What is your split of domestics?

[Heartofstrings]

Just a curious one really. Husband has an exam today and asked me to quickly iron his clothes to help out. Cue rabbit in headlights look!
Who does what in your house? Pink and blue if you wish...
Food shop - either
Ironing- dh
Cooking evening meal- dh
Laundry- me
School drop off - me
School pick up- dh
Therapies for ds1- dh
Communications with School- dh (yet School ring me first every time - we have almost daily communication)
Swimming lessons - me
Changing bedsheets- me
Cleaning kitchen- dh
Tidying toys- generally me

Obviously not a full list

All cooking - DH
Empty Bins - DH
Load and empty Dishwasher - DH
Lawnmowing - DH
House Cleaning - we do it together and take a room at a time
Bed changing - we do it together
School runs - do it together or whoever is free to go
Food shopping - mostly me but whoever is free
Laundry - me
Ironing - me
Clearing out kids outgrown clothes - me
Kids Packing for holidays - me
Booking restaurant/ holiday / childcare - me
Arranging to see friends / family - me

Cleaning and tidying -me
Laundry - me but I don’t iron anything
Bins-me
Recycling -DH
Anything to do with the garden -DH
Food shopping-DH
General household admin - 2/3 me
Arranging the weekend/socials - mainly me
Taking stuff to the dump -DH
Odd DIY jobs - we pay someone to do them.

Food shop - mostly him
Ironing- what?
Cooking evening meal- mostly me in the week, him at weekends
Laundry- 70/30 split me
School drop off - 50/50
School pick up- 50/50
Clubs/extracurricular - 2/3 him, 1/3 me
Communications with School- me
Swimming lessons - him
Changing bedsheets- him
Cleaning kitchen- him
Tidying toys- me

Bins/garden/DIY/car - all him
Kids clothes - me
Social & holiday organisation - me

OH
Morning school run
Lawn mowing
Barbecuing
Takes kids to sports activities
Sorts home insurance
Hoovering
Fixing bikes

Shared
Bins
Washing up
Laundry
Cooking
Food shopping
Booking holidays/days out
Kids play dates
Childcare / bedtimes

Me:
Afternoon school run
Kids school stuff
Most of the finance stuff e.g., mortgage, savings etc
All the car stuff
Kids clothes/shoes
Decorating/furnishing
Dusting/cleaning bathrooms (DP can’t see dust)

Food shopping - me
Meal planning - me
Cooking - me
Ensuring DC get their meals - me
Tidying shared spaces - both
Tidying DC spaces - me
Coordinating anything for DC like childcare new clothes play dates etc - me
Feeding dog - DH
Walking dog - both
Clearing up after dinner - DH
Bins - DH
Laundry - me
Garden - DH
Tip runs - DH
Getting things from the outside freezer - DH
Finances - DH
Coordinating any type of workman / utility person etc - DH
Quite traditional actually which is strange now I look at it, as we are both high earners and consider ourselves very much equal partners in our marriage.

Food shop - me, but he adds to the cart (online)
Ironing- no one
Cooking evening meal- me
Laundry- me
Nursery run - split depending on shift
Communications with Nursery- me
Changing bedsheets- I strip, he dresses
Cleaning kitchen- both
Emptying bin - both
Cleaning floors - him
Cleaning bathroom - 80/20 split me
Garden - 80/20 split him
Household admin - me
Car - Cleaning & general maintenance him, booking mot/service etc me
Tidying toys- me

Right, well, to avoid typing out a list,
95% of things (physical load) - me
100% (mental load) - me
A bit of washing up, putting the bin out, cutting the grass four or five times a year - him

Other half packs the dishwasher after dinner.... That's about it I do the rest and pay people do the lawns and pool maintenance to take those chores out of the way. They were his chores but he hardly did it and to get him to would cost me hours of harping and him getting the shits. So I pay people now.

Meal planning - me
Cooking - me 75%, DH 25%
Ensuring DC get their meals - me
Tidying shared spaces - me
Tidying DC spaces - me
Coordinating anything for DC like childcare new clothes play dates etc - me
Clearing up after dinner - me
Bins - me
Laundry - I do mine and childrens, refuse to do DHs
Garden - me weeding, mowing gardener
Finances and admin - me 100%
Coordinating any type of workman / utility person etc - me
Cleaning/vacumming - me/cleaner

DH does next to nothing so I subcontract as much as possible which he is happy to pay for. Supposedly his job is so stressful he has no mental capacity to think about anything outside work although will do a bit of cooking and diy. I refuse to do his laundry or bed linen so he sorts it when he can be bothered. He has a seperate bedroom because he snores.

He puts the bin out sometimes and loads the dishwasher.
Other than that I do absolutely everything.
He works full time I'm a sahm to four school age kids.

We're a pretty equal team and share responsibilities at home. I do a bit less as his shifts means he has 6 days off as apposed to my measly 2.

DH:
Lawns
Bins out
Laundry
Vacuum
Clean shower
Oil wooden worktops
Cleans out Guinea Pigs

Me:
Polish
Change bedding
Clean bathroom
Mop
Finances
Ironing
School lunches
DDs hair

Both/ either:
Food Shop
Cook meals
Laundry
Clean kitchen
Kids bathtime

Wow so fascinating. Thankyou all for sharing. I find it interesting how other people's lives compare. We are currently a bit of an unusual mix due to working patterns as we almost have a 50/50 childcare split. Unfortunately due to opposite work patterns we rarely get to parent together

All cooking - me (every meal everyday)
All cleaning - me
Sorting clothes - me sometimes dh hangs out clothes but never sorts and puts away
Homework and school related drop of etc - me
Bed changes - dh
Organising activities for dc - me

Dh works longer hours and does bins and lawns. Our house is, long term renovation project so he does work harder overall.
I recently stopped ironing his shirts to make a point.
He doesn't know what the dc have in their lunch. I sort all their uniforms and iron ready for school each day. I do like cleaning and stuff and tend to batch cook so not stuck to the kitchen all day.

When we both worked full time it was a 50/50 split after we drew up a chart because of all the arguing 🤣
Now I work 2 days, he works 4. I do most of the housework / all finances / all food shopping and most of the cooking.
He does washing / ironing, sorts the cats out (food, litter), cooks 2 meals a week, hoovers up everywhere, all the work involved in maintaining a wood burner. We both do the garden.

At the moment

Shopping and cooking -DH

Cleaning - more or less split equally between us, teenage kids help too.

Admin - me

Garden - DH but it’s pretty neglected.

School runs/DD work commute - 50/50 (I do am he does pm).

I work 48 hrs across 5 shifts, he works 37hrs, weekdays, but from home with bits and bobs of overtime. He earns about 4x my wage though.

He does bins, I do everything else.

It's a joke really
Dh is putting a wash on. He is showing me items and should he put them in.
The should he turn it on.
I hate this shit on a Sunday morning when I want a break from housework.

I do most of the stuff mentioned on these lists, he however is wonderful at diy and decorating and loves car maintenance which saves us an absolute fortune. I view it as I do the day to day and he does the big stuff. We both work full time although his job is much more intense and full on than mine. It absolutely works for us and I wouldn’t change a thing......well maybe he could have a quick wipe round the bathrooms and stuff a bit more often, although if you ask him I’m sure he would like it if I occasionally thought to check my own tyre pressure. I think in all honesty trying to make things totally 50:50 won’t work and each of us working to our own strengths and managing our own stuff fully is preferable.

Bins-DH
Gardening, mowing the lawn-DH
DIY-DH
Cooking-me
Tidying toys- shared
Hoovering- shared
Mopping- shared
School drop off- DH
School pick up- me
All kids activities- me
All school communication- me
Washing- me
Dishwasher- me
Food shopping- me (online mostly)
Bed linen change- shared

He works full time and I'm a SAHM

Food shop - me if online, DH in person (about 50% each)
Laundry - each do our own
Ironing - each do our own
Bathroom - clean one each
Kitchen clean - 80/20 falling to me
Dusting / vacuuming - 90 / 10 to me
Hard floor steam cleaning - DH
Emptying bins - both, but DH takes the weekly bin down
Cooking - 60/40 to DH
Walking dogs - 90/10 to DH
Cat litter tray - me
Life admin - me

Me - everything, school related, kids related house related, most of the DIY, life admin etc etc
Both - gardening - I do the maintenance of weeding and grass cutting he does planning, planting and big cutting back.
DH - car washing, electrical / water / appliance fixes
DH works full time and some, I work part time term time.
We are fairly traditional in our roles but it's what we both want and it works for us.
Jobs might be split I suppose to gender traditional but all decisions, money and life choose are made together as an equal partnership

Me: all school admin. Vacuuming/cleaning floors. Cleaning the bathroom. General tidying up and putting away. Meal planning. Changing beds.

Shared: laundry. Loading/unloading dishwasher. Washing pots. Cooking meals. Food shopping. Bills/life admin.

DH: bins. Gardening. DIY. Decorating. Ironing.

I work a full 24/7/365 shift pattern while he works Monday to Friday, so he might do more than me one week but much less the next, but we seem to have struck a pretty good balance.

DH takes DD to school and picks her up 2, sometimes 3 times a week. He takes the bins out, and goes to the shops if we run out of bread or milk etc in-between our weekly shop. I do everything else, we have 3DC