Wwyd

[Theodoreb]

I have a long term fwb amd my other female friend knows I have feelings for him and I am away on holiday today and she has been mailing him behind my back and made a pass at him. He phoned me straight up to tell me as we have a rule of do what you want just not with friends, so I'm in no way angry at him. But I'm very angry at her and don't know what to do about it tbh.

Things between me and my fwb have heated up lately and he's moved in which she knows, so just don't get why she would do this? she's recently split up with her ex and has gone through 6 relationships in the last year as she can't seem to stand staying single but there are plenty of guys out there no need to go for mine.

Btw she doesn't even know the boy apart from on rare occasions she's seen him with me maybe 6 times at most so there's no need for her to be mailing him at all like.

I think you mean to say your ex friend, because she's not a friend.

He's not a FWB if he's bloody living with you.

As for her, she'd be an ex-friend. That's quite a skank thing of her to do.

You have feelings for him and he's moved in with you. This isn't fwb.....

Sounds like you are in a relationship, not just FWB anymore seeing as he's moved in! So yeah, your friend is bang out of order. Does she know he's told you? I think I'd cool the friendship off.

Maybe it isn't fwb anymore I know neither of us have slept with anyone else since he moved in but I come from a extremely bad background of relationships and get frightened easily so think he's maybe frightened I'll run if he tries to make things official.

If a friend did that to me they would be out in the cold without a moment's hesitation. The betrayal is clear, her disrespect is showing in a particularly dispicable way. Not a friend.

She doesn't know I know yet she mailed him asking if he wanted company while I was away.

Have I wandered onto Teensnet by mistake?

Keep him bin her, remind yourself what a mutually respectful relationship looks like and go forward knowing you aren't tolerating bad relationships knowingly. Good luck.

I assure you I'm 33 I'm just frightened easily by previously abusive relationships and have been frightened to put a name to anything I've been single 5 years but with this man for 4 years.

Enjoy your relationship
Find a new friend
Don't be afraid , be happy
Good luck 💐

Sorry, OP. That was unnecessary of me. You don't have a FWB, you are sleeping together and living together - that's the very definition of a relationship. Your friend is confused about boundaries because the boundaries are confusing - also possibly not a great friend, but it's hard to say. I also wonder if this man is stringing you along as it looks like you are providing sex and a home but he is not beholden to you in any way. This all needs for you to figure out what you want and for you to be assertive with people about your needs.

I'm a friend with people who have husbands. I would never ever try it on, I respect the relationships they have. She's definitely not your friend. Friends have respect.
It's time to sack her off.

@BeautifulandWilfulandDead I don't think I'm being stringed along he does half the cleaning half the bills and even helps out with my 3dc with sn and many animals, also it's me who's frightened of committing as I feel once you say you belong to a man things change and I'm frightened but that's all for me and him to work out between us. Also I have schizoaffective disorder and he's always been there for me when I swapped medication I had to come off my anti psychotic for two weeks before I was able to take my new one and my dc went to stay with my mum and he came to stay with me sitting up all night every night for the full two weeks and listening to me talking to non existent people while keeping me calm. The only issue we have together is that his mum is a alcoholic and while he doesn't mind me drinking he worries that I drink too much which doesn't really bother me as I could do with cutting down and understand why he dislikes drink. But this is all for us to sort out together when we are ready.

My ex friend however knows all this yet still decided to make a pass so I don't know whether to confront or just walk away, I certainly won't be her friend either way after this.

Do you 100% know what she said and he hasn't made this up?

Or I could say nothing and allow her to continue making a fool of herself as I trust him 100% not to do anything with her, I trust him.

@Enough4me I trust him more than her and if I go on his fb account I can easily see the mails as I know his passwords and he knows mine but I don't wish to invade his privacy.

Should clarify reason we have each other's passwords is because I often go on his Facebook to see if I can get weed and same for him if one of us is out and the kids are with their dad as only smoke it when dc are with their dad.

Things between me and my fwb have heated up lately and he's moved in which she knows, so just don't get why she would do this?

I think you need to have a talk with him about your relationship. If he’s moved in this is a serious relationship and not a fwb - in this case your friend is way out of line.

Get some commitment from him if he’s living with you.

Does she know you live together?

Baffling 🤔

is she really thick or stupid enough to believe he would not tell you she was offering him her ahermm company ?

Either way, as everyone has already said, this is no friend. I'd cut her off, no explanation, no debate, no listening to her woeful self pitying excuses, then her trying to say he was up for it.. Don't give her any chance of fracturing what you both have.

It's actually nice to hear a guy respect his 'partner' and immediately telling them what's going on OP. He sounds like a bloomin good egg. 🌸🌷

Thanks all I'm just going to walk away, will also have a chat with him about where we go from here.

@toocold54 she knows we live together.

@PinkSatinMoon he has never lied to me which is why we have gotten this far, he's a good guy. He waited till I was back in hotel as well so he's not too clingy having to have my attention like previous exes he's happy I'm having a good time and just mails me morning and night so he waited till his night time call to tell me.

Is he really just a FWB? It seems things have
moved past that.
Is he seeing others? Are you?

Ditch the friend for sure. She has made a pass at someone you are living with! No explanation, no drama, just cut all contact, she deserves it.

@singleagain22 no neither of us have seen anyone else since he moved in 6 weeks ago, it feels like the dynamics of our relationship has changed, we are going to need to talk I think, although being honest when we were sleeping with other people it was me more than him, he was generally happy just to come see me if he needed anything and as I have a higher sex drive I was always a willing for it.

But things have changed the whole dynamic has changed and we've fallen into doing couple things automatically we are a couple in everything but name now, which is just a formality.