Meeting ex fling after 20 years

[Despairsometimes123]

That’s just it. We‘re both single and have arranged to meet up in a couple of weeks. I’m kind of scared and excited too. He hurt me so much years ago due to circumstances really, rather than him being nasty. . But a lot has happened since then so don’t feel vulnerable like I did then.

Gosh so many risk averse people always making sensible decisions!

You've been in touch for the past couple of years; you've healed from the past; you're older and wiser.

Go with no expectations of anything other than having fun.

I did similar a couple of years ago with someone I didn't have a fling but a flirtation with over 20 years beforehand. We had a lovely evening but we'd both clearly changed so much we didn't see each other again. No harm done amd it was really nice to spend an evening with someone else for a change.

@PaperMoonshine thank you!!!😊

So if it's not a date and its nothing to do with sex what is it about??

I would only meet up once only! Don’t make it into a date... as others have said leave the past alone

You've been chatting for a while and are now meeting up. It's a date, and he will think it's a date, even if you don't.

Good luck but think you're going to wind up disappointment to be honest. Just be very much on your guard, dunno how he hurt you, but most likely he was a liar back then. Probably still a liar, remember that.

Why will he think it's a date? He's an adult too.

The absolute most he's going to think is that he doesn't know which it is and will approach it the same way was the OP and just enjoy it and see what happens.

As for him having hurt her in the past, I'm pretty confident, even without recalling specifics, that I did things at, say, 23 that I wouldn't have done ar 43. You're almost reading about different people.

I can't see why the issue is tbh. Unless some people just lead really parochial lives.

Bloody hell, some right killjoys on here. Go, enjoy and update us please!

Not sex... so some kind of closure? Sorry to be one of those killjoys... I'm not saying don't do it but beware that this might open up Pandora's box.
I reconnected with someone who hurt me terribly 26 years ago. Ultimately there was nothing but pain there. Just be very clear with yourself that you are potentially about to rip open old scars.

And especially if it was down to circumstances... there might be a lot of unresolved feelings there.