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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Husband has locked me out!

57 replies

winniemum · 07/06/2021 18:43

Having first posted here 8 years ago using a similar user name and never having heard of EA I have finally moved out from my family home after many many years of marriage!
I moved my stuff out last week while H was at work but left a couple of things behind by mistake.
Tonight I went home to retrieve them as I knew H would be out and I find he’s double locked the front door using a new lock!
We joint own our house and are still paying the mortgage.
Can he legally do this?
His argument is he doesn’t even know where my new rental is. Has he got a point?
While I’m at it just want to say thank you to all you fabulous MNetters for your support over the years.

OP posts:
Peace43 · 07/06/2021 18:52

Call a locksmith and get the locks changed, go in and get your stuff. You co-own the property. You are entitled to enter the property. He doesn’t pay towards your property, why does he need to know anything about it.

That is assuming you can’t reason with him? He is entitlEd to privacy (as are you) so only enter the house for proper justified reasons.

Justa47 · 07/06/2021 18:53

@winniemum

If you joint own it no.

Aquamarine1029 · 07/06/2021 18:54

If you also own the home, he can not lock you out of it. Call a locksmith and the police if necessary.

HollowTalk · 07/06/2021 18:56

As the others have said, get a locksmith out. Make sure you leave a key for him somewhere, though.

Castlepeak · 07/06/2021 18:57

You moved out. It’s not unreasonable for him to change the locks, even if you own the property. Women do this all the time when their husband’s leave the family home.

Contact him and tell him you need to obtain some of your things. If he is reasonable and gets them to you quickly, let it go. If he doesn’t, then you can make an issue about the locks.

category12 · 07/06/2021 18:57

You have the right to access the property you own together, so you could probably break in if you wanted.

You're going to need a solicitor if you don't have one. You should have a set of keys to the property. He'll probably dilly-dally like hell over it even if it is legally backed up tho.

His argument he doesn't know your new address isn't an argument at all - it's got nothing to do with the house you own, and he's no rights to your new place or to know where you are - whereas you very much do have rights to the house he's in.

AlmostSummer21 · 07/06/2021 18:58

As the others have said, no he can't, call a locksmith. Make sure you get everything you want. Take a photo of the receipt send it to him and tell you he owns you the cost of it.

If your new place is in both names and he pays 50% then he can have the details and let himself in. 🤷🏻‍♀️

Well done for getting out.

Dyrne · 07/06/2021 19:02

You are completely entitled to have access to your own property, OP. Your ex (presumably) doesn’t pay anything towards your new flat so he isn’t entitled to know anything about it.

I would proceed extremely cautiously though, given the abuse. It’s all very well saying call a locksmith but what if your ex comes home while you’re there? Leaving an abusive relationship is a very dangerous time for a woman. I’d call Women’s aid for advice, they might have some good formal sounding wording you can use to request access to the property or else you’ll change the locks to get access etc etc.

Is there anyone you could trust to come back with you another time to give some support and safety? (Someone you can trust not to escalate anything)

Rebornagain · 07/06/2021 19:02

Surely the husband has the right to privacy when you move out?

If you do enter home you have to pay the locksmith

EKGEMS · 07/06/2021 19:04

@Rebornagain Not if they are joint owners

HollowTalk · 07/06/2021 19:05

They both have rights, @rebornagain. She has the right to take her belongings from the house.

mynameisbrian · 07/06/2021 19:06

We are all entitled to privacy however one person cannot change the locks because someone has moved out where the house is jointly owned. That is the fact- so OP no he doesnt have a right to know where you live and yes you do have a right to access your home to get your belongings.

WorraLiberty · 07/06/2021 19:13

You'll need proof you jointly own the property or the Locksmith won't touch it.

Longdistance · 07/06/2021 19:17

Go retrieve your stuff. He doesn’t have a right to your new address (so he can stalk you/turn up randomly/damage your car) but you do have the right to enter the property you jointly own.

Original poster
winniemum · 07/06/2021 19:33

Thank you ladies.
We also have a dog so I wanted to go round to see him when H is at work.
Would that be an invasion of H privacy? I don’t want to go round when he is there.

OP posts:
Aprilx · 07/06/2021 19:39

He can change the locks, of course he can, if you hadn’t split up and wanted to change the locks it wouldn’t need you both to be at home to sign off on it.

So by the same token, you can change the locks. There would be nothing to stop you calling a locksmith and getting them changed again.

Original poster
winniemum · 07/06/2021 19:40

I can’t get in the house to change the locks back though.

OP posts:
Aprilwasverywet · 07/06/2021 19:42

Legally you can enter by force but must make good the door.
Yabu to have left the ddog with him.

Castlepeak · 07/06/2021 19:43

@winniemum

Thank you ladies. We also have a dog so I wanted to go round to see him when H is at work. Would that be an invasion of H privacy? I don’t want to go round when he is there.
Do not do that.

Imagine if it were the other way around. “I would go to work and he would come into the house with the excuse of obtaining something or seeing the dog”. It will make you look like a crazy, abusive stalker. Do not do this.

Original poster
winniemum · 07/06/2021 19:45

That’s a bit harsh! I’d just like to see my dog, not go through all his things!

OP posts:
CupoTeap · 07/06/2021 19:46

You are allowed to heal in, it's your house

Umberellatheweatha · 07/06/2021 19:51

Locksmith. Get your things and go.
See about a divorce letter so that you can get the house sold (easier to get done in divorce).

But you either have to take the dog or leave it, you cant be going round their visiting any time you fancy visiting it. So decide who is keeping it.

category12 · 07/06/2021 19:54

You can't routinely go back to the house when he's not there, that's really not cool.

Really you should give warning of when you need to go there "I need to pick up x on this date, I'll be round at y time" or whatever.

If you want to see the dog, you need to agree it, not just sneak around.

Nancylovesthecock · 07/06/2021 19:55

@winniemum

That’s a bit harsh! I’d just like to see my dog, not go through all his things!
You know that he knows that but that's how your actions could be used against you!
Castlepeak · 07/06/2021 20:00

I’m not saying you are a stalker or doing anything wrong. I’m saying that your H could easily spin a story.

You have to think about how your actions could be interpreted by him and also how they could be manipulated by him.

Don’t give him any ammunition to use against you.