Partner gets moody if I hire help

[CMSdividend]

DP and I have been together 7 years, don't live together.
His time is very limited, works 7 days a week sometimes (think plumber/electrician so even on days off can be called out). He is not good with romantic gestures and "shows" his love by doing jobs for me such as mowing the grass etc. He's always saying that his house is neglected and there are jobs he needs doing.
I need a bathroom remodel done as I have quite a bad leak. I have a plumber coming to fit a new boiler anyway so called plumber to come and see the bathroom.
DP and I had discussed (well DP said) that he would take old suite out and replace etc.
I asked plumber for a quote to do the work. Well you'd think I asked the plumber to bend me over the sink and roger me senseless the fuss DP made about me hiring someone to do "his" job. I said to him if he has any spare time I'd rather spend it together and not having him doing jobs for me. It was bizarre. Can only assume he felt emasculated as someone else was looking after his woman .
Anyone else this has happened to?

You.could always suggest you next have a man for the sink, bath ect and see the reaction

@Hawkins001 I don't even know what that reaction would look like

So just me then

To be fair I would find it odd to hire a plumber when my partner was a plumber....

I'm guessing that OP has asked her partner if he do it, but like most tradespeople their houses are the last to be done.

My builder friend's wife has the best thing about the last is that all those jobs that her DH has been 'going to do' have actually been done. Some she has been 'waiting' for 10 plus years to be completed.

OP hire someone to do the job and when you partner complains tell unless he can do the job now when you want it done then he stop moaning.

* YEAR*

I'd tell him that you need the job done by X date, and either he does it by then or you hire someone, his choice, but it is getting done.

@CooperLooper

To be fair I would find it odd to hire a plumber when my partner was a plumber....

I agree. I would be a bit offended if j were your partner OP..... I'd feel like you didn't trust me to do the job and wanted someone else.

At first I thought your partner was being ridiculous but then I had a think about it and thought how I would feel.
I'm a podiatrist and if I had a partner I'd feel a bit meh if my partner decided to go to a private podiatrist instead of asking me. I'd be wondering if he thought I wasn't very good at my job.
But on the other hand you don't live together and it's your house, you are not married so you can do what you want.

He's not a plumber. That was an example

My DH is a tradesman and have ended up booking people to do work he could do because he just never gets round to it because he’s so busy doing paid work that I end up being driven crazy by it. He said I was was wasting money but did acknowledge that he didn’t know when he’d be able to do it

The work he does is not related to the work I need doing to be clear.

If you have a leak it needs to be done now, and not when he has time. His reaction is way over the top.

He is being unreasonable and manipulative.

Tell him it's not a big deal and you will hire it out. If he persists in a huff, evaluate the relationship.

@CMSdividend

The work he does is not related to the work I need doing to be clear.

So he can't do it anyway even if you wanted him to?

My DH is very handy and can turn his hand to anything. He is a capable joiner, electrician plumber and general fixer. His day job is a retirement hobby fixing bikes. Somehow the jobs I want doing never get to the top of his list until I have rung for a quote to fix a radiator valve or replace a leaky tap for example. Then he strings into action and does what I have been asking for. The problem is getting my jobs priority.
Last year he ripped up the living room carpet and bought parquet and ply to board the floor. Nothing has happened since. I am threatening to buy a new carpet! I share your pain.

Yanbu at all. I’m forever amazed by the amount of men who will be personally insulted if you pay someone to do something they said they wanted to do themselves, you’ve been asking them to do for months and which they’d take much longer to do and probably do a worse job than a professional. My dad was the worst for this, absolutely zero diy skills but would insist on doing everything. My mum would always have to sneakily get someone round to fix his bad jobs afterwards while he was at work. For years he’d tell everyone what a good job he’d done building a shed when my mum had to buy and entirely new one and pay someone to take down by dad’s and erect the other one in its place.

I couldn't be dealing with a controlling bloke like this. He'd be an ex. It's none of his business what you do with your money and home.

@grapewine

If you have a leak it needs to be done now, and not when he has time. His reaction is way over the top.

I agree, a leak can cause all sorts of mischief and needs dealing with sooner rather than later.

Thanks all. Yes @WallaceinAnderland that's exactly it.
I also have a half finished deck that he needs to complete. The area was dug out 3 years ago! Said I'd rather have that finished by him first but "wouldn't you want to get some other c*nt round to finish it?" was his answer to that.

No thanks. You're doing the job of a handful of cunts as it is, No need to add to it. Now if you excuse me, I'll start looking for someone to complete the job. That's white, no sugar thanks.

Give him a date you want the work done and more importantly finished by, and tell him if it's not done then you're hiring someone else. No discussion. Otherwise it'll be the 32nd of Julember by the time he gets round to it.

Your house, your money, your choice. Get tradesmen in to do the stuff that needs doing.

You're not beholden to your partner. He doesn't get to decide what he does or doesn't do to your house.

This is the sort of shit that lots of men have a tantrum over for no reason whatsoever.

For me, his reaction with telling you to ‘get another cunt in’ would make me have some very sharp words indeed. He needs to stop acting the wounded child, it’s pathetic and very unattractive.

God, I’m so angry on your behalf! What a dickhead.

@CMSdividend

Thanks all. Yes *@WallaceinAnderland* that's exactly it. I also have a half finished deck that he needs to complete. The area was dug out 3 years ago! Said I'd rather have that finished by him first but "wouldn't you want to get some other c*nt round to finish it?" was his answer to that.

With that attitude I'd have said, Yes I'll hire someone, you can fuck right off.