? Otherwise you might get away with it. Though I'd be inclined to wear something that covers my butt in leggings...not sure if it's the same with jeggings?

Personal opinion but I dont think I'd be too impressed if in a first date the person turned up proper casual. I mean a tshirt and cute shorts and some converse might be ok because it could be cute... but jeggings and trainers...might not be wise.

I kinda think date one sets the barr for effort tbh. Of course it's important to be comfortable but it's a casual walk, not a hike so I'm sure you could cute it up a little.

Maybe add a necklace and some bracelets?

Hard to tell without seeing it of course but theres nothing worse than going on a date and realising you really fancy him and wishing youd made more effort. I say rethink, personally.

Rocaille · 11/06/2021 17:41

It would be better if he took you out to a restaurant, so you could dress up and feel fabulous. A walking date is cheap and low effort, I'd bin him off now.

kiksta · 11/06/2021 18:32

@Umberellatheweatha

I kinda think date one sets the barr for effort tbh. Of course it's important to be comfortable but it's a casual walk, not a hike so I'm sure you could cute it up a little.

Maybe add a necklace and some bracelets?

Hard to tell without seeing it of course but theres nothing worse than going on a date and realising you really fancy him and wishing youd made more effort. I say rethink, personally.

I'd love to wear shorts but my legs are too short and fat and dumpy 😩

Mermaidwaves · 11/06/2021 18:32

Could you wear a casual summer dress with trainers or flat sandals, you will feel a bit more dressed up but still comfortable enough for a walk. If you wear make up keep it light and summery so you don't feel overdone but still nice if that's something you do, equally natural and fresh faced is nice this time of year too.

kiksta · 11/06/2021 18:34

@firstdatenerves

I am going on a first date with a guy I've been chatting to for a while and we've decided to do a walking date.

I was planning on going very casual - think jeans, tshirt of some sort, trainers.

I'm plus-size and short. I usually wear jeggings, currently folded up at the bottom, sort of a cropped look.

Do you think this is too casual? Are jeggings ok?

I want to be comfortable - for obvious reasons but also because I don't want to sweat my arse off on the date!

Any advice?!

I think the most important thing is to be comfortable. The last thing you want is to be worried about feeling 'not yourself' on your date.

If you feel comfortable you'll feel good and that will shine out of you!

Best of luck!

wishfuldreamer · 11/06/2021 19:03

I think that’s personal preference. I don’t like eating in front of someone I barely know, or feeling obliged to talk to them for hours through dinner if I don’t click with them in person…

Peach01 · 11/06/2021 19:04

I think the most important thing is to be comfortable. The last thing you want is to be worried about feeling 'not yourself' on your date

This is exactly it. You need to feel like you. You can wear jeggings and a nice top. You can do your hair and makeup nice if you want to feel a bit more 'dressed'. Jeggings don't have to be dowdy. If you put something on that you think might make you look more appealing in some way but in your head your thinking "my thighs look weird in this", "this material rubs" or "will he notice this dress gives me 4 boobs?", you know you have the jeggings that flatter you and you're comfortable, you wear the jeggings.

I wore jeans for my first few (evening) dates with DP because I felt less self conscious being more covered up. Dressed it up with a nice top, bag, nice shoes and a blazer. Felt great.

wishfuldreamer · 11/06/2021 19:04

Sorry, that was to @Rocaille

OP - wear something you feel comfortable and cute in :-)

motogogo · 11/06/2021 19:26

I wore jeans, top and fleece when I met dp for the first time, he couldn't have minded too much as he's curled up on the sofa next to me in the house we bought

Peach01 · 11/06/2021 19:26

@wishfuldreamer Yeah and it's not an indication of something negative. One of our early dates we went walking and I wore gym clothes. I thought I was being friend zoned, we're not wining and dining. He told me he arranged it because he liked me, didn't want alcohol involved and he knew I liked walking.

Also OP I forgot about this but our first date I had to wear a bra that made me flat chested (I'm relatively big). I hadn't been out in so long and didn't want to try to walk in heels, wore casual heeled boots that I didn't really like. I remember feeling self conscious a few times throughout the night.

SamW98 · 11/06/2021 21:47

@Rocaille

It would be better if he took you out to a restaurant, so you could dress up and feel fabulous. A walking date is cheap and low effort, I'd bin him off now.

Couldn't disagree more. I think going for a nice walk and a chat is much nicer as a first date than a more formal restaurant where the flow of conversation is interrupted by eating.

NannyAndJohn · 11/06/2021 22:07

Is it a walk followed by lunch or just a walk?

If the latter then I'd be worried he's a cheapskate.

JustAnotherOldMan · 12/06/2021 09:41

@Rocaille

It would be better if he took you out to a restaurant, so you could dress up and feel fabulous. A walking date is cheap and low effort, I'd bin him off now.

What absolute rubbish, who wants to be stuck in a dimly lit restaurant with someone you have never met before trying to make small talk, while being self conscious about not eating with your mouth open or spilling your soup, outside 1st meetings are extremely traditional and go right back to the old fashioned days of meeting people on the promenade.

Bluntness100 · 12/06/2021 09:43

Wtf with some of these responses. He’s got to spend money on her? Hello did I transfer back to the 1950s.

A walk if fine to meet each other for the first time.

Why are some people so grabby and grasping.

JustAnotherOldMan · 12/06/2021 09:55

@NannyAndJohn

Is it a walk followed by lunch or just a walk?

If the latter then I'd be worried he's a cheapskate.

If I was the person do the inviting, I would be happy to pay for a light lunch somewhere, but would also 100% expect my date to offer to go half’s,

Rocaille · 12/06/2021 11:03

People on mumsnet complain about men 'spinning plates' on OLD but then facilitate that very behaviour by accepting cheap, low effort dates.

(OP, sorry for the derail. I'm not getting at you or your man, just making a general point).

Rocaille · 12/06/2021 11:05

And the 50/50 mentality just enables men's bad behaviour.

ALittleBitConfused1 · 12/06/2021 11:28

I would fully expect (and want to) pay my share on any dare. I think if you're seeing some one more regularly then yes it's nice to treat each other 'hey let's go to lunch to this lovely place I know, my treat but again that works both ways. Why, would I expect a man to pay for me, it's not 1953 and effort is a 2 way street.

I also think something casual for a first date is fine op, id much prefer to do something low key and non committal for a first meet up. If it's awkward, no chemistry etc you can make your excuses and leave after an hour without too much hassle, or with out looking rude.

Jeggings and t shirt is fine but id probably swap out the tee for a before a basic vest top and the trainers for flip flops, make an effort with my hair and a nice summery fresh faced minimal make up look, just so I didn't feel like I was dressed to pop to Tescos lol. But NO point dressing up, you're right, just for a walk.

I would be concerned that if get too hot in jeans though, maybe a casual but pretty maxi dress with flip flops, I think it's so much easier to do that casual but nice day look in the summer.

In any case op, have fun.

JustAnotherOldMan · 12/06/2021 13:17

@Rocaille

And the 50/50 mentality just enables men's bad behaviour.

What year is this 1921 or 2021, are women not allowed to spend money any more.

What utter nonsense

Rocaille · 12/06/2021 13:20

Yes, she should spend money on HERSELF!! Not some random Internet fuck boy. Have some manners: you invite a woman out, you pay.

Rocaille · 12/06/2021 13:24

This brand of feminism that insists a woman must pay with her hard-earned money for what, 9 times out of 10, will be her disappointment, heartbreak and/or degradation is great for men. Not sure how it's in women's interests though?

Funnily enough, it's usually tight-arse males I hear aggressively promoting it.

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