Tell me your stories of finding happiness after being cheated on

[SorryAboutTheTypos]

Has anyone had a happy ending after being cheated on?

I separated from my husband recently after his emotional and physical affair and I’m really struggling to imagine a happy future. I’d love to hear your stories of your happy endings to give me so hope.

I’ve been cheated on in every relationship I’ve ever had and I’m starting to think I’m not destined to be loved.

Hey... I've been in a similar situation to you. It's hard but don't ever lose faith that there isn't someone out there for you, who will treat you the way you deserve xx

Ok here goes. ExH cheated on me after 15 years of marriage. I didn't think I could go on I was that heartbroken.
Got myself on Tinder and met a fabulous man. We are having the best sex of my life and he is an amazing emotional support.
But more importantly I have grown exponentially as a person since that heartbreak and betrayal. It gave me the bravery to break out of the co--dependant mould exh and I had created. I realised how controlling he was and how much I was limiting myself being with him.
He and OW have since split and he's admitted the misery was his alone (and he's still miserable).
The best part was believing enough in myself to say that I deserved more than a lying cheater.

My ex had an affair with a colleague who was 20 years his junior and had an asymmetric bob haircut while we were going through fertility treatment. Came home one day with a terrible black eye having been caught and given a great thump by her fiance. It was all a terrible shock.

The good part of the story is that, actually, I really did just get over it. I thought I never would but it just...went away. It took a good couple of years of putting one foot in front of the other and creating a new world to live in, and then things suddenly came together and got a lot better.

I found that I toddled along, just keeping going, and then everything slotted into place at once. Sorted the house and bought a new one, met someone lovely doing online dating (didn't have to date any frogs, just went on a series of dates that felt like drinks with pleasant new colleagues before meeting one that absolutely didn't feel like that), got a new job, all that jazz.

I didn't have children, which is a real shame, but my partner has a daughter who I love and who is an utter joy. Life turned out pretty good.

Possibly the beginning of recovery was visiting my ex's mum and hearing his elderly and nice-to-everyone mother say he was 'a total big prick'. Enjoyed that very much.

Thank you for sharing. Keep the stories coming, it’s nice to read them all and dream of a happier life.

Just piggybacking on your thread OP to say I'm really sorry, this has also happened to me very recently and I would also love to hear the positive stories. Sending you solidarity x

@SorryAboutTheTypos I'm sorry you feel this way, if it's any comfort I feel exactly the same as you, days like today it's hard to imagine I will ever feel happy again as I'm trying to heal from painful experiences including being cheated on. People say time heals but it doesn't feel like that's true sometimes.

Yes! Me! Honestly, I remember your pain. I kept having this weird fantasy that I could “fast forward” to 12 months away when I hoped I’d feel better.

Anyway I was devastated. Completely crushed. Couldn’t imagine loving anyone else. 5 years later. Been with boyf for 3 years. He’s the kindest, most loving man. I’m so grateful it happened as it brought me to a much happier part of my life

You will get over it. It will just take time. You can’t skip that bit - hugs

I'm sorry you are going through this - I remember the pain only too well.

However. I had a couple of years of being miserable, feeling like I was never going to be happy again. Then one day my sister rang and asked if I remembered "X", who had been my first love many years ago and who worked with her DH. "X" had asked her DH if I was still around and if I would be interested in talking . I said yes, and for 9 months we talked online. Then I flew to his city, he met me at the airport, and we've been together ever since. We've been married for 13 years and I'm the happiest that I've ever been.

So yes it is possible to be happy again. When I see my ex at family events, he looks so pathetic to me now. I'm living my best life and I feel nothing but pity towards him. He looks pale and old, and his partner ( who was the OW) looks grizzled and wrinkly like an old prune. Good luck to them, I feel nothing towards them now.

Best wishes to you - you'll be fine, it just takes some time .

With ex for 25 years, from 15 - 40. Four kids. He had a year long affair. I kicked him out. I've found the love of my life. Blissfully happy (still live apart as kids come first!).
Op it hasn't been easy and four years on I'm still dealing with some shit from ex but it was honestly for the best.
Good luck

still waiting ..........

@SorryAboutTheTypos
I’ve been cheated on in every relationship I’ve ever had and I’m starting to think I’m not destined to be loved.

same - not putting myself through the heart ache anymore

Cheated on and emotionally abused by my ex who also stole money for me and fraudulently applied for a loan in my name

Got away with help of Mumsnet and women's aid early 2018.

Met a lovely guy on bumble about 7 years later, honest, hardworking and so kind and considerate. We're now married, own a house and pregnant with first baby.

I felt so broken in 2018 and that I would never love or trust again. I now thank my
Lucky stars everyday that that shit show of a relationship ended and I am genuinely happy.

I don't even harbour any ill feelings towards ex really. I recently found out he attempted suicide twice since the pandemic and lost his job, felt nothing but pity especially towards his gf who seems younger than me and probably equally stuck now as I was

It’s so sad reading about all the heartache you’ve all been through, but good to hear so many of you have found happiness again.

For those of you who did, how did you learn to trust again? Was it just time or was there more to it? My ex was a very manipulative liar, I can’t imagine being able to trust again.

Time and a very patient dh who showed me time and and time again that I had every reason to trust him and no reason not to.

I guess I'll always wonder a tiny bit in the back of my mind but that's got to be true of everyone surely? Can anyone ever guarantee their partner won't cheat??
I would categorise that very minor occasional thought now as on the same level for me as anyone els

A bit of a different reply as I'm still single so mine isn't based on meeting the live of my life......

Caught my exH of 10 years cheating when my DC was 14 months. A year long affair with someone I knew pretty well that started 4 weeks after DC was born. Completely broken heard and had to adapt being a single mum.

4 years of OLD dating later and I've met some lovely guys and had a few short term 'relationships' but nothing serious.

However, I would say that after years of being desperate and obsessing over meeting my 'happily ever after' it's suddenly stuck me how happy I am with just me & DC. Happier than I've ever been in my life in fact!

Would still love to meet someone but I'm now in a place where I know what I want and won't settle for anything that doesn't make me & DC 100% happy. In a way it's making dating even harder but I'm so happy just now with amazing family & friends, great job, good house that part of me has lost interest in dating as I no longer feel I have a void to fill!

You don't always need to meet someone else to be happy ❤️

@kiddo5467 that’s a lovely story, thanks for sharing it. I’d love to get to that place. At the moment the house feels so quiet without him here and I miss having someone to randomly chatter to about my day, but hopefully
in time I’ll get used to it. I’m starting to realise that I’ve adapted to much over the years to like what he likes that I’ve forgotten a bit who I am so I’m trying to work hard to figure it out. Hopefully in time I’ll find what I like and find happiness in myself.

I lost a few years of my life as the wonderful partner turned out to be a lying violent arsehole.

He lost someone who thought the world of him.

[quote SorryAboutTheTypos]@kiddo5467 that’s a lovely story, thanks for sharing it. I’d love to get to that place. At the moment the house feels so quiet without him here and I miss having someone to randomly chatter to about my day, but hopefully
in time I’ll get used to it. I’m starting to realise that I’ve adapted to much over the years to like what he likes that I’ve forgotten a bit who I am so I’m trying to work hard to figure it out. Hopefully in time I’ll find what I like and find happiness in myself.[/quote]
It will happen for you too, it just takes time.

I can completely relate to how you're feeling tho that you've adapted to being with him so much and most yourself. It's the small things. I remember walking round a supermarket with no idea what meals I wanted to make as I was so used to making 'our' favourites or what 'he' liked. The first time that hit me I left the shop in tears....after a while it felt more liberating and a whole new world opened up to me. I could literally buy what I wanted and make my OWN favourites. I couldn't even remember what they were at first but I felt so free just walking around looking and chucking random things into the trolley.

Same with tv. My exH hated reality tv so we never sat and watched love island etc. And for the first time in years I could just lie and relax and have complete freedom to choose!

I'm making him sound like a complete control freak and as much as he was an arse he wasn't actually controlling. It's just after years of compromising and adapting to each other you do lose yourself a bit!

I do sometimes worry that I've got too comfortable and gone too far the other way. I was dating someone for a few months last year and noticed that when we had to agree on what to watch on the tv or cook for dinner i almost resented not getting my own way!

The best relationship I've had since my exH lasted 9 months but he worked offshore so was home 3 weeks then away 3 weeks - think this would now be my ideal 😂

My exH visited dodgy massage parlours for happy endings and god knows what else. it felt as if my world had ended when i found out. I stayed with him for almost two years after finding out as I really tried to save the marriage and he was truly sorry. And then one day it hit me I didn’t want him around me any more.
I’m happily single (i have kids from my first marriage), seeing a lovely guy who’s happy with a FWB but exclusive set-up, and basically enjoying my life. I do not want to have another live-in partner, i find i have more time to myself now and I want it to stay this way. I am happy and you will be too

@GotBeatenUp I’m so very sorry that happened to you. I hope you find happiness in future, you deserve better than how he treated you.

@kiddo5467 don’t worry I didn’t read it as him being controlling. I sometimes worry that I make my ex sound controlling when I talk about him as I’d often say “he didn’t want to do this, or he wanted to do that”, but it’s more about getting into the habit of living life as a constant compromise, having to consider someone else’s feelings in every decision. It’s strange to only have to think about my own opinion when deciding what to do now. I’m slowly figuring out what I like. It’s strange, I miss being in a relationship, but I do like the freedom of making all the decisions.

@Bengal12 sounds like you are loving my dream. I’m so glad it’s all worked out for you. Gives me some hope that maybe one day I can get there too.

I was married for twelve years to an absolute bastard who put his hands on me, thought I'd never be able to manage on my own. Left him and 6 weeks later I met the most amazing man, that was 8 years ago and we're getting married.

@Bengal12 living not loving