Meeting ex fling after 20 years

[Despairsometimes123]

That’s just it. We‘re both single and have arranged to meet up in a couple of weeks. I’m kind of scared and excited too. He hurt me so much years ago due to circumstances really, rather than him being nasty. . But a lot has happened since then so don’t feel vulnerable like I did then.

What are you hoping for? Is it a date?

Are you over how he hurt you?

Have fun, go with no expectations and keep your guard up.

Definitely not a date! Also totally over how he hurt me. Many life events have happened to me since and my life has turned out well. I’m interested to meet him but do feel quite nervous!!!

litterbird Yes that’s the approach I’m planning on 👍

Doesn't seem like a good idea

@ MoonshineTuttiFrutti can I ask why you say that?

The past should be left in the past.

"he hurt me so much"

Are you recently single or have you recently experienced a life event that has damaged your self esteem?

Been single for many years!!

its the "so much" bit of "he hurt me so much" that is abit
the past is the past. i agree with pp

Satisfy your curiosity but expect nothing. Don’t kid yourself - I can see your butterflies of excitement a mile away! So be real with yourself.

I know it sounds sad but I completely know why things had to be that way back then. I was completely over it many many years ago!!

Highly risky. I would be inclined to leave the past in the past regardless of how curious l was. Even more to lose if, as you say, you have a nice life. Why risk it impacting on that in ways you cannot anticipate. I would walk away.

@AtrociousCircumstance I think that’s exactly what it is - curiosity!

Curiosity for what???

Oh come one, OP is obviously going to be curious after all this time. He may be a big disappointment or you may hit it off. That's the curiosity bit surely?

So an ex shag hurt her "so bad" 20 years ago and they are going to meet and have great sex? Fall in love? Visit a National Trust property?

Terrible idea.

Curiosity killed the cat.

If it ended on painful terms then all you're doing is opening up old wounds and exposing yourself to further pain.

@Teddypicker exactly that!

Go for it. You've got 20 years of experience since then.

Is it just for sex? As there are tonnes of men out there to shag, ones who havent hurt you.

@Kittykat93 no it’s absolutely nothing to do with sex

@ all Myotherusernamewastakenagain exactly! I’m so very different in many ways to how I was then.

I think I understand it less now you say you are not meeting to hook up. You say an ex fling who hurt you badly, or so much. I'd be really worried about the wounds you might open by doing this - you've done well to get over the hurt and you want to go back there?

I wish you well.

Thank you @MoonshineTuttiFrutti
I understand what you’re saying but we’ve been in touch for a couple of years by text so it’s not like we’re “suddenly” in touch. I’m a very different person now to how I was 20 years ago!

How did he hurt you then?