bf has gone quiet

[crazycatlady20]

sorry for the long message - Everything was fine with my bf, texting/calls were equal and daily etc. he called me to say he was being sent to hospital and would keep in touch, which he did. day after he said things were bad and stopped really replying, said he was tired and had a bit of go at me for texting and said we maybe should split.

next morning he said he needed space to sort his health. I tried to find out if we were OK and what did 'space' mean to him. but he said by messaging I was pushing him away.

we have been together a year and last few months have been tough for him.

I left him alone yesterday bar a morning msg to say hope he was OK and afternoon to ask if he was still in hospital. he replied with a short message, no chit chat.

I understand he may need space but feel really pushed out, I'm worried about him and don't know whats going on with us.

should I leave him be, is this normal behaviour? I will feel really anxious doing this if I don't know where I stand. or should I text to say we are a couple, how I feel, not to push me away?

I know this is a small problem.but I spent yesterday in tears worrying about him and not knowing.

Please don't text him again. That's all, as everyone has said it all.

He's asked you repeatedly to give him space and you keep texting him.

This would give me a rage to be sick and someone keep pestering me.
Yes, I've had someone do that to me.

If someone is into you, you'll never have to ask if you're good with them or where you stand.

So stop texting him!

OP I would stop texting him permanently! Is he going to do this everytime he has a problem? Leaving you hanging on tenterhooks, that's a horrible way to live. A lot of people use 'needing space' as a cowardly way to phase someone out, or keep you on the backburner. I don't think you're being needy, you have a right to know where you stand! I think if he cared about you he would give you some reassurance which he isn't by mentioning splitting, you deserve better.

I agree with pp, stop messaging him now. He's asked for space so show him you can give it. See if/when he contacts you next. Don't act desperate or needy, it will make him run further away.

Also consider whether you want this relationship, he doesnt sound very appreciative of you at this point.

next time he or anyone else asks for space - give it to them. They always come running back and then I just don't reply lol.

He has told you that he doesn't want to chat, or have text messages, so just go along with that for now, and see what happens later.

People don't "need space" in a relationship they want to keep. Why would they? it doesn't even make sense. "Oh honey, I love you so much that I want you to go away for awhile?' Nah, they'd be terrified that the other person would not come back. Can you see yourself ever saying that to HIM?

I think he wants out but is hoping to get out of the drama of a break up. I guess he thinks you will just wander off and fade out and forget him and that by the time you talk about it, you won't care anymore.

I do get your point completely though and agree that you don't have to "give him space." You have every right to a clear answer if that's what you want and you can easily get it.

If you want, text or call him and tell him you don't appreciate being left hanging and that if he doesn't call you back within one hour, you will consider the relationship over. Then do it. Fuck his "needing space."

One thing I do when I'm at the end of my rope is clean my place from top to bottom. Clean out the old and leave fresh new space for the good things to come. Sorry and hope you get to a better place soon.

@crazycatlady20

I'm fine for someone needing space.

I would have been fine if he hadn't mentioned possibly splitting.  messages were normal until he said he needed space then my initial message was really, we're we still OK (as he'd not answered previously)  how long roughly and did he mean no contact or still the odd text. 

as I said I'm happy to give him space just think he should say what his intentions are. it was him who brought it up not me.

If someone I'd been seeing suggested that we should split, I'd take it as a loud and clear message he doesn't want the relationship any more.

Wish him well and walk away. Find someone who wants to be with you.

You have been told umpteen times on here to give him space. You said you have no problem giving him space, then next thing you text him yet again. Leave the man alone.

@crimsonlake

You have been told umpteen times on here to give him space. You said you have no problem giving him space, then next thing you text him yet again. Leave the man alone.

I'd give him the entire cosmos and end it, I'm afraid, for good.

You need to stop the hand wringing and give him the space he wants. Stop contacting him and go and see some friends, go to the gym, see family. He isn't the centre of your universe and isn't going to make you happy. Step away.

I've already said I'll give him some space but

Surely the ball is now in his court, for him to get in touch if/when he is ready.

If you are not happy with that, you could say so but it seems a bit mean not giving him the space he asks for.

Why are you anxious ? Maybe a good idea to work through that while you are in this limbo.

He doesn't want to be with you. Stop messaging him and move on

He wants to end the relationship so listen to him and stop contacting him. I know it’s horrible and difficult especially if he hasn’t told you why he’s suddenly feeling this way but you really need to preserve your self respect and try to move on.