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Original poster

Found dodgy calls and messages

31 replies

Nescafegold1234 · 24/05/2021 00:38

So an hour ago I asked DH to show me a photo on his work phone, a photo he took of DC today, and when he picked it up he seemed a bit dodgy about it. He kept it away from me until he found the said pic. Then he passed me the phone, I looked at the photo but then I saw there were a couple of unread messages. He grabbed the phone back, but I found it a bit strange.

I know his password so when he went to bed I looked. There were a couple of calls to a number that had no name on it, 2 of them were rejected on Friday evening, I assume because I was around. 10 mins before these calls, this person sent a message saying 'i can't talk right now, I'll call back when I'm free'. I put the number on my whatsup and the profile pic is of a very beautiful woman, but with a partner and a boy, about 5, 6 years old. I looked at the calls history and it looks like DH has been calling her every day since Wed. On Thu he kept asking me when I'm leaving the house with DC, almost like he was very keen for me to leave, and I looked at the Thu call history and he called this number literally the minute we went out. Then 30 mins later that day he texted me saying that he had an emergency and had to go into work, which even at the time I thought was very odd. I looked now into the Thu work history and there is nothing saying that he actually went into work at all.

How do I find out who this person is? I tried looking for this number on FB but couldn't find anything.

OP posts:
LouiseTrees · 24/05/2021 00:46

I wouldn’t jump to dodgy from what you’ve said. In my line of work due to client confidentiality we are very protective with our work phones. We also regularly have things we need to do and I ask my husband when he’ll let me go do them without saying what it is I’m actually doing because some of the conversations to be honest could be national news stories of shared incorrectly given the nature of them and shouldn’t be divulged outwith the need to know group. What kind of job does he actually do?

SleepingStandingUp · 24/05/2021 00:46

Well you have her number so realistically the only way you'll find out who she is is to call her. What she'll admit to though is going to be limited realistically.

Could you arrange another time you'll be out with DC, give it 30 minutes then come back?

Original poster
Nescafegold1234 · 24/05/2021 00:50

@LouiseTrees there is nothing confidential about his work and he never behaved like that before. There was also a voice mail from her which he deleted, but it sits in his deleted items. Not sure what to think about this, he would never reject phone calls, if it was work he'd answer.

OP posts:
messybun101 · 24/05/2021 00:56

You already sound quite tech savvy op. I'd just suggest some of the other platforms to search the number i.e LinkedIn & Instagram.

There is a way you can text a number a link and when they click it shows their location but this is on the assumption they actually click it though so might not be much help

Have you had suspicions before?
Do you think he's meeting her? If so, check satnav and maps history

Original poster
Nescafegold1234 · 24/05/2021 01:01

@messybun101 he is a bit of an ogler, so this is not coming as a shock. Oh yes, good idea checking the satnav. Not sure whether he's meeting her or not, but the Thu emergency sounded a bit off even as he texted me that day and I can see he's got nothing to prove that he went into work. Very very odd, as he's told me this long story about what the emergency was which was totally believable.

OP posts:
Ciaobaby92 · 24/05/2021 01:11

Pretty odd about the long story. That can be a red flag. Can you get on smartbackgroundchecks.com. it will tell you who the phone number belongs to, addresses and everything.

oopsydaisyyy · 24/05/2021 01:16

@Ciaobaby92

Pretty odd about the long story. That can be a red flag. Can you get on smartbackgroundchecks.com. it will tell you who the phone number belongs to, addresses and everything.
this is useful, didn't know about ths
Fuckingidiots123 · 24/05/2021 01:16

Its my number
GrinGrin

messybun101 · 24/05/2021 01:21

Is it strange for him to use his work phone for this type of contact rather than his personal or could it be just to hide it from you?

You're right about the 'emergency' being odd. If the evidence on his phone is right for Thursday and he definitely wasn't at work then the big dramatic story will probably confirm a personal relationship more than friendship with this woman otherwise why lie.

No matter what, he's being sketchy and I think you're right to be concerned

user1481840227 · 24/05/2021 01:35

You could do a google image search of her image and see if you find anything.
I'm not sure if you can do that on a phone but if you have a laptop or computer then you can log into whatsapp web, click on her profile picture, then right click it and click on search google for image!

subbysammiexoxo · 24/05/2021 01:35

people saying not to jump to conclusion stop being so naïve it is 100 percent another woman

Original poster
Nescafegold1234 · 24/05/2021 01:35

@messybun101 if my suspicions are right, he's using his phone to hide this from me. Very few people call him on his personal phone, he barely uses it.

OP posts:
Original poster
Nescafegold1234 · 24/05/2021 01:37

I meant his work phone

OP posts:
Original poster
Nescafegold1234 · 24/05/2021 02:14

I think I found the answer. He's been in touch with a guy for some work we have to do on our house this summer. They spoke every day this week and so the number belongs to the guy in the photo, not the woman. I don't know now about the Thu emergency and why he's a bit dodgy with his phone, but I know now it's not this number.

My gut was wrong on this occasion.

OP posts:
messybun101 · 24/05/2021 02:20

Hmm. Fishy fishy!!

Do you know of any prior cheating or EA?

I also meant to mention previous posters comments on not jumping to conclusions. This is completely different to her experience. Hers was honest and work related. I'm confident your DH's is not. Sorry op...

Now my brain is ticking about the other places you can check @Nescafegold1234
What about, the deleted folder in the photo section of the phone? I'm thinking about iPhone though I wouldn't know Samsung. So, from 'albums' scroll to the bottom and there's a folder for pictures deleted that keeps in the phone for 30 days.
Also, rather than fb direct you could search fb messenger with the number. I don't have an active profile but I kept the messenger and can be found by people who search for me. If the number gives you the profile you'll have the name too and voila!
Snapchat too - again, just a number search. If it's a profile with standard security then when you 'add friend' (wouldn't suggest doing if from your own!) you'll be able to see the person on the map too and can get a doorframe view

messybun101 · 24/05/2021 02:27

Ah great to know!!
Re my last reply - I'm glad I was wrong with this one

Great detective work either way though op. I'm sure the thread will have loads of suspicious women do some digging into their partners using skills they didn't know before!

Take care Thanks

Susannahmoody · 24/05/2021 02:27

Did he tell you that?

Ciaobaby92 · 24/05/2021 04:28

oopsydaisyyy I hope it is helpful to you. I am in the states but seem to remember busting international numbers on there. I used to be a licensed PI and swear by SBC, whitepages.com, Facebook, Google and LinkedIn for free to very low cost sleuthing. There are sites where one can pay to find out a number but I always tried the easiest, cheapest route first.

BadMotherLover · 24/05/2021 05:37

So you have spied on you DP, mentally judged him, and now found out he has done wrong! Is this the person you want to be? How would you feel if the situation was reversed? Maybe examine yourself?

ticktockriojaoclock · 24/05/2021 05:55

Maybe examine yourself?

Maybe read the full thread, you sausage!

BadMotherLover · 24/05/2021 06:17

@ticktockriojaoclock

Maybe examine yourself?

Maybe read the full thread, you sausage!

Mmmnnn. Perhaps I did that already. Time for bed Rioja?
Original poster
Nescafegold1234 · 24/05/2021 09:01

@BadMotherLover thanks for that!

He's done quite a few things in the past, hence my suspicion. I'm not going to be ashamed of what I did. I could have just left the thread without any updates and avoid all the judgement from people like yourself. Look in the mirror first.

OP posts:
BadMotherLover · 24/05/2021 09:11

I'll take that criticism.

I just think that (maybe?) all this distrust is unhealthy (by everybody).

Happy to look in the mirror myself.

messybun101 · 24/05/2021 09:22

You're absolutely right to not be ashamed!

So you had a suspicion, and you took it to an advice board before speaking to him. There is zero wrong with that.
Regular MNers often advise you do more digging before confronting. You handled it great and came back to let us know your gut was wrong this time. Good for you op. Some would never have updated out of fear of judgment.
Thank you for letting us know.

Maybe since he's given you reason to doubt before, now is the time to work on the parts in your relationship that you need to trust him more

Tal45 · 24/05/2021 10:02

It's easy to jump to conclusions when someone has dented your trust previously. Thank goodness you didn't phone her demanding to know who she was and why your husband was ringing her :-D

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