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Original poster

DH deleted female friend contact details

49 replies

Sunshade78 · 13/05/2021 19:36

Would anyone have any ideas what this is about?
Basically, I think I managed to stop DH having an EA with a female friend of his by talking to him about my concerns regarding their messaging although I felt it took a while for them to stop messaging.
It took about 6 months I think for the messaging to stop.
I know that he never deleted her contact details from his phone but then I never demanded that he should delete her as a contact.
Months later, I noticed by chance that her contact details weren't where they used to be in his contacts list.
He has other guy friends who he keeps in his contacts list when he hasn't spoken to them for a while.
Why would he randomly delete her after a year?

OP posts:
ThatsAllFolks · 13/05/2021 19:38

He changed her contact name? He moved on?

Maunderingdrunkenly · 13/05/2021 19:40

He hasn’t deleted her?

She’s filed under ‘Bob’

Or she dumped him/cut him off and he’s deleted it in fury

TheMotherlode · 13/05/2021 19:42

Either he deleted it out of respect for you following you voicing your concerns, or he changed the name so you wouldn’t know they were messaging.

You know him best, which is more likely?

Original poster
Sunshade78 · 13/05/2021 19:42

I searched the number and it's not there. Not under a new contact name. They had been friends for years before.

OP posts:
Merryoldgoat · 13/05/2021 19:43

How does he know her?

If they work together I’d be suspicious that’s she’s stored under ‘Bob’ or something.

Merryoldgoat · 13/05/2021 19:43

Cross post - then maybe he realised it had to stop.

MiddlesexGirl · 13/05/2021 19:43

It was easier to resist the temptation to message her if she was no longer a contact.

Original poster
Sunshade78 · 13/05/2021 19:44

I would go with he deleted it out of respect for me but then why would it take him so long after voicing my concerns to do that, is what I'm confused about.

OP posts:
GappyValley · 13/05/2021 19:46

He could have changed a couple of digits of the number
Eg instead of saving it as 07123 456789, he saves is 01123 456789
So when he wants to contact her, he only has to swap the 1 for a 7 but you’ll never find it

Ging7878 · 13/05/2021 19:55

Sounds to me like something was going on and now it's over with either him or her ending it.

optimistic40 · 13/05/2021 19:56

Hard to know. He might have deleted her completely. Or, he could be messaging her on Facebook Messenger or Kik maybe?

CombatBarbie · 13/05/2021 19:57

I would like to believe he's cut contact entirely for you.

If he hasn't, it's because he's using a different platform or she's changed her number. App wise does he have anything like KIK, wire, telegram, viber.... These are all equivalents to WhatsApp. Easiest way to find it would be to check his battery usage.

messybun101 · 13/05/2021 19:58

Initial thought - so you can't get her contact details from his phone?
Or maybe she has a new number (that you don't have to search by) and this is saved under a different name.

How did you have the number to search already? Would you know if it was the most recent number for her?

custardbear · 13/05/2021 20:02

A friend who is into seriously bizarre relationships and keeps lots of stuff hidden has ways to hide things , something about hidden stuff within apps - he needs ruined calculator once ... so perhaps open random apps like calculator or news etc and see what's behind the facade

MizMoonshine · 13/05/2021 20:10

Maybe he finally consummated it and deleted her out of guilt.

LuckyMcDucky · 13/05/2021 20:10

Does he have another phone maybe?

It sucks that you have to snoop though and I honestly don't blame you.

rjacksmiss · 13/05/2021 20:13

Some of the comments on here! Fucksake. He's probably deleted it OP. I wouldn't worry too much. Are they friends on social media or anything?

Phoenix121 · 13/05/2021 20:15

This is an odd one. I would have expected him to have done any of the things pp have suggested (like use a hidden platform) much sooner.

Supposing she was just a friend. That would be some respect he's showing - to delete a friend contact just because your spouse voiced concerns.

Supposing she was more than a friend. Leaving her as a contact is understandable as he'd not want to lose contact immediately. Over time, it fizzled out perhaps.

thecognoscenti · 13/05/2021 20:17

@rjacksmiss

Some of the comments on here! Fucksake. He's probably deleted it OP. I wouldn't worry too much. Are they friends on social media or anything?
This! It's probably nothing.
Phoenix121 · 13/05/2021 20:18

@LuckyMcDucky

Does he have another phone maybe?

It sucks that you have to snoop though and I honestly don't blame you.

An entirely separate phone is a good call. I remember reading something about this phenomenon - it might even have been on here ages ago. About some guy who bought a phone which was solely dedicated to his mistress after the wife found out about the affair. Now that would explain the sudden deletion from the main phone.
LuckyMcDucky · 13/05/2021 20:20

It's really hard, as, I'd normally say it's nothing, but the whole almost EA puts another spin on it. Op is obviously a bit suspicious and wants to know why, when he never deletes old contacts. I'm not sure dismissing that is all that helpful tbh.

SwimBaby · 13/05/2021 20:59

He may be using a different method to contact her, WhatsApp perhaps? Or he has a separate phone (usually hidden in men’s cars) just to use when contacting her.

lucy5236 · 13/05/2021 22:06

Everyone is automatically so suspicious on this....and I thought I was cynical 😂

SwimBaby · 13/05/2021 22:09

My H had a dodgy ‘friend’ and I found her number stored as School, that’s why I’m suspicious.

lucy5236 · 13/05/2021 22:16

Yeah but the OP has checked and her number isn't saved.
If there's something suspicious I'm first one to say but this feels like making someone suspicious over nothing. Although the fact he had an EA in the first place may be a factor.

When you say EA, what do you mean OP! Just that he had a female friend who he spoke to via text or is there more to it? That would probably determine how suspicious I'd be in your situation