Things you don't miss

[crochetmonkey74]

So I am single and just coming into the enjoying it stage (5 months post break up) and I am enjoying living alone again- so much so that I am actively grateful to not have to put up with the following

1. The Farting - particularly night time ones
2. The endless routine cycle of what shall we have for tea/ watch on Netflix?
3. The insecurity of 'are they fancying someone else' work wives bollocks
4. The political ranting (this is specific to my DP but I know other friends DPs who have their own particular rants)

What don't you miss?

Oh and for both most recent exes, inability to maintain basic personal hygiene. Yuk. Boak.
Neither wore clean underwear and socks every day unless constantly reminded. Stinky BO infested T-shirts.

Ex from 10 years ago wore horrible thick tracksuit bottoms to bed which were barely washed. Disgusting. THrew a temper tantrum and regularly stormed out if they were mentioned.
Also when he moved in I insisted on him throwing out two towels he'd had for about 20 years and which were absolutely festering and stank of mould. I even offered to replace them. Should have cancelled him moving in at that point.....

What's with these men who can't seem to shower, wear deodorant and put clean clothes on every day

@wdmtthgcock what is that all about?? I had an ex similar - wore a stinky jumper all the time!!! Eurgh!

The feeling that you've annoyed someone else - he got annoyed when I was clumsy.

My ex was the same. Which was soooo annoying.

Add to that:
-the farting
-the lack of affection
-the lack of empathy
-his Disney Dad parenting
-the stonewalling
-mocking me
-getting angry at someone/something and taking it out on me
-stonewalling

The snoring.
Being ignored - no interest in anything the DC or I did.
The hoarding- he still had paperwork from 3 jobs ago.
Greediness.

It's lovely here now

Hmm being over the top about knocking a very wobbly table, slightly spilling his tea over - only happed twice, but a real anger flash for some reason ( well, he did like to eat at cheap places that do big portions, with plastic outdoor seating). I'm more quality over quantity. Ironically, he was the clumsiest person I know and has poor coordination skills - often falling over his own feet. Had nice looking, slightly prominent teeth, but for some reason they always scraped against my lips when kissing which made the whole experience feel a bit awkward, I like a good snog, so that was missing.
Stained cups, all of them at his place. How do some people have cups with permanent tea and coffee stains in? I manage to get all mine clean ( I hate teaspoons with permanent round stains in them also, amI odd in that? It's a bugbear).

This is turning into a character assassination but it is helping so I'll carry on..
His total ineptitude at anything practical- but his unwillingness to learn- so he's crap at DIY (fair enough) but this would spark off a massive fragile ego reaction instead of just watching a you tube video about it.
Also, his pride in being 'woke' (fine I consider myself like this and think it's generally positive) but then again his fragile ego rage reaction to women's experience of the world and how men struggle too.

@Sunshineandflipflops

Him being a miserable fucker at home with me and the kids because he was having an affair but didn't have the guts to tell me.

This!!

@SteelMack
ad breath
Slovenly ways
Disgusting hygiene (or lack of hygiene)
The greedy pig eating everything in the house
The secretiveness with his phone
Tiny pointless dick that he didn't know what to do with (other than pull it in secret)
Lies

Have I been in the same relationship with your ex !!! or just a clone!! Made me giggle

Triangulation - talking about all of his amazing female friends and ex's
Drinking lager from 9pm -11.pm and eating his main meal at 11.30 Every Night
Snoring
Sleeping next to darth vada - sleep apnea mask
Burping
Tight with money
Selfish
Every time we went out he would bump in to an ex
Limpness - erectile dysfunction - had to buy on line viagra

Clearing up the used plasters he liked to leave on the coffee table.
The passive aggressive agreement not to leave his used plasters on the coffee table and then carry on doing it
His fat fingers - don't know why but I found his hands very ugly
The umpteen boxes of golf balls delivered to the house EVERY week that needed signing for

[quote sunrayscome]@SteelMack
ad breath
Slovenly ways
Disgusting hygiene (or lack of hygiene)
The greedy pig eating everything in the house
The secretiveness with his phone
Tiny pointless dick that he didn't know what to do with (other than pull it in secret)
Lies

Have I been in the same relationship with your ex !!! or just a clone!! Made me giggle[/quote]
OMG I've just read your post and yes I do believe we must have had the same one.

Even down to the sleep apnoea mask (which I'm sure he wouldn't have needed if he stopped being a fat, greedy, lazy twat)! 🤣

God I don't miss that waste of space!

Forgot to mention the secret debts and literally nothing to show for his life.

Drinking too much.
Spending money on shit
Never being wrong about anything
Nothing was ever his fault
Being nicer to his friends than to me or our kids
Just being so present everything revolved around him.

I might as well give my ex another mention, it would be a shame to leave him out of the roll call:

• skidmarks on sheets
• watching tv every night while picking feet
• piss all around toilet floor
• narky mood but I was expected to guess what it was I was supposed to have done
• sneering at things I liked on the tv
• flirting with every woman around
• embarrassingly showing off in front of people, it made him look like a bigger twat than he actually was
• crap at DIY which is fair enough, but having a complex about it, so he regularly fucked something up around the house and had to end up paying someone to fix it

piss all around toilet floor

Oh yes how could I forget that one....
And the bathroom then stinking like the Gents all the time. Dunno what was wrong with his urine but it absolutely stank. Urine getting into the grouting between the tiles. VOM

Oh and I forget in my earlier post, I don't miss getting phonecalls to come and pick him up from somewhere random miles away (like 45 km or so) because he was too drunk to drive. Once he was even in another country (I'm in mainland Europe). I refused because one of the car headlights had blown and it was illegal to drive in the country he had ended up in. He kicked off majorly about that.
No, I don't miss that shit at all.

@SteelMack
Yes he had debts too with his business - didn't own his own house - nearly 50 and had nothing to offer really.
I could never understand the ritual of drinking 10 cans of lager, then eating a heavy meal at 11.30pm - he used to send texts at 11pm 'are you awake' and make drunken phone calls - he would make nasty comments about me going to bed early (we did not live together thank god!)
I was actually devastated when we split up but my god it was a blessing

Honestly I don’t miss a single thing about him apart from maybe the stability for my son. It’s like the fog has lifted and I can’t even understand what I liked about him in the first place.

But in the spirit of the thread, I especially don’t miss:

• Having to convince him to go to work, having to text him from my job to check if he actually went and inevitably finding out he’s pulled another sickie.
• Having to remind him to brush his teeth.
• Being responsible for remembering all of his family’s birthdays and organising presents and cards.
• Everything being my fault, somehow.
• Him constantly telling me I’m an awful person and if people knew what I was “really like”, they would understand and agree with the way he treated me.
• The way he would behave if he was in a bad mood, making sure if he wasn’t having fun then I wasn’t allowed to either.

Yeah, he sucks.

The lies about her one night stand whilst constantly accusing me of affairs. The jealousy, the constant spending money on absolute crap. Running up debts for me to pay off. Bad mouthing me to her friends, fortunately they knew the truth. I don't miss a single minute of it, just feel sympathy for her new husband. Another Mr Nice Guy that's slowly being brow beaten in to the ground.

I’m not separated but these are the things I would not miss- documenting here for possible future use———

Pretending to be very much a new Man and finding my router stats full of dodgy porn at least 5 times a week (he doesn’t know I
look at the stats) I keep my powder dry in case Tinder etc pops up

Stuff from deliveries left all over tables ,

No local friends at all and isn’t bothered about any — so I’m locally the sole source of company/venting— no hobbies that get him out — he does have friends but none are remotely close by

Puts family guy on every evening at 10.30 and totally hogs the TV

Switches lights off at bedtime and assumes that because he wants to go to bed , then it’s my bedtime too And says he can’t sleep unless i go to bed too

Does not a thing around the home and then seems to resent the fact I have housework to do at weekends when he wants to go for long drives (with me)

A total lack of compromise on holidays, where we live etc

Constantly bringing up my not having done My driving test - I don’t drive because I can see it would be one long critique

Using expressions such as ‘you Won’t be told’ or ‘don’t interrupt’

Don’t miss him being snarky about me warming milk up in the microwave. He can stick his microwave up his arse.

I’m spoilt for choice. Here are the main things. The OCD about not touching his stuff like computers, having to sit in the car so as not to leave fingerprints even, not being able to spend my own money because he was secretly wasting it on whores and things he wanted to buy, not being able to have the kind of furniture etc I wanted, having to live where he wanted, snarky comments about everything including my family and friends, his disgusting loser relatives, the sounds he made when he ate, the way he smelled (like toilet bowl freshener), that stupid haircut, the way he sat on the couch eating yoghurt, the sound of him breathing. So glad he’s dead.

That level of ongoing morbid hatred even though he’s passed away is disturbing. I hope you’re getting some help.

Can I add another one, reminded to me by an experience at work today by another man - The bloody PEDANTRY

It's my least favourite quality in a person and almost always the hobby of middle aged men- coupled with the kind of smug 'I'm right' face when we all know what the person meant you superior fucker

InTruth, sorry, I didn’t mean to sound so grim. It’s a long process, but it’s getting there, more than 2 decades of bad marriage so heaps not to miss. I had forgotten some of it until listing it out and it will continue to fade. Some friends who have divorced have similar lists but I’m fortunate not to have the ongoing issues they have with needing to have ongoing contact for children and the upset that causes everyone. I am though enjoying the freedom and ability to now change the things about my life I can, like moving house etc.

@Milliepossum
in truth dead or alive there are clearly things we all do not miss

Still with stbex. What I want to miss!
Lack of emotional care
Talking on the phone when I'm out of the room
Him not saying he loves me in over 20years
Picking up his dirty clothes and moving his litter into the bin.
Angry words I'm not a good partner or mum
Silent distance evenings
I don't want to miss my sister anymore as I've not spoken to her as he didn't get on with her.
The feeling that he loves someone alce and him denies it .
The feeling he is only with me for my dcs (yes mine appart my youngest is ours)
I would like to miss all the gaslighting and always thinking there is something wrong with him. As he looks at his phone he looks like he has cried.
Name calling subtle evil words
Never initiates sex.
Expects me to guess when he will be back and have a hot dinner waiting after work. (I work to) never cooks or cleans .
Also the feeling of a massive lack of love towards me. Almost like he hates me. Plus lots more I want to miss.