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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Broken my heart again 💔 (just a self pity post!)

27 replies

Ljones101 · 23/05/2021 12:44

A few months ago my relationship ended. Things werent going well. We had an argument and I said I needed space. He said if he left that would be it. I said 'fine' so he left and I never heard from him again.
I found this really difficult to deal with, the way it ended so suddenly like that and the way he just cut me off. I text and called a few times but he never replied.
Last night I went out for drinks with some friends. I rarely drink so after a few I was feeling pretty tipsy. (Absolutely no excuse for whats to follow) I went the toilet and when I came out he was standing there in the corridor!!
He came over and said he couldn't do it anymore. He couldn't stay away. He's tried but he can't and he loves me. Then we were kissing and he was telling me how much he's missed me and what he wants to do to me. I wanted him so much. His familiar smell, his touch, it all came flooding back. Then suddenly his friend was there pulling him away, telling him to get off me. His friend dragged him away and they were arguing. I was in shock/confused/drunk and just stood there crying like a d*ck.
His friend came back and said he'd drive me home if I wanted. I didn't want to go back to join my friends so I agreed. In the car X called him. I could hear he was asking if I was ok. I started shouting that I wasn't ok and getting upset. I was telling his friend to stop the car and let me out. I'm really not proud of how I behaved. I know I was acting like a child. This is the crazy side of me that he seems to provoke. We got to mine and I said i needed to see X and I started pouring shots of tequilla saying I was going to keep drinking them until X came. His friend said X wasn't coming. He was trying to take the drinks away and kept telling me to relax and calm down. I was crying, saying I wanted X. He was trying to get me to go to bed but I was pushing him away yelling at him not to touch me and to get out my house. He said he wasn't going until I'd calmed down. I think he must have called X in the end because then he turned up. I went running into his arms and I remember I felt such relief that he was there. Nothing happened between us, we didn't even talk. I just curled up on his lap on the sofa and he was stroking my hair in the way he does/did 😭. I guess I fell asleep. I woke up this morning by myself on the sofa with a blanket over me and a massive hole in my heart.
He's left a note saying he's sorry that he did that last night. He meant what he said that he does still love me and miss me and it has been really hard for him not to contact me. But he needed it to be a clean break for both our sakes because we both know we couldn't carry on how we were and we couldn't continue to hurt each other the way we were doing. He said he's sorry he was being selfish and fucked it up last night but still needs no contact. He hopes one day we will get to the point where we are able to be friends because he can't imagine the rest of his life without me in it.
So now all the feelings that were starting to fade a bit are back, magnified by 100% and it's like he's broken up with me all over again. I can't go through this again. I'm so sad. 😥

OP posts:
AramintaLee · 23/05/2021 12:48

If this is real then I'm sorry you're having such a hard time but... this reads like a really bad "50 shades" style fanfic.

seensome · 23/05/2021 12:54

You bumped into him by chance not because he couldn't stay away ffs, just a bit of drunken drama, don't believe I love you and miss you's, he would of been in contact if he cared enough.
Have more of a fuck you attitude, don't have time for men for all talk and no action.

Prettybubblesintheair · 23/05/2021 12:57

You bring out the worst in each other, I remember your previous threads. Just leave it now.

Maddox33 · 23/05/2021 13:07

I hate to be the Covid police but how the fuck did this all happen last night, assuming you are in the UK?

leftout1 · 23/05/2021 13:11

I hate to be the Covid police but how the fuck did this all happen last night, assuming you are in the UK?

What do you mean? The bars and restaurants are all open here, in my part of the UK.

user11838686969686 · 23/05/2021 13:15

From what I recall, wasn't this an abusive relationship? I know it was toxic.

Just be kind to yourself today. It was for the best that things ended. How you feel today will pass so take care of yourself in the meantime.

myhobbyisouting · 23/05/2021 13:23

"I hate to be the Covid police but how the fuck did this all happen last night, assuming you are in the UK?"

Erm, you know lockdown is over? 🥳

Cam2020 · 23/05/2021 13:25

Wow, drama.

premium77 · 23/05/2021 13:26

I remember your posts and I’m pretty sure you have a child. Your behaviour is appalling and this is one of the most dysfunctional ‘relationships’ I’ve even known.

Lovelydiscusfish · 23/05/2021 13:27

He’s an utter game-playing shit.

On the other hand, his friend sounds nice.

Sorry this has set you back. Try to forget it and move on if you can.

MrsMaizel · 23/05/2021 13:29

You were extremely stupid to go off totally drunk with some guy and let him in your house never mind the rest of it .🙄

FunMcCool · 23/05/2021 14:11

What on earth?

CorianderBee · 23/05/2021 14:15

You sound like a teenager... relationships shouldn't be this hard. If it's not healthy and happy and causes more drama than happiness it's not meant to be.

Umberellatheweatha · 23/05/2021 14:19

Fs op. He only came back at you because he thought you might be over him and his ego couldn't take that. He doesn't like you, he is just a dick that wants you to like him.

Chalk it up to a boozy mistake and block him everywhere.

CuriousaboutSamphire · 23/05/2021 14:20

Well, now you know that his freind, the one who separated you and took you home, tried to make sure you were OK, is a good freiend TO YOU!!!

He must have knonwwn what your ex was doing was fuckwitted and cruel.

Maybe think it through and wonder why HIS friend tried to rescue YOU!

Sunflower1970 · 24/05/2021 23:12

You’ve posted before and got a lot of criticism. You need to sort out your mental health. This bloke is doing the right thing staying away from a toxic relationship

Stressedout65 · 25/05/2021 04:21

@Maddox33 there's always one who has to try to derail the thread by going on about covid, it's boring now!

@myhobbyisouting 🤣🤣

JustGiveMeGin · 25/05/2021 06:20

@Maddox33 are you for real....are you one of those people that wants us under house arrest until we die of old age (or more likely boredom)

Ljones101 · 25/05/2021 09:55

I know we can't be together. I know we are not good for each other. I have stayed away- mainly because I had no choice. He cut me off.
I have been trying to get on with my life. Getting out, doing things with my friends and kids, exercising. But I was telling myself he's over it, he's moved on. And then he goes and does this...
I've apologised to his friend. I am really ashamed of my behaviour. He seemed ok about it but said my reactions were 'worrying'! He is a nice guy though and X is lucky to have such a good friend. We had a bit of a chat. I asked him why he had separated us and it seems X has been really open and honest with him about our relationship and told him some of the pretty fucked up things that have gone on. He said X is talking to a therapist. He also said it was Xs idea to go there on Saturday so maybe he had somehow known I would be there.
I got really really sad last night and really wanted him. I asked his friend if X had changed his number or just blocked me. He replied - don't do this to yourself. Then he tried to call but I didn't answer and I've now blocked him. I can't have that link there to X.

And today is a new day...

OP posts:
LaurenxoTerry · 27/07/2021 22:37

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk guidelines.

Aprilx · 28/07/2021 08:03

@AramintaLee

If this is real then I'm sorry you're having such a hard time but... this reads like a really bad "50 shades" style fanfic.
I think the main characters are real, OP has been posting for a little while about it. 🙄

OP, stop it. You are not going to get your happy ending and today’s story does sound like a really bad Mills and Boon. Your relationship was awful, toxic and neither of you should be proud of the way you have behaved in the past. You bring out the worst in each other and need to move forward.

inmyslippers · 28/07/2021 15:29

Where's jezza Kyle when you need him?

Goldensky1 · 28/07/2021 15:42

Are your children his?

5togo · 28/07/2021 15:45

Are you sure this wasn’t a dream?

SheldonesqueTheBstard · 30/07/2021 17:51

AramintaLee

If this is real then I'm sorry you're having such a hard time but... this reads like a really bad "50 shades”style fanfic.

50? Not even close to 25 shades…

And possibly more Jackie than Mills & Boon.

But benefit of the doubt will come into play.

On a previous post you said he was abusive OP. In which case you are better off out of it. Move on.