Would you call this sexual assault?

[Isol0]

I've namechanged but I've been on here for a while.

I'm confused so I need other people's opinions. Last night me and partner went to bed and everything was normal. When I was going to sleep he moved closer to me and kept putting his hand on an intimate area, I kept moving his hand and he kept moving it back. I think he was asleep but I'm not 100% sure. I 'woke' him up after that and he was confused so in the end we both went to sleep. I'll obviously speak to him again later but I'm not sure if that'd be sexual Assault?

@Isol0 - I think it depends on how your relationship is. For example, my OH sometimes does this with me, and we have a laugh about it, at times it’ll lead to something and other times it won’t. I’ll maybe just slap his hand lightly and we’ll both laugh and fall asleep.

I’m not undermining your situation as only you know what things are like in your relationship. Go with your gut instinct as only you know how you felt at the time x

Putting your hand in someone's crotch repeatedly after they have moved it away -is deliberate and faking sleeping.

I know a man who did this and pushes and pushes so hand on the crotch -woman moves hand away -back 2 minutes later then on inner thigh and then stroking -he wasn't asleep and it was dumping time

Without wanting to upset anyone, in my house this would be a normal way to try and initiate sex. When we are in bed together one if us will often reach across, there may be a little back & forth, one of us might resist a couple times. It will most times lead to security but not always. It would never occur to.me to lable that as sexual assault.

! SEX not security!. My bloody phone thinks it knows what I want to say better than I do

I wouldn't class as SA.
I would've 'woken' him and told him to stop as I didn't like it though

Yes, but so minor and in a normally consensual relationship, very low hanging fruit. OP just have a word with him about making you feel uncomfortable, but if he was genuinely half asleep, I wouldn't sweat this small stuff for sure.

Honestly you'd think he was a stranger on a train, from some of these reactions.

Up to you in the context of your relationship.

Have you said look when you did that the other night I really didn't like it don't do it again.

If he's never done it before and doesn't do it again then for me ok.

But, it's your relationship and your feelings and your boundaries.

I'm not sure asking other people will help. If you started a thread though it's obviously really bothering you.

Have you spoken to him about it?

Why the need to label it, “sexual assault” or otherwise?

If it made you uncomfortable it’s not okay. You need to talk to him about it and he needs to ensure it doesn’t happen again.

Would feel uncomfortable about that

It would have annoyed me but no not sexual assault.

If you were assaulted you would phone the police surely? Did you? That may give you your answer?

@SadSausage44

Some of the responses on here are ridiculous, get a grip on reality. Someone in a committed, mutually loving relationship, rolls over in his sleep and touches his partner, and it's sexual assault. Get a fucking grip. I've been sexually assaulted and it ain't that.

I can understand why this would upset those of you who have been sexually assaulted.

My partner normally spoons me and grabs my boob sometimes when asleep, and it isn't at all sexual. It's a comfort reflex of how we sometimes cuddle. Tbh if something like that makes you uncomfortable, then there are trust issues in your relationship other than this. It would never occur to me to question if my partner was asleep if his hand fell on my boob or fanny when asleep. I've kneed my partner in my sleep before, and once flung my hand on his face - I'd be horrified if he thought I had assaulted him and broke up with me over it.

But you know your partner best and what his intentions were.

Tbh as said below I think this is quite upsetting to those who have been sexually assaulted. Labelling it in the same category, it's just not. I was assaulted aged 17 and I can tell you, it's not what the op described. I'm sorry you're upset, but perhaps feeling violated or similar is a more appropriate way to describe it.

Dig him in the ribs, tell him to piss off then go to sleep and forget about it. Sexual assault? Dear god.

en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sleep_sex

Perhaps he has this condition

Surely it's about the context. If one partner usually initiates and does this by trying his/her luck then I can't see much of an issue.

If its not the norm then I'd agree maybe there's an issue.

This is very similar to a recent post. Are you the same OP?