Dates from Hell

[Sandra15]

I've never done OLD but I had the misfortune to think I had connected with someone through (virtual) work last year and he behaved very badly.

This post is essentially copied from another thread, but it made me think about all the weirdos one meets on dates. When I was younger, I would meet lots of frogs. These include:

One turning up late repeatedly and so I went home. He phoned me in a fury blaming me for going home, saying "I was taken short".

Another one "Can I kiss you". "Do you usually go out with men?" It was like Adrian Mole.

Giving another chance to a guy who told me on Date 3 that he had been in a young offender's institution for a fight at a football match (think now there was more to it than that). He turned up with a friend and his girlfriend who was on her first date with the friend. We saw the two guys going through pockets of jackets hung up. The other girl and I went to the toilet and escaped and never saw them again.

Going on a date with a guy I met through work when I had a student job, conversation took a smutty turn I wouldn't join in with and he parked up on the way home expecting some action. Luckily he didn't push it, drove me home when I asked him to and had the cheek to say "Can I see you again on Wednesday?"

A guy turning up for first date with a box full of chocolates, wine and bath bombs. Found out he had CCJs and had headbutted his ex.

I used to blame myself for attracting these people because I thought there was something about me that sent out the wrong sort of message to them. Now I just think these chumps are everywhere. I met all of these in real life.

Any more?

online dating at it's best * sorry worst I did lol at adrian mole, and you and other woman doing a houdini,!! Take a break re-evaluate your dating options try speed dating maybe in future if such events held,? Failing that become a nun

I went on a date with an Indian man who told me he didn't date white women because of their redisposition to "lay down fat" and that he preferred Korean women.

I'm white

Didn't stop him from contacting me out of the blue a year later to let me know.if I was ever up for some no strings sex, I knew where to find him...

@Ardvark111

online dating at it's best * sorry worst I did lol at adrian mole, and you and other woman doing a houdini,!! Take a break re-evaluate your dating options try speed dating maybe in future if such events held,? Failing that become a nun

I haven't done online dating and I'm not looking, these are just daft examples from the past and I wondered if anyone could top them!

I met a woman from an old site and she was 20 minutes late. I mentioned it and she said she works on 'mac time', her name was mc something. My eyes rolled I think.
Because I don't like upsetting people I stayed for a coffee and she regaled me with stories of mad exes and her broken heart. She explained that she coped with her experiences by biking every evening after work. I suggested therapy might be more useful. She looked offended.
There was no second date but I still smile when I think about how bonkers it was

I met someone online, I'm not one for weeks of txt speak so agreed to a date. I was told I would more than likely go to hell as I didn't read a bible daily /ever. I suggested he use the christian dating sites in future
Another, nice initial texting but he grinned constantly through gritted teeth😬 (Bevis and Butthead style) and was a nervous wreck.
Another, (1st and only date) didn't like that I was txting other men on the site and had set up another date with another. He believed i should commit to 1 man at a time then decide whether to move forward or not. He was so persistent and nasty i recall crying and leaving early.

Ten minutes into my first date with a guy at the age of 19 he told me God had told him that I was to be his wife.

Reader, I didn’t marry him.
Still awaiting the thunderbolt...

My friend was on Tinder for a while and went on a date with a guy who kept getting up from the table and disappearing. She saw him vaping through the window and that was the end of that.

Another guy she met was going on Tinder right in front of her whilst they were eating (He took her to Nando's) ...

I went on a double date with a friend once and her date pretended to go to the toilet, climbed out the window and vanished.

The guy I 'met' last year stood me up by sending someone else (his friend) to the door to pretend that he (the door answerer) lived there but he forgot he'd sent me photos of his mate so I knew who he was.

Another guy turned up for a date in cowboy boots WITH SPURS and a bag of mucky washing.

Has been speaking to this guy via OLD for a couple of weeks, he seemed nice, pretty together and seemed to share a similar outlook/sense of humour to me. Oh how wrong I was.

Met up with him for dinner. He ended up a) telling me that his ex wife had had him arrested for domestic violence (he offered this information up like I would respond with "how dare she? You obviously were the victim here"), b) told me his mum would like me because I'm white, unlike his most recent girlfriend and c) then said "so would my best friend, can I bring him in as he's been waiting outside of the restaurant to meet you" (WTF? Who brings his mate to a first date?!).

I did a runner as quickly as I could.

Another guy turned up for a date in cowboy boots WITH SPURS and a bag of mucky washing.

Fucking hell!

You win!

OLD got to 3rd date and had the "we need to talk" chat. His ex was 9 months pregnant but he was sure it wasn't his. Turns out it was, we didn't go on many more (but also because standing on train platforms taking photos of engines wasn't my thing... who knew) x

The next one couldn't go on evening dates because he had a sinus infection and couldn't stay up late whilst also working shifts. Yup I got dumped for a sinus infection 😂 x

First date with a lad in my wider circle friends, but who I didn't know very well.

He took me to sticky old man pub where drunk ladies were screeching karaoke. After 2 drinks he told me he was a gambling addict, was 20k in debt, thought his dad was secretly guy, revealed he found robots sexually attractive, told me I'd probably leave him for his more attractive brother and topped it all off by trying to force me to hold his willy under the table.

There was no second date

*secretly gay

My most light-hearted disaster (and there are many) was this most stunning man, with his life together, great job, car, home of his own, super friendly and normal seeming...
I was excited to meet him for our first date in a pub.
He was a bit late so had let me know, i went in and sat at a table and got myself a drink...
10 minutes later i hear what sounds like Joe Pasquali (?) Screetching across the pub "Heeelllooooo" as this dashing talk dark and handsome fellow darted from the door to my table.
Me, surprised but amused by the squeaky uber camp greeting, laughed hysterically - "haha that voice made me jump, so funny, haha"

Reader, it wasnt a fake voice. He really sounded like he was constantly on the helium. And, after i made a fairly swift but acceptable 50 min later exit i just didnt have the heart to tell him why i didnt want to see him again.

Im a horrible person I know. And i really tried to look past it, but just couldnt. And kept collapsing laughing at his voice notes he kept sending after the date.

Luckily current DP has suitably deep and sexy voice. Apparently its important to me, who knew.

Lollyneenah What? You actually let this prince go?

I went on a first date and the guy turned up with his brother, his twin brother, and they were both dressed identically (at 25). Turned out that apparently they did everything, including dates, together. I didn't know what to do so stayed with them to eat dinner at a restaurant, and their mum turned up and joined us!!!

@Honeycombskl what the actual...f... have I just read haha.

@Honeycombskl

I went on a first date and the guy turned up with his brother, his twin brother, and they were both dressed identically (at 25). Turned out that apparently they did everything, including dates, together. I didn't know what to do so stayed with them to eat dinner at a restaurant, and their mum turned up and joined us!!!

Over the years had some great old (I met my now dh online) and some awful dates. Two stand out:

1. Insisted in meeting me in Central london rather than paying the extra £3 to come nearer me cos he was gonna buy me lunch. He took me to whether spoons and made me order from the two for £5 menu after I spend £11 on a train ticket to meet him. For the record I'm a modern girl and I don't care if I have to split the bill just don't make me eat cheap food.

1. Within 45 minutes I knew all about his ex fiance who he'd split up with 3 weeks before cos he just woke up and decided he didn't love her anymore. So he had to move back to his parents as he also lost his job as he worked for her brother....

But my worst date was someone I met at a party. For background I had a ex that passed away very suddenly. This guy started by booking a late night movie and lying about it, by telling me his mum wasn't speaking to him atm (even though he lived with her) as he went on holiday without her, every story started with "once I was in this club and making out with this girl..." American pie atyle.

Then he admitted he met me before when I was dating my late ex. He then started asking me all sorts of personal questions including how he died, whether I loved him etc.

I came home and cried

@OrchestraOfWankery the cheek of me I believe he's still single so feel free to take a punt on him!

@OrchestraOfWankery

Another guy turned up for a date in cowboy boots WITH SPURS and a bag of mucky washing.

Fucking hell!

You win!

Well the mucky washing was in a bag in his car, which he didn't reveal until the end of the date!

A friend from work met a guy she liked in a club one night, they swapped numbers and arranged to meet in the week for a drink. She was all giddy and excited, and came into work next morning with a face like a smacked backside. He had worn clogs. Not Brinkmann or Birkenstock, proper clogs.

These sort of clogs

@Kiki275

OLD got to 3rd date and had the "we need to talk" chat. His ex was 9 months pregnant but he was sure it wasn't his. Turns out it was, we didn't go on many more (but also because standing on train platforms taking photos of engines wasn't my thing... who knew) x

Oh Christ ...... that has reminded me too. I had a holiday romance in Lanzarote, well, holiday romance is pushing it, we met them on our last night. When I went to see him (thankfully not far only Lancashire) I found out he had an ex-wife and child that I didn't know about, the next door neighbour was pregnant with his child and he was pining over a girl who had died (allegedly as a result of a stage hypnotist event but that was never proven).

Oh I've had more disastrous oldates than I can count! Two that I'll never forget tho, turned up at Starbucks to meet him after chatting online for weeks. He's the older, smaller version of his pic🙄 picture Mr muscle in the 80's! In a black 3 piece suit, with the a briefcase...I cudnt just walk away so I thought I'd grin and bear it, have a coffee and leg it ASAP! Just sat down when he started telling me about his love of anal sex...but he didn't indulge very often because he was large "down there!" While gesturing to his groin 🤦‍♀️ he then eyed up every person that walked past! I left after 20 mins max and he wanted to give me a lift home.....in his old transit van with blacked out windows and a mattress in the back 🥺🥺

Met a man in the local co op - kept bumping into him but found out later he had been stalking me. Seemed attractive, owned his own business, sports car etc. Went for a date - he turned up shaking, looked like he had already been drinking and after a few glasses of wine was talking nonsense - I actually though he had taken drugs. Turned out he had severe mental health issues - ended up having to get a taxi and make sure he got home ok

Another one! Met a fireman in a club and arranged a date. Went to a bar and he hovered behind me at the bar - so I bought the drinks, went for a meal and he wandered off the toilet when the bill came - so I paid - same happened when we went to the cinema and car park 'I have no change' I should have just said 'shall we go dutch' !