New ish DP, exclusively dating. He is the best man I’ve met ever I think. I realise that sounds a bit over the top and I don’t know him completely yet, but I am very happy with him. We laugh a lot, we have similar interests, he’s very kind very funny very caring. What I’m about to say will have some posters suggesting he is married etc but I can say with as much certainty as is possible that that is not the case.
One thing that is just becoming a big problem for me is that he is massively inflexible. We don’t live together and he doesn’t work from home, I do and always have. His hours are unpredictable (works in banking role) and mine are full on but flexible. If I get the work done then I can work wherever and however I like. Some weekends he will work (that’s normal in his profession). I’ve said to him repeatedly that during those times I would like to see him in the week, just for a night. I’ve offered to go over when he finished work, work from his place the following day then see him for dinner the next night. Maybe I’m asking too much?? His response is always that he wants to and he misses me but he ‘doesn’t know how it will work.’ I have been round in circles with him about this. I’ve spelled out exactly how it could work... ie I will leave when he leaves work and get there half an hour after he’s home. We will then have dinner and go to bed, even if it’s late and he’s finished mid evening. I’ve said I don’t mind. A couple of times he has agreed, we’ve had a lovely time and the next day he texts saying he’s so glad that I stayed and that it was nice waking up together etc. But actually getting him to agree to it is really starting to damage my self esteem as I just don’t understand the reluctance?
I have raised this with him and he just doesn’t really say anything other than he doesn’t see how it could work 
it is infuriating that he won’t spell out to me what the issue is. This then led to me getting frustrated and asking him how he expects a relationship to be maintained when he can’t even spend a night in the week together? I asked if he was bothered about it and if he even cared about this...to which he burst into tears, said he’s rubbish at relationships and he’s trying 
When he’s had a drink he will often say he’s so thankful I am patient with him and he’s sorry he is so rubbish at all this. I think what he says is genuine.
Aside from this issue, when he’s not working weekends and we are together it is wonderful. It is the best relationship I’ve ever had. We speak on the phone often and I miss him massively when apart. He does thoughtful things like sorts my car as he knows i hate all that stuff, he’s sent me books he thinks I would like, he comes to visit me on his time off. All the usual stuff.
My best friend has said I need to totally withdraw from this and show him that if he can’t commit to regular week day meet ups during weeks he is working all over a weekend, then he doesn’t get the phone calls, the texts and the nice weekend dates. She thinks this is the best chance of making him realise what damage he is doing. I am minded to send one last message on it, being direct and just suggesting a day to go over next week. Then if he doesn’t agree or is difficult, maybe say very little and leave him to it from there?
It’s horrible because he is everything I wanted in someone apart from this bit that he just can’t seem to be flexible about.