Am I a bad, jealous 2-faced friend??

[Dizzybrunette445]

Hi everyone I am new here, I just wanted some advice about my feelings regarding one of my friends (I'll keep short)
I have a friend who's with a lovely guy, they are normal people but they're both only child's, mid twenties. They have quite low paid jobs, they don't save as they're always on holiday to Dubai.. designer bags etc.. anyway they have managed to buy their first house. A huge 4 bedroom detached, bay windows, huge garden, wide drive way.. me and my partner are struggling to find anywhere at the moment (we earn more than them) we can barely afford anything like that (their house is about 500k).. I feel very jealous that they've managed to get this by not working hard and barely save (we work hard, I am a paramedic and my partner is in I.T) so we have a healthy salary. But because of where we live, we are paying a premium cos we are by the sea... anyway , I can flabbergasted they have managed to gain this property from both working in call centres. To top it off, they've bought a new range rover each up their drive way. I don't know whether they've had loads of help or in massive debts by portraying a lifestyle they cannot afford (poor people trying to be rich) but I feel so disheartened by it all. I know it's pathetic and I feel very back stabbing as I should be happy for my friend, but I feel they don't work to deserve it and live off their parents, portraying to the world they are successful when they are not.

Sorry :-(

But you've chosen to live by the sea?? That's your choice. You could have the big house and work a crap-paid job, but you have chosen where to live.

I live in London. A 2 bed house would roughly cost me £450k+. My friend lives up north. She paid £87k for a 2 bed Edwardian house and her and her partner don't earn a lot. That's life.

I have another friend who lives in Kent and is a council house. In Kent, anyone with a child under 9 must have a garden. Her house is small with a garden the size of a football pitch. She only had to wait 3 months of being in a hostel before housed. In London, I'd be lucky if I got a 2 bed flat in a shit hole, run down area and that would take around 2 years of being in temporary accommodation.

Location, location, location.

They've had help from parents to get house. Could have got cars on HP.

You're allowed to vent on here but even with getting into debt they must be able to afford it via other wealth if not their job.

It's not worth worrying about. There is always going to be someone else with more than you.

If they are genuinely good friends - why can you not ask them how they do it? I know money and earnings are very personal. However you can ask in a way it is not offensive.

Buying a house with a big mortgage is a gamble .At the moment with low interest rates and prices booming the gamble is paying in spades but inflation and higher interest rates could leave over extended people in real trouble.
Wishing you had something similar is perfectly normal ,wishing they were poorer is not (unless they are horrible people)

If they drive a high end car and can afford a heavy mortgage op then yes they earn a lot more than you think. Even with a hundred k deposit they would need close to 80-100k annual salary in secure employment between them. That’s assuming little to no debt.

If they drive a high end car and can afford a heavy mortgage op then yes they earn a lot more than you think. Even with a hundred k deposit they would need close to 80-100k annual salary in secure employment between them. That’s assuming little to no debt.

Buying a house with a big mortgage is a gamble .At the moment with low interest rates and prices booming the gamble is paying in spades but inflation and higher interest rates could leave over extended people in real trouble.
Wishing you had something similar is perfectly normal ,wishing they were poorer is not (unless they are horrible people)

Be thankful for what you've got.
Jealousy is a very ugly emotion.
You live by the sea - how lucky are you!!
Be thankful you've got your health because that's what really matters.
You could have millions in the bank and die next week - you should know that in your job!!

I do not think I would want to be friends with you

I think you’ll find the word iS “children”.

Don’t be jealous - there is no point and life is too short.

They probably get commission or earn more than you think and so can afford their luxury lifestyle.