Has anyone given up?

Pikabee · 2021-05-11T07:21:43+00:00

Online dating or dating in general. I just cannot be arsed. One year I've been online and ive had the following One crap shag A few ok dates Thousands of ghosting and men who arrange dates then ghost which is annoying Abuse for being a single parent A man who send me naked videos of his toddler daughter [hmm] Without being up my own arse I'm fairly attractive , got my own house and a good job. I'm just so bored by it and luckily I like my own company

Sandra15 · 11/05/2021 08:32

I hope you reported the naked video bloke to the police.

SortingItOut · 11/05/2021 08:34

Over on the dating thread people often take breaks from OLD, some a few weeks, months or years.

You definitely have to sort the wheat from the chaff.

Hopefully with things opening up we can meet people out and about.
Do you have any hobbies?

Lonelycrab · 11/05/2021 08:36

Not sure about given up completely but I totally get this. I’m a bloke fwiw but the ghosting thing works both ways; you say one “wrong” thing and poof! They’re gone and sometimes that’s after a fair bit of conversation. I’m not doing any sleazy talk or anything like that, I asked one woman which bit of London she lived in a few weeks back and that was the end of that.

I think with swipe based dating it always feels like someone better is round the corner or something like that. Getting to the point where I cba myself too.

Original poster

Pikabee · 11/05/2021 08:58

I didn't report him to the police which I regret. I was do shocked I deleted the video I reported him to the site which wont do anything. it seems being a single parent with boundaries is a crime. I dont want another dad or any money etc I'm a very independent person.

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Original poster

Pikabee · 11/05/2021 08:58

@SortingItOut

Over on the dating thread people often take breaks from OLD, some a few weeks, months or years.

You definitely have to sort the wheat from the chaff.

Hopefully with things opening up we can meet people out and about.
Do you have any hobbies?

I dont have hobbies as such as my ex isnt helpful with our child. I am starting the gym again though next week

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JustAnotherOldMan · 11/05/2021 09:12

I’m a bloke a well, not had the ghosting thing, but I live in a semi-rural area, so maybe that helps.
Pre-Covid met a few people, none really interesting (maybe they just didn’t like me ).
2 crap shags with one person
Met 1 nice lady but she was really just looking for a meal ticket,

Have given up now, summer is here & my outdoor hobbies are taking off again, so will give old a miss for a bit (for ever probably TBH )

AcornCups · 11/05/2021 09:18

Candy shop mentality is encouraged with online dating.

I am quite surprised you had so many dates lined up, did you really find that many worth the effort of meeting. I’m sorry they ghosted and hope you didn’t actually turn up and waste time.

OrchestraOfWankery · 11/05/2021 09:24

The men who message endlessly but won't meet up are most likely married, and just want the ego boost of chatting to multiple women.

Original poster

Pikabee · 11/05/2021 09:29

Alot of men send the poor me I'm too fucked up to date text the day before. They are blocked immediately.

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Original poster

Pikabee · 11/05/2021 09:30

I didn't have lots of dates lined up I hardly find anyone worth the effort

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Ballbagisnotmyname · 11/05/2021 10:25

Totally get where you’re coming from, I think with lockdown people are bored and looking at old as something to while away the time! I’ve taken a break from it this past year as it’s not worth it. I’ve had some brilliant dates and some horrendous ones, been ghosted and I’ve done it myself, I’m a single parent too and if I’m judged on that then off they fuck!! Unwanted dick pics have to be worse part 😂

Isitreallyme77 · 11/05/2021 10:32

I hid my Tinder profile 2 months ago and it was the best thing I did. I haven't deleted it in case a guy I met wants to message me. I did reactivate it a couple of weeks ago just out of curiosity and matched with someone almost straight away but I also hid it again almost straight away. I've been chatting to this guy and am due to meet him on Saturday but I'm just not sure on him. It's nothing he has done per se(other than a dick pick. Just why?) I'm just not feeling it. I will meet him as I might be surprised, he seems nice and has been honest (I can Google him and find him). He told me I was hard work the other day as when he tries to get all flirty I don't reciprocate.

I had 5 months of a really difficult one with a guy I matched with last year, he cancelled on me so many times that people on here were telling me to walk away and he could possibly be married or a cat fish but we carried on messaging for 5 months. I was going through shit so was he and I think due to lockdowns we just found each other easy to talk to. I did meet him, he wasn't married or a cat fish but he was extremely messed up by the end of his relationship. I really liked him, got the impression he liked me but it just wasn't the right time. However it was a complete head fuck and at times I wish I had walked away when he cancelled on me the first time. He is the reason I haven't deleted my profile as he said he would be back when he has sorted himself out (he said it before when he was moving out and he did come back).

I've guys who message for weeks and then the conversations slowly die out, I had one who arranged a date then cancelled on the day as he was apparently in a&e with broken ribs but still managed to go to work on a building site the next day.

I'm not convinced OLD actually works for most people, it certainly hasn't for me. In fact all it did was mess with my head and make me think I'm worthless and just not good enough to date. I think people see me as a desperate sad middle-aged divorcee and good for an easy shag and when they find out otherwise they're off.

Original poster

Pikabee · 11/05/2021 17:45

@Isitreallyme77

I hid my Tinder profile 2 months ago and it was the best thing I did. I haven't deleted it in case a guy I met wants to message me. I did reactivate it a couple of weeks ago just out of curiosity and matched with someone almost straight away but I also hid it again almost straight away. I've been chatting to this guy and am due to meet him on Saturday but I'm just not sure on him. It's nothing he has done per se(other than a dick pick. Just why?) I'm just not feeling it. I will meet him as I might be surprised, he seems nice and has been honest (I can Google him and find him). He told me I was hard work the other day as when he tries to get all flirty I don't reciprocate.

I had 5 months of a really difficult one with a guy I matched with last year, he cancelled on me so many times that people on here were telling me to walk away and he could possibly be married or a cat fish but we carried on messaging for 5 months. I was going through shit so was he and I think due to lockdowns we just found each other easy to talk to. I did meet him, he wasn't married or a cat fish but he was extremely messed up by the end of his relationship. I really liked him, got the impression he liked me but it just wasn't the right time. However it was a complete head fuck and at times I wish I had walked away when he cancelled on me the first time. He is the reason I haven't deleted my profile as he said he would be back when he has sorted himself out (he said it before when he was moving out and he did come back).

I've guys who message for weeks and then the conversations slowly die out, I had one who arranged a date then cancelled on the day as he was apparently in a&e with broken ribs but still managed to go to work on a building site the next day.

I'm not convinced OLD actually works for most people, it certainly hasn't for me. In fact all it did was mess with my head and make me think I'm worthless and just not good enough to date. I think people see me as a desperate sad middle-aged divorcee and good for an easy shag and when they find out otherwise they're off.

The guy you're meeting this weekend sent you a dick pic? Cancel

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CardboardBoxInTheRain · 11/05/2021 18:36

I wouldn't meet someone who sent me a dick pic. In fact, I dumped someone I'd be dating for a couple ofonrhs who sent me a dicl.pic in response to me telling him i was having a really tough day and so wasn't in the mood for chatting that night.

I gave up dating a while ago. Every couple.of years or so, I'll gp on a date if I'm asked akd I'm reasonably interested.

I have a couple of fwbs. Neither of them are suitable for a relationship - one is far younger than me and at a totally different life stage and the other is 10 years older than me aand has some qualities I wouldn't want in a relationship.

Sex with the older guy is technically better but it's so much fun with the younger one.

Obviously, I'd prefer a relationship but that's not on offer and never has been really. I've made peace with that.

Original poster

Pikabee · 11/05/2021 19:03

You know when someone texts you though for a while you start to feel closer then they turn into knobheads. I now arrange a date within 2 weeks of talking.

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Isitreallyme77 · 11/05/2021 20:32

To be honest a dick pic is the least of it and pretty inoffensive(after all it's nothing I haven't seen before I just don't usually get a photo), I was offered money by one guy if I slept with him, another was wanking on a video call (I won't do video calls now) and when I realised what he was doing I went to end it and all he said was "I haven't finished yet"! So if I'm not too bothered about a dick pic it's because I've had worse, and that was all in the past 6 months of OLD.

TheWaif · 11/05/2021 20:35

Yeah but why would you meet them? What's the plus point?

Original poster

Pikabee · 11/05/2021 20:41

Everyone I meet is a disappointment. Maybe they think I'm crap too lol

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Fireflygal · 11/05/2021 20:54

@Isitreallyme77, just because he isn't the worse doesn't mean you have to meet.

Raise the bar and date a man worth your time.

OutingMyself · 11/05/2021 21:04

I've met about six guys in total. The first five were really disappointing and I was thinking the same re giving up and just meeting people in real life. Now I've met one I really like that I actually find attractive though. We're going on a fourth date this weekend. I'm really trying not to let myself get carried away because I'm sure it could all still go to shit!

Isthisit22 · 11/05/2021 21:05

@Isitreallyme77

To be honest a dick pic is the least of it and pretty inoffensive(after all it's nothing I haven't seen before I just don't usually get a photo), I was offered money by one guy if I slept with him, another was wanking on a video call (I won't do video calls now) and when I realised what he was doing I went to end it and all he said was "I haven't finished yet"! So if I'm not too bothered about a dick pic it's because I've had worse, and that was all in the past 6 months of OLD.

Just because it has been worse doesn't mean you should accept poor treatment.

Sending you a dick pic and calling you hard work shows he's horrible.
Raise your standards- you deserve better

Original poster

Pikabee · 11/05/2021 21:05

Men are so odd I've decided. Do they get worse as they get older?

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Sandra15 · 11/05/2021 21:16

@JustAnotherOldMan 2 crap shags with one person

What makes a 'crap shag' - hate to say it but it takes two to tango shag! Do fill us in!!!

JustAnotherOldMan · 11/05/2021 21:17

@Pikabee

Men are so odd I've decided. Do they get worse as they get older?

As a man I used to think that women were odd. (and some really are)

But certainly don’t get why anyone would send a dick pic, that really is some strange behaviour

Original poster

Pikabee · 11/05/2021 21:18

I don't understand why someone would go so far to arrange a date then act all weird and silent beforehand. Treat people human ffs

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