Sarah is currently a SAHM looking after a preschooler and also has two other children (different dad). She receives £700 a month from her ex, £300 from a family member and £500 from Ken, her current partner. Out of this she pays ALL the bills, food shopping, etc, basically everything. The house is hers and is paying the mortgage using previous overpayment credit. Money is tight but she can afford not to work for a little while but not forever. Ken doesn’t pay her at the beginning of the month when Sarah would prefer, it’s always in dribs and drabs after she has to ask multiple times because she’s run out of money and is paying overdraft fees. Ken’s income is around £2000 per month, out of this he pays for his travel to work, lunches, cigarettes, booze etc. He probably has around £1000 disposable income. He has also run up credit card debts. Ken doesn’t seem to be able to budget and when I’m he does shopping himself he goes to Waitrose. Sarah shops at Lidl or Aldi because it’s cheaper.
She would actually like to be working but tbh is struggling to cope, the toddler isn’t a particularly easy child and she receives very little help at home from Ken. In fact Ken often works 6 days a week and rarely takes time off. He does finish early some days but when he does chooses to go to the pub with people he works with. Ken does some cooking, although less and less nowadays and never in workdays. He doesn’t lift a finger in terms of housework and actively avoids helping to fix things around the house. Every little task involves a lot of nagging and a big fuss before it’s completed. Sarah feels like she’s drowning trying to keep on top of things.
Lately Ken has been drinking more regularly so is unable to help with the toddler when he gets home, he does this even on days when Sarah calls and ahead asks him to come home sober so he can help because there’s something specific she needs to do.
Sarah often feels overwhelmed and exhausted. Because Ken is never there, the older DC (who are more than capable) end up helping when they should be doing homework etc.
Things have not always been that way, they have steadily got worse since the pandemic started and crucially 7 months ago Ken disclosed some serious childhood trauma.
Nothing is changing, Sarah has repeatedly spelled out to Ken why she’s so unhappy and he’s just not getting it. The drink has a lot to answer for but regardless he’s still so damn uncooperative.