Why does every txt have to be sexual

TheOriginalNutty · 2021-05-23T13:02:18+00:00

Argh !!!! A bloke who comes into where I work passed me his number as someone else there had told him I was interested. All good there. So I txt him and pretty much straight away the texting got flirty. That's fine I am not at all opposed to that as I love a bit of flirting but then it got more sexual and again I am no prude, far from it but come on, ask me a question about myself, something, anything but that. It's just so boring and predictable and disappointing. No wonder I have been single for so long.

osbertthesyrianhamster · 23/05/2021 14:06

Block him. He's an immature, stupid, low-rent douche. Why would you want to give the time of day to low lives like this?

OrchestraOfWankery · 23/05/2021 14:10

Ugh. Just block the seedy twat.

Lovelydiscusfish · 23/05/2021 14:12

If it’s purely sexual and you’re not enjoying that, maybe tell him so. See if he changes it up? OR, just block and move on?

PilatesPeach · 23/05/2021 14:16

Totally agree OP there is a big difference between flirty and sexual. A man I liked gave me his number and put 2 kisses and a heart on it - nice I thought. We texted a few times and I joked that I gentleman always takes the tap end in the bath with his lady and his reply was "I am not looking to get in your bath, I am looking to get into your knickers. Do you have any limits in bed?" ugh. yuck. You are not a prude at all OP.

Caramel81 · 23/05/2021 14:16

I would ignore the next sexual text and then wait a few hours and send him a normal chit chat type one. If he responds with something sexual again then ignore that one too and send him another normal one later. If he does it again then block and move on as he’ll never get the hint and continue to be a seedy bore!

NewlyGranny · 23/05/2021 14:19

These guys are very straightforward about their single-minded sexual pursuit. They do make it easy to weed them out and focus on the men who are interested in the actual person they are texting!

OrchestraOfWankery · 23/05/2021 14:23

@Caramel81

I would ignore the next sexual text and then wait a few hours and send him a normal chit chat type one. If he responds with something sexual again then ignore that one too and send him another normal one later. If he does it again then block and move on as he’ll never get the hint and continue to be a seedy bore!

Fucking hell! why should OP go through all that shit for this sex pest?

Original poster

TheOriginalNutty · 23/05/2021 14:29

Oh I've already swerved the sexual chat and tried to steer it back to a chatty direction by asking him about himself etc. Also told him the person who told me he was a really really lovely bloke would be shocked by his txts. He did apologise but then it wasn't long before I got another knob head txt.

I was going out last night and he asked for a pic of my ass. I don't know if he meant clothed or naked but either way I said no and he said let's see if you change your mind after a few cocktails 🤦🏻‍♀️

Needless to say, I didn't send his pic but I did txt 'yay won £85' (was in a casino) just to see if he would reply as he'd not sent anything since asking for the ass pic. No reply and nothing since.

Will be slightly embarrassing in work on Tuesday now but I can avoid him if I want to. The person who wanted to get us together is going to be so disappointed in him too.

OP posts:

Brakken · 23/05/2021 14:29

@Lovelydiscusfish

If it’s purely sexual and you’re not enjoying that, maybe tell him so. See if he changes it up? OR, just block and move on?

This is where women go wrong. Stop trying to change a man! He's already shown he's a sleaze who doesn't respect women so why is continuing to engage with him even an option. She should have blocked him immediatetely after the first sexual message she was uncomfortable with and told him she doesn't want that from men.

At the end of the day, you get what you tolerate.

Original poster

TheOriginalNutty · 23/05/2021 14:32

Tbh this happens a lot and yet friends tell me
I'm too picky.

I just feel like there should be a balance of conversation personally.

OP posts:

OrchestraOfWankery · 23/05/2021 14:40

Why on earth did you give him so many texts back? FFS it's clear he was after wank material from you.

Your friends bar for men must be set very very low.

DateXY · 23/05/2021 14:44

@OrchestraOfWankery exactly. It never ceases to amaze me how low some women's standards are! They're usually the same ones who later proceed to complain that all men are bad/unkind/sleazy. Well, duh, I wonder why (!)

In the OP's example for instance, I genuinely don't understand the thought process behind some.people saying to message back such a guy - unless you don't respect yourself. If it gets sexual quickly it's obvious the guy is a sleaze just looking for easy sex. Any attraction to such a man should vanish!

UhtredRagnarson · 23/05/2021 14:45

OP this is why I don’t even try and date anymore. Every single time without fail they turn the chat to sexual innuendos or straight out sex talk very quickly. My heart sinks every time. So I just don’t bother anymore.

Original poster

TheOriginalNutty · 23/05/2021 14:48

Don't worry the attraction has completely vanished now.

IMO my friends set their bar way too low and it seems to because of a need to not be alone. I have had much longer periods of being single than they have and it genuinely doesn't bother me anymore. Yes it would be nice to have a boyfriend, partner, whatever but I don't want it so much that I'm prepared to settle for someone like this.

I think I was more disappointed this time because i knew him in rl which is my preferred way to meet someone as I hate OLD.

Oh well we live and learn

OP posts:

Lovelydiscusfish · 23/05/2021 14:49

Oh OK, from OP’s updates he does sound rubbish.....

See, personally I don’t mind some sexual messages to a degree (would give them out, take them and respond to them) so I don’t think the sending of sexual messages is per se wrong. Women have sexual appetites too, don’t we? That said I wouldn’t want it to be wall to wall sexual messages, with no getting to know me either......

But obviously it’s important to find the right match, and somebody who strikes the right tone and balance, FOR YOU.

OrchestraOfWankery · 23/05/2021 14:53

DateXY

Girls and women are socially programmed to be nice. "Oh just give him another chance", "you're too picky" etc; this doesn't seem to be changing despite so called equality.

Men are becoming more and more porn addled and feel entitled to sex or titillation from women - even relative strangers.

ThePontiacBandit · 23/05/2021 14:54

Oh OP, please say you’ve reconsider the ass pic and send him this...give it a name. I quite like Norman!

Crikeyalmighty · 23/05/2021 14:54

There must be some women who actually do go along with this shit or surely they would have learned .

Lovelydiscusfish · 23/05/2021 14:54

[quote DateXY]@OrchestraOfWankery exactly. It never ceases to amaze me how low some women's standards are! They're usually the same ones who later proceed to complain that all men are bad/unkind/sleazy. Well, duh, I wonder why (!)

In the OP's example for instance, I genuinely don't understand the thought process behind some.people saying to message back such a guy - unless you don't respect yourself. If it gets sexual quickly it's obvious the guy is a sleaze just looking for easy sex. Any attraction to such a man should vanish![/quote]
But this just isn’t always true! And it appears to derive from some outdated notion that men are all about sex, and women aren’t.....

My boyfriend and I sent each other quite sexual messages after our first date (I use “quite” here to mean “very” - who am I kidding?) we have been together 10 months now and very much in love.....

There is no lack of self respect involved in sending, receiving, and responding to sexual messages. IF it is consensual and you are enjoying them....

And it’s no given that a man who will send you sexual messages is incapable of also respecting you as a human being.....

Original poster

TheOriginalNutty · 23/05/2021 14:55

@Lovelydiscusfish I am also not opposed to be a bit of sexting, flirty txt etc but not 2 messages into our first conversation and not if it's only that.

OP posts:

OrchestraOfWankery · 23/05/2021 14:57

My boyfriend and I sent each other quite sexual messages after our first date

OP hasn't even had a date with this charmer.

Original poster

TheOriginalNutty · 23/05/2021 14:57

@Lovelydiscusfish

I may very well have sent him very sexually oriented messages after our first date too. Might have even slept with him on the first date if I wanted to BUT I feel he should have at least met me properly first before attempting to go down that route.
At the very least he could have interspersed the sexual questions with questions about me, but nope.

OP posts:

Flowers500 · 23/05/2021 15:05

@TheOriginalNutty

Don't worry the attraction has completely vanished now.

IMO my friends set their bar way too low and it seems to because of a need to not be alone. I have had much longer periods of being single than they have and it genuinely doesn't bother me anymore. Yes it would be nice to have a boyfriend, partner, whatever but I don't want it so much that I'm prepared to settle for someone like this.

I think I was more disappointed this time because i knew him in rl which is my preferred way to meet someone as I hate OLD.

Oh well we live and learn

I don’t know why you feel the need to be rude about your friends here when you’re the one giving your number out to a randomer at work...

He clealry thought you were propositioning him for a hookup. It sounds a bit like you? Otherwise surely you would have tried to speak to him in the first place?

IEat · 23/05/2021 15:15

Sounds like he wants sex and that all once he has it he won’t bother with you again. If you want a relationship look elsewhere because he isn’t ready IMO

Original poster

TheOriginalNutty · 23/05/2021 15:27

@Flowers500 I beg your pardon ??

Do you know me ??

Firstly he gave me his number I didn't give him mine. Secondly I don't really get chance to speak to him at work as he doesn't work in my office but in the building. I don't see him tnat often. The receptionist who passed his number on sees him all the time hence passing the number on.

Also even if I had given him my number it still shouldn't mean that I'm up for whatever he wants me to be up for.

OP posts: