Online dating , is this a red flag?

[ROZ12]

Hi all

So single for 16 years now trying to get my life back . So met a guy just texting at mo I said I’m a night owl and slept today till 12 - bad week etc and called me a lazy ass! I got upset and told him I’m no way that as I men single parenting etc. I loved being single no one called me names! Shame I like him and now I’m
Upset . He said it’s a joke and apologised But coul it get worse ? Ex was a name caller and put me down constantly . Help !

Haven't read the whole thread but men will always put you down if they know the whole situation or even if they don't. Men put you down. It's depressing, I stay away from them whether they are 'teasing' or not. Can't be arsed putting in the energy into deciphering whether they are teasing or not. And they think women are complicated, I find them exhausting and misery makers

@Mammyloveswine

I’m not upset anymore as such as he said sorry and made it clear not speak to me like that .

So did you jokingly call him a lazy ass before (for the ready meals), and he's now said it back to you cos you slept til 12?

If so, it definitely sounds like he was joking to me. Probably thinking he was extra witty using the same terminology you used on him??

Also, if you called him a lazy ass before and he laughed it off, he doesn't find it that offensive??

I'd also say the fact you think it's funny for you to say to him but not for him to say to you, suggests there are some buried issues from your previous relationships leading you to feel like this

[quote ROZ12]@JesusIsAnyNameFree

What does too involved mean ?[/quote]
Too interested in everything about you and your life too early on, seeing things are more than they are after just a bit of chatting.

It's fine to say you don't want to date someone for any reason. They might just be wearing ugly shoes and that puts you off. It's your choice.

@lucy5236

He said is first then me back

@JesusIsAnyNameFree

Barely asks about my life .

If he barely asks about your life, why all this agonising? It’s an obvious no.

@AtrociousCircumstance

Well I would find that too much fi be honest I’m quite a private person

I think you should just stop talking to this guy OP. The fact is that there are several things that are worrying you about this man and most people would not stick around if there was a single thing that worried them after only a week of chatting.

@JesusIsAnyNameFree

Ok thanks I’m just so out of the game and feel like eveyone I speak or meet I find red flags and will be single forever

To be fair, most men out there are complete rubbish these days.
You'll find the right one eventually.

I'd throw this one back in the sea, OP. He's old enough to have a proper conversation. He shows no interest in you. You deserve much better than this.

I know on MN everyone gets up to Kärcher their driveways at 4am but I would be quite surprised by someone saying they slept until midday unless they were unwell or a shift worker or jetlagged or something. To me it does sound a bit lazy.

Perhaps it was a bit rude of him but I don't think it's a red flag.

@JeanneFrench

People sometimes can't sleep. Sometimes they've had interrupted sleep for days in a row and need a catch up, sometimes they stay up later than they should have, some sleep more because of depression or other mental health troubles and some people simply need more than the recommended 8 hours to function.

The fact someone sleeps until midday once doesn't make them lazy.

Delete and block him.
There's a helpful women only group on reddit that gives good dating advice.

Google reddit female dating strategy

@JeanneFrench

Thank you exactly that I am not lazy I woke full time, even overtime deal with a daughter with mental health issues, cook , Clean deal with all parenting matters myself. I don’t sleep well and body clock is differnt .

I would feel that was way too personal to say to someone unless they were a really close friend or something and you knew eachother so knew it was a joke.

Definately a red flag.

@Umberellatheweatha

Thank you