I always get broken up with for the same reason

[swanlakesteps]

All 3 of my relationships have ended because the other person thinks I'm too good for them. They say that I deserve better and that they think they don't deserve me.

I feel like I'm doing something wrong because it's the same reason every time, but I don't know what. I just needed to have a short vent on here because I'm so tired of it happening .

The only thing that I would say, it is do nothing take that phrase at face value. Nobody leaves anyone who is too good for them, you grab them with both hands and do not let them go.

I guess it is about looking into yourself to try to find why your relationships are not progressing, sometimes it could be down to you, sometimes it won’t, but the important thing is to learn of each experience so the issue doesn’t ruin the next relationship.

The only thing you can know for sure when you get that line is that the person doesn’t want to hurt you further with their views.

“Do not take that phrase at face value” I meant to say.

“You are too good for me” only means “you are not good enough for me but I don’t want to tell you why”

I think also that you maybe are going for people who have issues.

So GF no.1 admitted to having self esteem issues. That’s nothing to do with you really. GF no. 2 needed therapy. Also nothing to do with you. GF no. 3 you don’t know why.

So there’s no evidence you’re doing anything wrong. It doesn’t ‘keep’ happening. And you don’t really know what’s been going on in their minds. You’re overgeneralising, personalising, mind reading and possibly mental filtering. These are all Cognitive Distortions. Might be worth reading about the subject?

You're just choosing women who 'need rescuing.'
They probably all have sef esteem issues. And do truly believe you are too good for them.
It comes across as you have a happy, confident life that was probably built on love and trust as a child and these women probably didn't. So they see themselves as less than you.
You haven't done anything wrong. You just need to be more mindful of the kind of women you choose.

Haven’t read the full thread but could it be a class/money/looks/education thing? Are you and your friends all educated/thin/pretty/happy/rich and do activities and hobbies and go to places that the person you are dating is not accustomed to or feels out of place or just cannot afford long term?

Are you critical of them or do you live to a strong ethical standard that they feel they can't attain, i.e. are you dating within your ethical set? Some of my family think I look down on them, I don't, and I'm not critical of them, but being around me and my way of living makes them feel bad about themselves. You post made me wonder about this for you.

It really is just a terrible line