Husband has locked me out!

[winniemum]

Having first posted here 8 years ago using a similar user name and never having heard of EA I have finally moved out from my family home after many many years of marriage!
I moved my stuff out last week while H was at work but left a couple of things behind by mistake.
Tonight I went home to retrieve them as I knew H would be out and I find he’s double locked the front door using a new lock!
We joint own our house and are still paying the mortgage.
Can he legally do this?
His argument is he doesn’t even know where my new rental is. Has he got a point?
While I’m at it just want to say thank you to all you fabulous MNetters for your support over the years.

He has done this for one of two reasons.

One, he is playing a game and wants to provoke a reaction from you. Typically that would to catch you trying to gain access. Which will be lots of drama. Then he can go to court to demand an occupation order. He will probably accuse you of invading his privacy and a lot of other things besides. All you will get is stress and costs. He will be happy with any outcome that rattles and provokes you.

Two, he assumes you have moved out and wants to have some privacy. Which is what most reasonable people would want when they separate. The idea that ex’s can come and go at will is creepy whether you are a man or a woman. And if this issue goes to court his privacy will be respected whether you have an interest in his home or not. This will cost you money, stress and end in failure.

What do you want to achieve here? If you need to pick up a few things then arrange it with him.

The situation with the dog is untenable. It’s not in your interests to be going into his home at random. It will cause aggregation for you and for him if you don’t come to an understanding on either sharing the dog or agreeing one of you keeps the dog.

Ok thank you. I can see it from his POV. He won’t let me have the dog, even though he’s both of ours, so I guess I’ll just have to arrange with him to take it for walks.

@Rebornagain

Surely the husband has the right to privacy when you move out?

If you do enter home you have to pay the locksmith

No, not while she's joint owner.

No she doesn't. He has no right to change or add locks.

@Castlepeak

You moved out. It’s not unreasonable for him to change the locks, even if you own the property. Women do this all the time when their husband’s leave the family home.

Contact him and tell him you need to obtain some of your things. If he is reasonable and gets them to you quickly, let it go. If he doesn’t, then you can make an issue about the locks.

Women are advised to do it when their husband or partner is abusive or violent, to protect themselves from harm.

The house, the dog, he doesn't get to decide. He's not the bloody boss !! Get a GOOD solicitor

@category12

You can't routinely go back to the house when he's not there, that's really not cool.

Really you should give warning of when you need to go there "I need to pick up x on this date, I'll be round at y time" or whatever.

If you want to see the dog, you need to agree it, not just sneak around.

Yes she can. Legally it's her house, she can go whenever she likes.

My mum had this, and was told if he wouldn't let her in she could get a police escort.

What she can do legally and what she should do if she wants a quick and painless divorce are two very different things.

Yes she can. Legally it's her house, she can go whenever she likes.
My mum had this, and was told if he wouldn't let her in she could get a police escort.

Even if it's legal, it's not cool. There's what you can do, and what's the respectful thing to do.

If positions were reversed, OP wouldn't want him going in and out of the house whenever he felt like it.

You are entitled to break in if you joint own. Get your stuff and the dog.

OP, you have an interest in the property. That is not in doubt. But having an interest does not give people rights of access. This is nothing to do with being a woman or a man. Nor does it only apply in cases of abuse.

He should provide access for good reason if you give notice. He should recognise your interest in the property. This includes any claim to re-occupy at a point in the future.

It’s now his home. You have your home. You need to respect each other’s privacy.

Don’t get dragged into a game of locksmiths, the police or unnecessary legal action. Ask for your stuff to be returned and suggest you agree how to have access to the dog. Your offering free dog walking. But that can’t go on forever.

@category12

You can't routinely go back to the house when he's not there, that's really not cool.

Really you should give warning of when you need to go there "I need to pick up x on this date, I'll be round at y time" or whatever.

If you want to see the dog, you need to agree it, not just sneak around.

Finally, a sensible response.

Whilst it might not be ‘cool’, the OP can actually come and go as she pleases. It’s the law.

@Cherrysoup

Whilst it might not be ‘cool’, the OP can actually come and go as she pleases. It’s the law.

No it’s not.

@LemonTT

The law is quite clear that where the property is jointly owned (ie, held by the two parties in joint names) each of them is permitted to enter that property without conditions. This is the case even if one of them has moved out following their separation

Lock changes do not change the right to enter.

Obviously it'd be better and safer if OP could arrange it without changing the locks again, but she could perfectly legally if she needed to.

www.familylaw.co.uk/news_and_comment/what-rights-do-you-have-to-the-family-home-when-you-separate

@winniemum I bet you'd look after the dog better than him so I would take it, too. Do anything you need to do, then have all further contact through solicitors/agents etc.

I had to get my locks changed and the locksmith didn't ask me for any ID/paperwork or anything BTW.

Whilst he should not have changed the locks, you going round whilst he's out, is unwise.

Yes, legally you can. But what are your motives? Are you genuinely going to collect your things or were you going to take the dog?

If you can talk to arrange shared dog walking, you can talk to arrange to collect your belongings.

If he won't allow you access, then you contact the police. Please don't escalate to point-score.

FYI my ex did this. Came round and took the dog whilst we were out. My kids were devastated.

All the best op

I had to get my locks changed and the locksmith didn't ask me for any ID/paperwork or anything BTW.

Where you already inside the property when you called them to change the lock?

If you're locked out and you need a Locksmith to get you in, they have to ask for proof, otherwise you could be anyone.

@WorraLiberty Ah ok lol that makes sense, otherwise anyone could do it. :) I suppose OP could break in before doing it though. I was somehow locked out- I think a friend broke in for me and then I called the locksmith. Not many theives are going to put a replacement door in I guess. :)

Difficult one.

How would you feel if the shoe was on the other foot !? He could come and change the locks, then come and go into your house at his pleasure. Come and legally take the dog.

Or you meet someone new, invite him round but every time your new man comes to your house, you ( stbx) husband turns up.

Or you go round while he’s out. He then accuses you of stealing thousands of pounds of his personal stuff. And gets the police involved!?

If he won’t be reasonable, get a SHL and go the legal route.

Hi @winniemum

I have experience of the situation you are in. I had to leave a abusive relationship but we jointly owned a property and a dog.

Please ignore the people who are saying this is not cool or illegal for you to enter the property, they obviously have not been through what you have been through.

I would need to go my house when my exh wasn’t there, I would be terrified and have to take someone with me who would wait outside. People don’t understand how giving notice to the ex could put you in danger.

My ex changed the locks and I had to get them changed fortunately I had paperwork (if I hadn’t of taken it he would have destroyed it). The locksmith changed the locks for me after seeing paperwork (they even gave me a huge discount when they found out why).

Íf you jointly own the property you can go in whenever you want, if your ex wanted privacy they could also move out like you have had to. Your partner has the right to move anything they don’t want you to see out of the property, I wouldn’t suggest going through their things that is invading privacy, which is immoral, not illegal.

I would get a neighbour to witness what I had taken in case he tried to say I had stolen anything but again this isn’t really a case for the police as he would have to prove you had taken it and he wasn’t just doing it out of spite.

As for the dog, I also had to give mine up. It became too upsetting to see him and probably wasn’t fair on the dog. My ex had bought the dog but I paid for all the vets fees, insurance and healthcare plans, it was a sticking point in the divorce. I couldn’t take the dog with me as I was renting a flat until my ex bought me out of my share of the house which took him ages to get round to.

18 months after leaving, everything was finally over, I had the divorce, was buying a new house and I had met someone. Now 3 years on from them I am pregnant with my first child and don’t ever look back.

Also he has no right to know where you are living as he does not contribute at all.

Well done for having the courage to leave, it’s not easy. Good luck with everything

To clarify, I think op is perfectly entitled to go get her stuff one way or another, and yes she has the legal right. My first post in the thread was about that. And yes if he's abusive doing it on the quiet makes sense, but given he's changed the locks, that horse has bolted.

But I have a different opinion about her planning to go back routinely when she thinks he's not there. That's the bit that's unnecessary (and uncool), and potentially provocative and dangerous.

@LemonTT honestly, I’m hardly going to post that if it isn’t true! Feel like I’m in a ruddy pantomime! ‘Oh yes, it is!’

No, he can change the locks or add new ones but he has to give you copy of the keys, which defeats the object. My aunt was advised by her lawyer who told her her twat husband owns half the place, he has a right to access, twat or no twat.

[quote Cherrysoup]@LemonTT honestly, I’m hardly going to post that if it isn’t true! Feel like I’m in a ruddy pantomime! ‘Oh yes, it is!’[/quote]
You are not in a pantomime. Just don’t reply to a post if it annoys you.

The OP will not be able to do as she pleases, as any legal advisor will tell her. Once this is perceived to tip over into harm the outcome is likely to be an accusation of harassment. This will result in other laws, criminal ones, being invoked and that will support any civil action he wants to take to stop her coming near him, the house and the dog.

It is important that anyone being subject to an ex coming in and out of their home thinks it’s not something that can be stopped. Because it’s usually women who are subject to this type is harassment. It can be stopped legally.